Who is being unreasonable?

[RedSquirrel111]

Friend A is self isolating after a positive PCR today. Friend A lives on their own.

Friend B is helping out by picking up shopping.

Friend A has written a list to pick up and will pay Friend B back. List includes cigarettes.

Friend B despises smoking and says she'll pick up food and medication but not cigarettes.

WIBU??

Tesco do a whoosh services. Delivery in an hour. It costs £5 but hey ho

@GertrudePerkinsPaperyThing

Very unfair of B.

I was going to suggest paying B in advance as cigarettes are so expensive but I don’t think this is B’s issue, is it?

No, it's definitely not the money. It comes from a good place, she cares about me and doesn't want me to smoke. I do get that. But I just wish she'd relax her principles for this week.

Ex smoker and can’t abide smoking but I think your friend is being unreasonable and actually quite cruel and controlling. It’s as if they’ll only help you out on their terms for things they see as essential and whisky smoking might not be for some, it’s really not their decision to make

I’d get the food off them and look for alternatives like an Uber picking you up 200 or something and then reconsider he friendship after you come out of isolation. Friends should support you not control you

B is. You either want to help a friend or don't. Your morals have nothing to do with it. Friend A is isolating, lives alone, and wants to smoke. Friend B is being a judgmental twat and shouldn't offer if there is conditions to that help.

sounds a bit like childcare - if you get something for free, you don't always get exactly what you want.
have you looked to see if any of the online delivery services operate in your area? Waitrose & Co-op have small order delivery services in some areas

@RedSquirrel111

Oh, think I might get uber eats. Do they deliver cigarettes? and wine

I work in a supermarket and we fulfil ubereats orders - we regularly get UE orders for things like a couple of packs of cigarettes so you can definitely get them delivered. If you live somewhere where UE has supermarket deliveries then you will definitely be able to get them.

The town I live in also has their own local UE style service for places like Bargain Booze and local corner shops, one of my friends is a delivery driver for the local service as a side gig to his day job and he can easily spend an evening just delivering cigarettes and wine to various local estates.

B is a dick.

order online
www.smoke-king.co.uk/cigarettes

Bit of a daft question maybe, but presume they will need ID if I get a delivery? How do I do that without opening the door?

This sounds quite 'high-horsey' (if that's a word) of friend B. If you're going to volunteer to be a good friend and do shopping, then you don't get to pass judgement on the shopping list.

Have you got a local Facebook page? Someone on there might help you out, I'm in some for a few different areas where I, and family, live and people have shopped for alcohol and cigarettes for people isolating because they can't include it in online shops as they want to see ID.

B isn't being helpful. B is being an arse and controlling. Either help someone or don't.

Given the circumstances I would say B is being a total arse.

Either get the shopping or don't, don't go through the requested shopping to decide which items are deemed healthy enough to be permissible to buy.

My local co-op is on deliveroo and delivers in around 20mins, so there's a chance local places near you are on it too. Worth a check. They are happy to see your driving licence/id at the window if you are isolating.

Show the ID through the window

Not B's decision to make. Either they want to help or not.
Otoh - you can 100% get cigarettes delivered although ime limited brands and cost ££££££ - got me through 1st lockdown on 1 a day when the kids went to bed though 🙂

B is not unreasonable. I would not buy smokes for anyone regardless. Gross.

Isolation and sudden nicotine withdrawal doesn’t sound fun .

If you can’t get hold of cigarettes, Amazon prime has nicotine replacement products you can order.

I'd do the local delivery of its available. Groceries too. You wouldn't need your JudgyMcJudgy friend at all then.
Hope you feel better soon 🚬💐

I couldn't buy cigarettes. I know this because in 2020 I went shopping for a neighbour and she'd asked for wine and I was really uncomfortable because she's a functioning alcoholic and I felt I was enabling it. I did it, but avoided volunteering after that.

When I was isolating, I asked a friend to buy me some chocolate and she bought me the smallest bar possible. Maybe she had some kind of moral principle?

I wouldn't begrudge anyone saying no to buying certain things they would feel uncomfortable with. There are other ways of getting things rather than putting friends in uncomfortable positions.

B is not a very good friend.

Either you want to help or you don’t.

As a smoker, if I had to isolate for 10 days without any smokes I’d probably be depressed as fuck tbh.

B is bothersome

If she was vegan, would she refuse to pick up milk and eggs if that's what A wanted?

Maybe? I could understand a vegan or some religious person not wishing to buy certain items against their beliefs. I guess though in that example no one is addicted to food like bacon and eggs and could eat alternatives.

I wouldn’t like buying cigarettes but I can’t imagine anyone quit smoking from having someone else do something like this. It’s controlling.

Uber local to me will do cigarettes. It will cost you more than from the shop but....

You know what she's probably worried about you with covid and doesn't want it on her hands if you get really ill from smoking whilst with covid
I can see why your friend is reluctant to buy you fags in that case
Thing is smoking isn't a necessity is it, it won't be that comfortable at times but you can go without them