nicknames for neighbours

[TheCreamCaker]

Do any of you have nicknames for friends and/or neighbours? Over the years, we've had:

The Lottery Queen (she once won a few thousand and bragged about it for years)
Internet King (used to sit on his PC in the window - with no shirt on)
Father Ted (got a mass of white hair)
Roman Helmet (hair in that shape which is plastered to her head)
Mr Muscle (very petite and short man)
Honey Monster (huge woman with a moustache)
Big 'tache Slipper Man (no description needed)
The Mole (neighbourhood watch lady)
Barry the Bag (always shopping)

My parents loved to name their neighbours- a couple that were awarded £157k for the wife's back injury were known as the 157s, their other neighbours were oz & screech. We also had Mr Softy who was a pop salesman! We call our neighbour DiY derek after topsy & Tim as the knob is always out doing diy shit at stupid hours!!!

Twitch and twat (curtain twitchers)
Red Faced Dave
The Addams Family (have 3 moody, goth teenagers)
The Amish (lots of kids, mum dresses like she's in a cult)
Prince Naz (guy is a massive drip, wife is extremely hot, he's punching above his weight)
Sex Pond Sally
Our local Councillor, Tory Wanker and his wife, Margot (Leadbetter)
The Desperate Housewives or SWAGS (stockbrokers wives and girlfriends)
Fat Dog (has a fat and poorly bred German Shepherd, I judge)
Hipster Dad

We're The Jews at 32 (probably)

There's lots of gold here, but LOL at Bernard Manning

BFG big fat George
Miss Stooty
Mrs Snot, she is a snotty rude woman
Busy Lizzie knows everyone’s business.

We have
Wayne and Waynetta
The Mr We's
SuBo
The ho next door

Mildred the Pigeon Lady
PC Zipline
Old Italian Guy

I currently have Marlene and Boysie living next door. He likes to shout about having a nice glass of cognac of an evening. She has the voice and the laugh.

Used to have Cat Woman who liked to be charge of holiday feeding all the neighbours cats.

Horatio who was something important in the Navy.

Marlene might also have been separated at birth from Charity Shop Sue

We've got:
Noncey Nigel
Soldier boy- always in camo gear
Stan from South Africa
Scouty Lisa
Knobhead from behind the hedge
Shit parker- cannot park well
Flower lady- beautiful gardens
Posh twat
Feet fixer- chiropodist

The Chavs (very loud but basically harmless)
Scottish tiny twins
Weekend Porsche driver
The Cooper-Singhs
The poet and DJ hot tubsters
The Russian babka (80 yo chainsaw queen)
The Drips
The Tangs (name changed) from Ong Kong
Malaysian lady with 1 armed boyfriend
Latvian gangster boi
The Krauts
Malawian architect & his lad
Mr & Mrs Gladman Hussain & grumpy daughter
The Footballer & his mum
Syrian Tree boy (very talented football player, translates for his parents but sometimes gets football stuck up tree!)
Very multicultural....

Listening as I type to The Gospel Gerties, I can hear every word the over zealous minister is shouting through the wall...in fact I may join in with a few 'HALLELUUUJHAS' in a minute...

Morc & Mindy (detached)
(Marcus 'call me Mark and Amanda 'call me Mandy') the black 4x4 driving couple who twin with every outfit and have 2 grey french bulldogs called Tatty (Tattinger) and Bolly (Bollinger)

Mr Brightside. He's a miserable cunt (bungalow at the end)

mr and mrs skanky-pants

After his wife in an argument shouted at him for leaving his skanky pants on the floor

The hag (had a go at my mum for no reason)
The yaps (had 9 dogs who barked all day)
Screech (nosy woman with a screechy voice)
Leech (woman who leeched 😂)
Cow features (used to deliberately parj her 2 cars in such a way that we couldn't park anywhere near our house)
The troll (evil little woman!)

2 Jags (although they went years ago and he’s been relegated to 1 Mondeo)

The Get Along Gang (always arguing with themselves and everyone else, loads of kids)

Facebook Brag

The Lottery Kids (20’s but always applying for extension planning permission)

The Audi Family

Alpha Female

Mary Poppins

@FairAdmissions

I need to know more about Sex Pond Sally !

We don't have names, we just have numbers. I think Number 62 and Number 70 are having an affair, and I am sure Number 60 is a drug dealer (low level or he wouldn't live here).

@itchypoopark

We don't have names, we just have numbers. I think Number 62 and Number 70 are having an affair, and I am sure Number 60 is a drug dealer (low level or he wouldn't live here).

Oh we had a 'Mr No 15' for years. until one day we started chatting and we found out his name and became really good friends with him and his wife and still are.

Ha ha love these.

We have

• Smiley o'riley- miserable cow
• Big blue (massive gob and the rest with bright blue hair)
• bulldog (little woman with a gob like a bulldog)
• shouty mcgee
• fatty arbuckle

-porn mag man (always burning mags in his garden when his wife is out lol)

We have Lucretia and Juan King, Are You Not Having One Karl? And the tosser at number 24. More than that I will not say. 😁

@ThePlumVan

She owns a hot tub, which is a perfectly valid choice, and I'm a terrible person.

Happy and dead. She never smiles and we didn't see him for so long we thought he'd died.

The smokers. Always having a smoke out the window at 10am on the dot without fail.

David 2.0. Has 4/5 broken cars on his drive and works on them at 3am.

How is she still living? She's about 1000, ambulance attended 5 times a week.

Cougar- she used to have a sporty cabriolet car and dries her extensive animal print thong collection outside on a washing line. She is mid sixties and lifters divorced. Well known in the village for sleeping with other peoples husbands, apart from mine who hates her with a vengeance after she refused to pay for repairs to our car when a roof slate came off her roof and landed in the middle of the bonnet. He holds a grudge!
Other side lives the hermit, you can tell what day it is by his activities. And even though he’s been retired for years still comes out at 6.30 every morning to de ice his car, excruciatingly by hand with a small scraper. We renamed him “Mr Picky”. He had block paving drive laid last summer and because of the slope on the drive he had the builders back 3x to sort out the lip between the pavement and drive as it was catching on his exhaust. Then called out the car dealership to test it with one of their demonstrator cars to fully check if builders had sorted it before taking his own car back over it. He’s always having work done on the house, we regularly have bets on how many times he gets tradesmen back to sort out preserved problems.

Years ago, our neighbour was known as ‘Cone Lady’. This was because she used to reserve an extra parking space outside our flats with a cone and would get miffed when we moved it to park our car (there were 3 spaces for 5 flats and she wanted to used 2 of them BTW!!)

We have new neighbours in the street. We have seen then a few times but they finally moved in today. So far he has been named Wide Boy, because he looks like someone you see getting hauled out of a car on Police Interceptors. looking forward to settling on a name for him over the coming weeks.
He has moved next door to Bernard Manning (the one who complains about his mother in law all the time).

We live half a mile from anyone else - love it! Our neighbours from our old house were called Chip and Pin - only because their names rhymed.