Why would you pretend to be poor?

[Sndhehjzugwvs]

Someone recently disclosed to us their annual income. This was done very intentionally to make a point that they were struggling financially... This worried and concerned us.

We have been head scratching as to why they told us this because they absolutely know we do not have spare funds given our income.

Fast forward a couple of months and we find out that they have released very high six figure sum towards a business venture.

Why do some people play the poverty card when they are clearly anything but poor? Sadly, I bet we are not alone in knowing people like this.

We cannot fathom the reason for this disclosure. To be honest, we found it a bit sickening given the concern it caused us when in fact they are clearly more than ok financially. It is true: there is nowt so strange as folk!

We have some family members who are genuinely struggling financially and this false plea of poverty is just horrible when we know the reality of people who ARE struggling.

Why on earth do people not think before causing others unnecessary worry!

Wishing all a peaceful Christmas and a lighter, smile-filled 2022.

@ChiefWiggumsBoy explains it best, the 2 different financial positions are not comparable.

Also there is probably the 'woe is me' aspect of it, folks love being a martyr for some reason!

Because people hate well off people.

How did the conversation arrive to become a disclosure made about income?

I never discuss my financial status, it is however bad to lie about it. I would just say I don’t talk about finances if directly asked. The reason I don’t share my status at all is I do not want to be asked for a loan. Plus the fitting in thing is true. There is much chatter about how will the kids be able to afford their own homes amongst my peer group. I just agree that house prices are out of control which is true and say yes I will help DS out somehow which a lot of my friends aIso intend to do. I don’t tell them that I will buy DS a house outright. DH and I are not telling DS yet either.

Why don't you ask them then?

You have obviously decided that they have lied for nefarious reasons.

Rather than let this fester, why not ask them why they told you they were struggling financially whilst investing significant sums.

I maintain it is possible to be on a modest income as you don't want to dip into investments that are earmarked for pensions or other things.

Obviously income is different to wealth but a low income doesn't mean you are struggling financially. One of my relatives pleads poverty on their income but overlooks their mortgage free 2m house & their 6 months abroad in their holiday home.

When she moans I just tell her to downsize or release equity.

People treat you differently when they think you have money. In a recent group chat I disclosed that I have no unsecured debt, it made people think I'm loaded. That is far from the case, but people do make assumptions.

The only time I have ever pretended to be poor was when a pisstaker, now ex friend, tried to borrow money from me. Other then that I see no reason to lie but maybe in your case they had already reserved money for their big investment?

I lived with a girl in college like this. When used to beg food , toiletries etc off the whole house because she claimed she had no money and wasn't entitled to a grant because she was repeating a year. At the end of our exams she flew off for a 3 week holiday in Jamaica with her sisters 😡😡 some people just use the pity card to take advantage.

We have been head scratching as to why they told us this because they absolutely know we do not have spare funds given our income.
So you told them about your low income but can't imagine why they told you about their low income ? I can imagine...

People pretend to be poor as they don't want others judging them or being jealous. I have a very ordinary job and background. I studied by night to get a better quality job. As far as acquaintances/in laws are concerned, I work on an office.

I didn't really spend on drinking and smoking when younger. I still went out and went on hols, albeit cheaply. Now, at 50, I own a second property, have over a 6 figure sum in savings, while still leading an ordinary life. I am not into fashion or nails. If colleagues or friends knew how much savings I had, they would judge me as being mean. However, I find false nails/eyelashes uncomfortable, have no interest in fashion/nights out. I like a dinner out but working, dealing with dcs mean I rarely have energy or get free time to go places I like foreign hols city breaks but dh is not keen. I find sun hols boring.

I know someone that earns £130k, I let her boast, I earn more than her but I let her believe she's this big thing.
It's not worth the hassle, you look like an idoit talking about money and your wealth.
People are jealous. People use you. Modest lives are easier or the perception of modest lives.

Growing up my parents claimed we where poor-they’d bought an ex council house but had no money left over

I was shunted off to live with my grandad as they couldn’t pay care fees

(I adored living with him) but we had very little to live on and very little luxuries

We grew up and it turns out my parents had been squirrelling away large chunks of money as they didn’t want to ‘waste it on the kids’ or ‘him’ (meaning my granddad)

We had everything second hand/free food/shoes with holes in them,no proper winter coat/gloves unless she could get one free for us etc

They where comfortable to say the least-looking back my mother always had money for what she wanted

They now use it to lord over my brothers/grandchildrens heads

‘Do/don’t do that or we’ll cut you out of our wills and you won’t see a penny’ (I got cut out years ago)

They’ll proudly tell you how poor they are-even though they have eye watering amounts put away behind the scene’s-it’s like it’s out of sight so out of mind

Usually where I live, income is undeclared so people can claim more/pay less tax.

I know about three people in my street alone who are making false benefit claims. Mainly relating to partners who don't exist but are staying over every night.

@Icenii

Because people hate well off people.

This, essentially.

In my last job, I was subjected to jibes and sneers from some colleagues, mainly about how I didn't need to work, I could afford to be a SAHM, I didn't need to budget, I was taking up a job someone else could have had etc etc because DH had a high income.

What about me having worked very hard to get where I was, and wanting to work?

They also had no idea about DH's serious illness and disability, and how many years he earned absolutely nothing as he was so ill, they just saw his job title and made assumptions.

People where I work now have no idea he outearns the CEO - when he can work, but it's not constant or consistent.

Going by the reactions to high earners and wealthy people on here I can’t blame people for pretending.

We play down our wealth to friends and family because I know we would be treated differently. When anyone asks how my business is going I say fine. It’s easier.

@Aprilx

Their annual income and whether they have any capital are two completely separate things though.

I don’t know why they would tell you their income anyway, but a low annual income does not mean that they don’t have capital.

That is true. But if I had a low annual income, but loads of savings or capital, I wouldn't make out I was poor.

Low income doesn't mean they've never had a high income.

It doesn't mean that they have no savings.

Its possible to have a low earning potential and inherit cash. It doesn't mean they're irresponsible with money.

It sounds to me that these people live within their income and protect their savings from being eaten into.

i get this a lot in the student finance setting I work in where some students on full loans and bursaries are from anything but a poor background. Annual/Household income is a blunt tool for measuring someone's financial need.

Con men will stoop to anything. They have no limits. Now you know.

You've learned a valuable lesson about them, at no costs to yourselves.

Fast forward a couple of months and we find out that they have released very high six figure sum towards a business venture.

Perhaps this £750K or so is not personal money? Perhaps it is company money and is there for the proper conduct of the business and not to be drawn out willy nilly. Creditors, suppliers, HMRC and investors have the right to be fully protected and not at the vagaries of a Maxwell-like business owner treating their company like a personal fiefdom.

Maybe they were embarrassed they had so.much more than you do. It is weird behaviour though.

Most of the wealthier people I know are tight wads

Most likely to fit in, especially with students.
Also, was an article about it, many people including actors like to exaggerate or lie about their working class-ness to make it look like they've earned their success on their own.

Personally, from past experience, it's better not to talk about money. 1. If you haven't got much, it's can be embarrassing. 2. If you haven't got much, people may accuse you of trying to milk sympathy. 3. If you have it, you don't want people knowing incase they beg or try to steal from you.

What do they mean "released"?
If they've borrowed money then that's not the same as being rich.

Borrowing money for a business venture off a residential property is never IMO a good move.