Active discussions

Help end medical misogyny. Sign our petition.

Help end medical misogyny.
Sign our petition.

Sign the petition

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Why would you pretend to be poor?

188 replies

Sndhehjzugwvs · 22/12/2021 10:14

Someone recently disclosed to us their annual income. This was done very intentionally to make a point that they were struggling financially... This worried and concerned us.

We have been head scratching as to why they told us this because they absolutely know we do not have spare funds given our income.

Fast forward a couple of months and we find out that they have released very high six figure sum towards a business venture.

Why do some people play the poverty card when they are clearly anything but poor? Sadly, I bet we are not alone in knowing people like this.

We cannot fathom the reason for this disclosure. To be honest, we found it a bit sickening given the concern it caused us when in fact they are clearly more than ok financially. It is true: there is nowt so strange as folk!

We have some family members who are genuinely struggling financially and this false plea of poverty is just horrible when we know the reality of people who ARE struggling.

Why on earth do people not think before causing others unnecessary worry!

Wishing all a peaceful Christmas and a lighter, smile-filled 2022.

OP posts:
LolaButt · 22/12/2021 21:06

I’ve been on my knees broke - sold everything of any value, payday loans, bailiffs, court judgements etc.

I’m in a very different position now. I have allowed people to think I have a mortgage on my home, and don’t drive a flashy car etc.

Probably because I’m embarrassed. Because I’m relatively young and I didn’t earn the wealth that I have now. I have it because my husband died and feel funny that people may think I profited off of his death. Well I guess financially I did, which isn’t a nice feeling. It’s not malicious and I don’t pretend I’m poor. I just don’t correct people’s assumptions.

astorsback · 22/12/2021 21:36

I think it really depends on what was said and the circumstances.

I also think that it's not done to admit you're well off. It's alienating.

kweeble · 22/12/2021 21:52

LolaButt - you really shouldn't feel guilty but I understand you keeping quiet about your wealth. Yes, you gained as a result of your husband dying, but in no way does it compensate you for his loss and I'm sure he'd have wanted you to feel more secure and to make the most of your life. I will feel the same if I inherit from my parents.

ScaredOfOverDiagnosis · 22/12/2021 22:58

RoundRobin, what is the point in lying on an anonymous forum? Where is the satisfaction of people thinking you are rich when they don't even know you? There is a lot of wealth around, OK not millionaires in terms of cash but a lot of jobs do pay well. Especially people that are now in their 40's and above.

RoyalFamilyFan · 22/12/2021 23:20

@LolaButt people probably realise. Lots of people benefit financially from the early death of a partner. That is a reality. But of course you would rather have your partner.
A friends wife died young at 52. Her DP has been able to retire as a result. But everyone who knows him knows how badly her death has affected him.

DaisyNGO · 22/12/2021 23:27

OP "To the question of why telling us the figure would cause worry and concern: the figure is very low: "

But why would that worry you? Are you talking about the kind of situation that you thought they would have their home repossessed or something?

Is it possible they told you a low figure to get out of being asked to go places or an expectation to give gifts?

I knew a very rich woman who was careful around potential friends to avoid being befriended purely for her money.

Contactmap · 23/12/2021 01:14

But why would that worry you? Are you talking about the kind of situation that you thought they would have their home repossessed or something?
Or that an inheritance might be in jeopardy ?

RoyalFamilyFan · 23/12/2021 01:16

@Contactmap but why would you befriend someone rich for their money? Unless they are an elderly person with zero relatives, you are not going to benefit from their money. So this seems a really strange concern to me.

Booklover3 · 23/12/2021 01:34

Very odd. I probably wouldn’t trust them after that

Contactmap · 23/12/2021 02:27

@RoyalFamilyFan I strongly suspect that the couple in question are either the OP's in laws or parents.

oftenbaffled · 23/12/2021 08:21

[quote Contactmap]@RoyalFamilyFan I strongly suspect that the couple in question are either the OP's in laws or parents.[/quote]
Totally agree

Original poster
Sndhehjzugwvs · 23/12/2021 10:32

@RoyalFamilyFan*;*@Contactmap and @oftenbaffled: nope not in laws or parents pinky promise!🤣🤣

OP posts:
oftenbaffled · 23/12/2021 11:10

So a very close friend then

So why aren’t you happy that they have released an investment, no doubt only just able to released and previously tied up and unavailable to be liquidated…. And now embarking on a new business venture, probably to increase their low income!

Presumably they don’t drive fancy cars or exotic holidays, as you would have mentioned

RoyalFamilyFan · 23/12/2021 12:04

@oftenbaffled because they have lied to OP.
I wouldn't trust friends who lied to me.

oftenbaffled · 23/12/2021 12:05

Where have they lied??

Low income
And investment that was no doubt tied up
When liquidated, they invested In a business venture presumably with intention to increase income

Op doesn’t ,mention fancy car or holiday or extravagant lifestyle so presumably fit in with low income proclamation

oftenbaffled · 23/12/2021 12:07

There is absolutely nothing wrong with someone NT deciding to end a relationship because they do not want to be with someone that displays the features of a ND person

oftenbaffled · 23/12/2021 12:09

Wrong thread!

RoyalFamilyFan · 23/12/2021 12:32

@oftenbaffled they told their friends their income which is low and said they were struggling. It is a lie.
In reality, the friends had massive investments.
I could have an annual income of £5k but millions in investments. I wouldn't pretend that my annual income was all I had access to and that I was struggling.

oftenbaffled · 23/12/2021 12:33

But perhaps they didn’t have access to it!! In all likelihood they would not have done if a sum that big

oftenbaffled · 23/12/2021 12:34

If someone had a decent amount of equity in their home
But was earning £16k a year

Would you say they were lying if they said they were struggling?

RoyalFamilyFan · 23/12/2021 12:36

@oftenbaffled equity in a house you live in is very different to investments. Of course people have to sell houses and downsize if they are struggling. But people do need somewhere to live.
Although if someone was living in a massive house and had little income and said they were struggling in spite of equity, I wouldn't have much sympathy.They can sell up.

I wont be friends with liars. Dont tell me things if you don't want to. But don't lie.

RoyalFamilyFan · 23/12/2021 12:38

@oftenbaffled pretty bad planning on their part then. But then I would expect them to say their income was low, but they had investments they would soon get their hands on. If you are going to talk about how much money you have, you don't paint half a picture.
Its like someone I know who talked about the low wage she was on, but failed to mention the rents she also received from houses she owned.

jb7445 · 23/12/2021 12:40

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

RoyalFamilyFan · 23/12/2021 12:43

@jb7445 very very nasty of them.

oftenbaffled · 23/12/2021 12:44

[quote RoyalFamilyFan]@oftenbaffled pretty bad planning on their part then. But then I would expect them to say their income was low, but they had investments they would soon get their hands on. If you are going to talk about how much money you have, you don't paint half a picture.
Its like someone I know who talked about the low wage she was on, but failed to mention the rents she also received from houses she owned.[/quote]
Many many small business owners do this

Suck up a poor income In order to channel and anything and everything disposeable in to their business

To poor planning at all

It’s entrepreneurial