Didn't get the job. How to get over it?

[Handy123]

I just found out today that I didn't get the job.

It's a job that would have been perfect for me, combining two areas of my expertise. I'm well qualified and experienced in both areas.

The interview went really well last week and I thought I had a chance. I thought that I was warm, friendly and confident without being arrogant. I had to do a long presentation and it went smoothly.

The problem is now I will be really negatively affected by this. It's really dented my confidence. I probably spent 15-20 hours preparing for it (usual for that type of role) and I'm now questioning whether I'll be able to go for a role like this again.

I have asked for feedback but apparently all the interview panel are now on AL, so it won't be until January. I now have a feeling I'm in for a glum Christmas. Sorry I know its a very self-pitying post, but I feel like I've had such a huge setback.

AIBU?

YABU - Dust yourself off and try again
YANBU - It's normal to feel really gutted and to have knocked confidence

I always find the feedback pointing out the areas I was lacking is the most helpful - even if it was difficult to take at the time.

The reality though OP is that you were probably very appointable- they just only had one job to offer,

@woodlandarchitect

OP I really feel for you

In November I had an interview for the perfect job. Then a second interview at the beginning of December. Then I had a 3rd interview to meet the team & have a chat and introduce ourselves.

And then radio silence ever since it’s bloody painful. Especially when you know it was the perfect role.

But there will be others

My sympathies. That has happened to me several times recently and it hurts.

And, please. I don't want to see any self-serving posts from HR people whining about how bussssyyyyy they are. If I can spend hours preparing for multiple interviews and a presentation HR can darned well spend a few minutes writing me an email telling me that I didn't get the job.

@Terribleluck

A applied for 80 jobs and only ended up with one offer. Role and company of my dreams. I start on the 10th, hang in there!

Congratulations!

@Animood

Yes I think she is being too sensitive and also not realising it's absolutely fine to fail. It's normal and to be expected to fail when job hunting.

As one PP said, she applied for 100 jobs. Now if you've applied for 100 jobs and not got one, you have the right to be upset!

But 1 job, nah. Dust yourself off and crack on.

I don't think it works like that.

I've been applying for permanent jobs since 2014; I've had a lot of disappointments, and I've applied for far over 100 jobs. But it's still the case that some jobs hit you especially hard. Often I barely register the refusal, or I go to an interview knowing it'd be a long shot, or that I'm not really a good fit. Even so, every now and again a rejection hits particularly hard. Yes, it's one job - but you still get to feel bad.

Hiya
I came on this thread as I'm frantically Googling when will I receive a rejection email. I had a second interview yesterday, like you I had prepared so much. I had to meet some trustees so it seemed very relaxed and the conversation turned friendly which is always a good sign. I put so much effort into it as its my dream job and I too wouLd be gutted as like others I've done more than a few interviews lately and this on the surface I felt was the best. I havent been notified as yet if I was successful but gut is telling if I don't hear today its bad news and I don't think I've prepared for it. They did say towards the end of the week.

I am temping so it's even more crucial for me to get a permanent role.

I completely feel your pain as I was turned down last week for another job but you know life has a funny way of sorting itself out and chances are if they weren't feeling it after a few months of being in the job you may not have too. It's all about fit in the end and no matter what experience you have you just can't influence their best fit idea.

A few quality street choccies and a glass of something, relax and learn from it because if you do chances are you will land that next dream job.
As for me I'll be back on the thread this week echoing your depression if I get turned down. It's not nice but it's life and I am a firm believer the right opportunity will come

Same happened to me a few years ago. It was a job that I was already temping in.

I took it very badly and I sympathise.

It sounds a bit like they are trying to avoid giving you feedback...

I realise this is going to sound incredibly trite and cliched but I do honestly believe that everything happens for a reason. You may not know what that is at the moment but I bet you look back in a few months time and realise that the job was not right for you after all - maybe because you find a better one or something else changes in your life.

I did not get a house I bid on a few months ago - am ashamed to say I was GUTTED, full on sobbing after the Estate Agent rang me. It was honestly such a punch in the gut as we had virtually moved our life into this house and bid on it twice way over the asking price.

For a whole variety of reasons I now look back (I drove past it the other day) and realise after all it was not right. I thought it was perfect but in hindsight the area was not right (I didn't know the area well, was purely going on the actual house) and actually now realise that it was not for me after all.

I am not sure about your industry but in mine at the moment there are loads of opportunities so I bet something comes along randomly in the new year that you couldn't foresee.

Honestly, someone may have just had that edge on experience. I have lost out on jobs before and received wonderful feedback about my experience and personality, but someone else just had that edge over me - whether it be length of exp. or working on one area in particular that they really wanted to utilise.

Oh OP, i could have written this back in February about a job that was PERFECT for me but i didnt get. In fact, i posted on MN about it because i was so distraught!

I cried all evening and a bit of the next day, then gave myself the weekend to 'grieve' and told myself i had to pick myself back up on monday. As it turned out, i felt a bit better about it after a couple of days anyway.

It felt so raw at the time and i took it really personally, going on a downward spiral about how rubbish i was and how i would never get the experience i need because every role wants you to have experience!

However... about a month ago, the hiring manager approached me to tell me about an opportunity that was coming up on the team soon, and that i should apply for it. I did, and got it! Although they have changed it slightly so my new role is a developmental role, so i can learn as i go along. If i had got the role back in February I would've been thrown in straight at the deep end!

Everything has a way of working out. You will get another role, and one that's better than the one you've missed out on this time. You have put your name out there now, which is great. Just give it time

Some times it’s not that you won’t be good for that job but not the best fit within a team. Often this is because of more difficult members.

OP i feel for you. YANBU. Can’t believe anyone thinks you are unreasonable actually.

I know how frustrating this is, especially when you've spent so much time preparing and researching. I try and think of the phrase, 'if it doesn't open, it's not your door', as I find it helpful. Sometimes things just work themselves out and the next opportunity will be 'the one'.
Hope you can move on and be thankful for the experience in time.