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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

WWYD? Leaving small kids for 2 nights

101 replies

TheHeartGoesLast · 19/12/2021 23:06

DH and I are going to a wedding next week, which is a 4 hour drive away and will necessitate a 2 night stay. Children are not invited. This is will mean leaving my 1 and 3 year old with their grandparents (who we see regularly and they have a good relationship with) for 2 nights.

I have only spent one night away from DS, and none from DD. They are both creatures of habit and v attached to me. Is this going to scar them forever? I'm worried about traumatising them, I know at some point they'll be upset I'm not there. I'm really stressed about it. Would you go?

OP posts:

Summerfun54321 · 19/12/2021 23:10

Do whatever makes you happy. If you aren’t happy to leave them, you won’t relax and have a good time at the wedding.

Mischance · 19/12/2021 23:13

Are they going to be in their own home or grandparents'?

KILNAMATRA · 19/12/2021 23:14

Would you hire Airbnb near venue and then you could pop in and out? Ask grandparents to stay there to mind kids? If you’re worried?

DownWhichOfLate · 19/12/2021 23:17

Next week? Are you in the UK? You never know, restrictions might kick in. I’d be tempted not to go anyhow. Childcare and pandemic. All too stressful.

backtolifebacktoreality · 19/12/2021 23:18

Scar them for life????!!!

sparklytriceratops · 19/12/2021 23:20

I wouldn't go (not that I think you'll be allowed to anyway). I couldn't enjoy myself with all the worry. Not to bash people who could/would go though- wish I could even have one night off!

thisgardenlife · 19/12/2021 23:22

They'll be with their grandparents, they'll be spoiled rotten fine. Relax and enjoy yourselves.

NoSquirrels · 19/12/2021 23:23

They won’t be traumatised or scarred.

They might miss you and create a bit of fuss for grandparents but… they love those grandparents and presumably you trust them and they agreed to the plan so they feel they’ll cope. Children are easily distracted.

Go and enjoy yourself. There’s always a first time for doing anything. Be grateful your children have loving grandparents willing to do this and that you can have time alone with your DH.

Teacupsandtoast · 19/12/2021 23:24

What time is the wedding? Does it really need to be two nights? More from a covid perspective than anything else! Plus how organised are you to be able to be away for 2 nights the week of Christmas?!

mswales · 19/12/2021 23:24

You'll probably find they'll be completely fine, with the novelty of being with grandparents they have a good relationship with.

TokyoSushi · 19/12/2021 23:25

It'll be fine, but there is also a small chance that the wedding might not be on...

MyOtherProfile · 19/12/2021 23:25

They will be fine. It will be good for them and for you.

Having said that, covid mutter mutter...

ftw163532 · 19/12/2021 23:30

Sorry, which part of that scenario do you anticipate being traumatic? I'm not being rude but do you actually know what trauma means?

Can't tell if you're confused or being deliberately hyperbolic.

Original poster

TheHeartGoesLast · 19/12/2021 23:30

They'll be staying at their GPs. I don't think they'd recamp to an air bnb for 2 nights and who could blame them, I would feel so cheeky even asking.

I am a worrier and I might be overthinking things. I am worried about traumatising them and causing attachment issues I feel reassured that some obviously think this is a bit of an over reaction!

OP posts:

Luzina · 19/12/2021 23:33

Can you not do 1 night only? If it’s a 4 hour drive you could get up early to get to the wedding, stay the night then go home the following day?

Also a 2 night stay at their GPs will def not scar them forever, or at all

TestingTestingWonTooFree · 19/12/2021 23:33

How selfish and inconsiderate are the B&G to have a child free wedding at Christmas?! Maybe everyone apart from you is local, but it’s a big ask.

Your children will be completely fine. Go if you think you’d enjoy it.

Agadorsparticus · 19/12/2021 23:35

They won't even remember it in years to come, they'll be fine.

HeddaGarbled · 19/12/2021 23:35

2 nights with grandparents they have a good relationship with, no problem IMO.

The wedding though, highly doubtful. Poor bride and groom, they must be stressed beyond belief.

ShinyGreenElephant · 19/12/2021 23:35

I wouldnt go but wouldn't judge anyone who would. I doubt it will go ahead anyway so problem solved

cleantheshelfaftertheelf · 19/12/2021 23:35

I wouldn't leave them as I'd just be worrying about them being upset.

SnugKnights · 19/12/2021 23:38

They’ll be fine OP. It definitely won’t cause attachments issues. They might miss you and express that at bedtime or if they get start annoying each other, but they’ll be absolutely fine. I’m sure they have times when they’re upset when they’re with you and their Dad, it’s not that different.

Mamamia7962 · 19/12/2021 23:38

They will be fine. Of course they won't be scarred by this. When they're older they won't even remember it.

mumofEandE · 19/12/2021 23:40

Good Grief

User2638483 · 19/12/2021 23:40

I think they’ll be ok, but of course you will feel funny being away from them.
But I also think that the time to think this through should’ve been when you rsvp’d and it would be really poor to pull out now having accepted.

Or just go for one night maybe. But it’s really off to change your mind about the wedding altogether now.

NoSquirrels · 19/12/2021 23:42

I am worried about traumatising them and causing attachment issues

It’s not traumatic and you won’t cause attachment issues.

Honestly.

Truly.

Two nights with grandparents they love is not a cause of trauma.

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