nicknames for neighbours

[TheCreamCaker]

Do any of you have nicknames for friends and/or neighbours? Over the years, we've had:

The Lottery Queen (she once won a few thousand and bragged about it for years)
Internet King (used to sit on his PC in the window - with no shirt on)
Father Ted (got a mass of white hair)
Roman Helmet (hair in that shape which is plastered to her head)
Mr Muscle (very petite and short man)
Honey Monster (huge woman with a moustache)
Big 'tache Slipper Man (no description needed)
The Mole (neighbourhood watch lady)
Barry the Bag (always shopping)

Actually crying with laughter!

We have;

Mr perfect grass (self explanatory- highlight was when our 5 year old called him this)
The conservatives (they had a poster in the window in the last election)
Mercedes family (seem to have a different Mercedes each week)
Can't park house (they can't get out of their drive if a car is anywhere near)
Old lady (We think she died, but we're not 100% sure as lights come on ever so often, but we never see anyone coming or going)
Nosey ginger woman
And finally
Hollywood big boobs

I have the spice girls (actually a man, woman and son) but they are so desperate to be friends with the cool mum and dads it’s funny to watch. I do feel a bit sorry for them as they much be so insecure. So we call them them the wannabes Aka spice girls

We have

Hyacinth
Tannoy Tasha & Mr Tannoy
White car woman (she lives alone but has 3 white cars)
Boris and Carrie (he has messy v light blond hair)

I'd love to know my nickname!

Recently moved and all new neighbours are lovely but previously had:
Captain Underpants
The Malvolios
Party Gal
Les Miserables
Tour de France
Peter Pan

When I was a child, we had loads of neighbour names, the most graphic being “Mrs Wah Wah Headscarf”

The original precedent could have been set in the film Rear Window, where an injured James Stewart is immobilised and christens his neighbours after several binocular days.

Nosey Bastard over the road
Mr Sheen he cleans his car most days
Fat Shirl on the end

Yes we have Grumpy Steve, the caravan oddballs, lovely Vicky, and 'fucking nosy bitch needs to get a life.'

We have "Camera Dave"
They have cctv on their house.
He has been dead 5 years but his house is still "camera Dave's house"

We had Rentafanny.....the prostitute

One one side we have ‘the Nazi bastard’ - all his cats are named after prominent Nazi figures. I was quite shocked when I found out their names as you wouldn’t suspect it as he’s very polite and unassuming. Can’t stand to be around him now of course.

Our other neighbour is Mrs Bucket. She’s very into her dinner parties and suppers (or she was before covid)

We have Mike TV two doors down because he’s always watching tv when we walk past or talking about TV when we chat.

Two doors down on the other side is Mr Angry as everything we have ever seen him do is with rage. He can’t even close his front door without slamming it.

In my street there is:

Big tits
oafish son
mr magoo

We have

Baldy bloke - pretty obvious that one
Matey Boy
Rusty
Twat from across the back

Yappy dog family
Beware of the dog family
Showy offy family
Curtains shut family
Hideous lights house
Nice old man with all the dogs

We live next door to Scary Denise (no explanation necessary) and Steptoe and Son (single Dad and his teenage son, a bit rough). On our row there’s also Soya Yoghurt and her husband (they caught covid during lockdown one and on the neighbours WhatsApp she got really shitty when another neighbour dropped her off a care package that had dairy yoghurts in when she only eats soy) and Sharky and George (he’s called George. The wife’s name we never learnt, but she’s kind of mean and we grew up in the mid-nineties with the French-Canadian amphibious crime-busters on telly ). It’s kind of comforting to know that it’s not just us who do this.

Mr and Mrs Normal - just seem like the most inoffensive young couple

Front Garden BBQ - self explanatory. He looks like Dominic Raab and is also an idiot

The Happy Man - just always so cheerful.

Toploader- man with curly hair like the singer from... you've guessed it.

We used to live next to "The Tree Murdering Bastards!", and Papa Smurf.

Papa Smurf was a lovely old man. The TMBs not so much!

It doesn't quite satisfy the brief of this thread, but somehow, and I wish I could remember how, DP and I decided that the young lady who bought my flat was in the petroleum extraction business (she 100% isn't) and so she became Josie The Oil Rig Worker.

We call one of ours the cockney cock

We live next door to the Klopeks I swear....

The knobs...next door who are the epitome of parking wankers but also play loud music all the time, have full blown screaming matches at 3am...dd has learnt some choice words after being woken by it, leave dog shit all over their yard for weeks on end in the middle of summer and go on holiday and leave their 3 dogs outside and they bark ALL THE FUCKING TIME

Crazylady...night our the other side... I bloody love her. She is like family

The wannabe...arsehole who reported crazy lady to the police during lockdown 1 because I was in her garden...I have to walk through her garden to get to mine...what a prick!

There is a chap who walks past at 705am every single day come rain or shine. He always gives the biggest smiles and has a quick chat. I have no idea who he is or where he lives but dd refers to him as "Smiley man"

We have Nice Jenny and her husband Hootie (he hoots when he laughs). Not So Nice Jenny (aka the other Jenny if anyone is listening) - she's miserable, no apparent kids or husband, not surprisingly. Wendy (but her name is actually Mary, she just looks like Wendy Craig).

Clive the solicitor (always tells you he is a retired solicitor) and Batty Barbara (woffles about nothing).

My friend lives next door to 'the people in the old goat house' . This was a small ramshackle hut on a piece of vacant land that was sold off over the years and eventually got planning permission, which then was sold on and new planning obtained for quite a vulgar humungous new house built & now known as the old goat house. The actual name of the house is akin to 'the old barn house' yet there's never been a barn let alone another house there (Anyone who has watched Mama Mia the movie will understand the goat house reference). My friend, who has lived there for years and years, is debating whether to tell them that a body was once found in the old shed......

The Alpaca (snooty woman with very odd bouffant permed hairstyle on top of her head)

The Animated Corpse (looks like one)

Dave the fish - he's a fishmonger
Mr Dave the fish - daves dad
Ken ray - when we moved in he told me his name was Ken but told my partner his name was ray. Still don't know which is right
Blackberry thief man - everyday he'd walk his dog past and grab a handful
Mrs red hat - always wears one

We refer to most of our neighbours according to their dog’s names ‘Lola’s Mum’ ‘Tilly’s Dad’

My DH loves to chat to the old dears in our road, so a few are referred to as ‘your bit of stuff down the end/on the corner/in the flats’

Next door is Freddie Boswell
Over the road is Booby Sue