nicknames for neighbours

[TheCreamCaker]

Do any of you have nicknames for friends and/or neighbours? Over the years, we've had:

The Lottery Queen (she once won a few thousand and bragged about it for years)
Internet King (used to sit on his PC in the window - with no shirt on)
Father Ted (got a mass of white hair)
Roman Helmet (hair in that shape which is plastered to her head)
Mr Muscle (very petite and short man)
Honey Monster (huge woman with a moustache)
Big 'tache Slipper Man (no description needed)
The Mole (neighbourhood watch lady)
Barry the Bag (always shopping)

We have the Clampetts across the road....the loudest voices ever, two non stop barking hounds, next door is the Duke and Duchess.... think they own the road, garden full of crap, but think they are the bees knees always calling the police because I'm 'harrassing' them...im not, they've been told now to stop. If they are reading this...YES WE ARE STILL WAITING TO HEAR FROM YOUR SURVEYOR!

Noisy sex girl (although we had not heard-had a text from a neighbour asking if we could and they are about ten houses down)

T shirt man (wears a t shirt all year round)

Daily Mail Mouth (always trying to sniff out any neighbourhood scandal)

Wobbly cunt - shouty bald fat man, he was once on the phone in his garden ranting and grunting " I'm a wobbly cunt am I?" and "Yeah! Send 'im round 'ere!" at someone who turned up later to continue the row in person. Wobbly stayed in his house and refused to come out.

@Lemonlady22
Our neighbours are the clampetts too
We also have big fat Ben and princess Fiona
Then there’s the lottery winners - who seem to have more money than taste

OP those are brilliant 😆 the bar has been set.

I live THREE doors down from Noisy Lady (although I also have less polite names for her). She is fucking loud. She likes to have phone calls in her back garden that I can hear from inside my (front) bedroom with all the doors and windows shut. She has the world's most annoying laugh and voice.

Back when we had the clap for the NHS thing, she used to cavort about in the street in her undies banging a fucking saucepan with a spoon and whooping.

We tend to call ours after their pets or cars, so Mrs Rough Collie, Mrs Brown Mini...

Bin wankers - bin always overflowing, bagged up nappies chucked out of the bedroom window over night and large plastic items like old toys accumulate in the garden as the bin men won't take them but the bin wankers keep trying.
Tash - lovely lady, never told us her name but was talking loudly in her garden to a friend about hair removal creams for the face.
Van twat family - always parked their van stupidly close to other vehicles and would leave it idling for ages on a morning.
Butty shop - always posting on facebook about the local cafe who deliver on a regular basis to her house. Usually thanking her dad for buying them.

Nebbercracker (grumpy bastard next door)
I-love-me-who-do-you-love (facing us)
That dickhead in the Merc (a bit further down)
Hyacinth (further down still).

God knows what they call us.

Not now but when I was younger my sister and I called the man living across from us Ugly Naked Guy. We were massive Friends fans and he would walk around once it was dark topless with the lights on and no curtains/blinds drawn for the whole street to see him.

*Red cap (this guy passing my house wore the same red cap everyday for at least a year)

*Treadmill Charlie (another neighbour I would see often jogging but the speed he was going would always make me laugh)

*Mrs Blobby

Yes, we do. Trouble is I can't say as it would be very identifying!

Mr Happy (miserable bastard)
Bob the Nob (wanker next door called Bob)
Car Wash Man (generally does this a minimum of twice a week all year round)
Creepy Clive (lives a few doors down, wouldn't leave a child alone with him!)

We lived opposite a lady we used to call Makka Pakka as she used to clean and paint the stones white (on a Regular basis) in her front garden.

We have:
Garage door man
Annoying new next door
Postman pat
Mario
Green peace

I didn't realise so many other people did this

We have stick man, who walks his dog in the local woods each night and comes back with a huge log over his shoulder Every Night. Also the Happy Shopper, a lovely lady who just shops every day and always has loads of bags . And then there's Dan Dan Duster man who is also lovely but drives dachia duster hence the nickname..

Witness protection people
Lisa (that's her name)
The Cunts
Jack Spratt and his wife
Grumpy Git
Fat Fiona and the bloke she got off her computer

Names have been changed to protect the innocent

Malcolm down the end (we've lived here 5 years and still no idea of Mrs Malcolm's name)

Bossy twat neighbour (whose name I know perfectly well but refuse to use as she's a bossy twat)

Foghorn leghorn (has a voice that could carry across the English Channel and incredibly boring topics of conversation also no idea about GDPR and holding work conversations the entire street can hear)

Nice Sarah (she's nice, she's also the only Sarah on the street so no real need to distinguish her from anyone else)

'The new people' - been here at least 18 months now

Vincent Tabak - this one is a bit dark obvs but he wanders the neighbourhood alone at night and has a suspiciously shaped flower bed with flowers that seem to grow quicker than anyone else's (some 'special' fertiliser perhaps?)

We call the bloke next door 'Big Balls' because he swaggers around as though his testicles are too swollen for him to get his legs any closer together. And because he has small man syndrome.

We have 'aerial ears' who appears like the shopkeeper in Mr Benn as soon as anything is being done to the house or in the garden. Harmless enough, just a nosy old bugger who badly needs a hobby

The Ice Queen - because she's so unfriendly!

The fake family, married over 20 years they walk the dogs together laughing away, shut the front an batter each other, even worse when drunk.
The nutter, has long red curly hair but is bald on top was arrested a while ago after coming out of the woods covered in blood, he had killed a pheasant but imo he looked like an absolute nutter, hence the name.
The nice old lady, she's lovely always says how smart the kids look for school when we're walking up every morning.
& finally the arsehole, he's just an absolute arsehole great and friendly to everyone one of them who shouts HIYA MATE HOW ARE YOU, to someone 300 yards away, but then a 100% grade A twat to his poor wife.
He thinks no one knows, everyone knows.

The Gobshites, The Phoney Fuckers and The Royals. Gobshites have very loud rows outside and zero fucks are given. The phoney fuckers pretend to like you then slag you off to other neighbours and the Royals who think they are so much better than the rest of us. Knobheads the lot of them

We have Nodding Bob, Mrs Nevis & her son Ben (not their real names), Southern twat, (originally arrogant southern twat, but that took too long to say), misery guts & used to have Smiling Morn but she's moved now.

I know all my neighbours by name but my mums got some great ones :
Monkey
Fatso
Steve-with-the-dogs
Prostitute man
Young couple ( because they are under 50)