I did the most Mumsnetty thing I've ever done today. Guess what it was?

[MagnoliaPaintedWalls]

Today I did probably the most Mumsnetty thing I've ever done. Am the first to admit that when I read about it on Mumsnet I was deeply skeptical, but after today I'm converted. Go on, guess what it was?

@CharlotteGoldenblattYork

Referred to someone as a cockwomble when they're actually a plain old fashioned cunt

Obvs this. Can someone pls explain stunt pineapple - it’s just I think I have one.

Also, it’s always cycling.

A poo knife is a knife for cutting up excessively large turds that cannot be flushed away.

Sometimes referred to as poo stick or in our house, metal coat hanger 😂

Oops,meant to quote @TwistedOlivers

@Fetchthevet

Sucked on the dentist's finger?

WHAT? This is new to me.

@BakedTattie

A poo knife is a knife for cutting up excessively large turds that cannot be flushed away.

Sometimes referred to as poo stick or in our house, metal coat hanger 😂

just pour hot water down

Wonderful trip down memory lane on this thread 😂😂

Bollocks - here was me hoping you had cancelled the cheque . . ..

Got your washing off the line before it got darked on?

@CheeseMmmm

Drew a map to explain a parking outrage to a friend?

Shopping list with naice ham?

Had your 10th and final meal for your family of 10 from 1 small chicken?

Fell out with everyone you know over a wedding invitation that you think is 1/2 hour too early to start, as they should know that's when you feed your gerbil?

love it!

Stunt pineapple: If you are showing off or selling your house and you put a pineapple into the fruit bowl to make it look better.

You should have cancelled the cheque while writing a shopping list on the back of it, with naice ham as the top item on the list. You would have to do all this while scraping poo off your shoes with your poo knife and dreaming up ways to make your left over roast chicken from today's lunch feed your family of 6 for 3 months.

If anyone decides to do all this and then posts about it, please don't forget to include a diagram.

@ShirleyPhallus

Got one already. It's in the cleaning cupboard with 'poo' written on it. For when you have to scrape poo out of school shoes? Or is it another Centreparcs thing? Am confused

Hang on, I could see why you might need a poo knife to get poo OFF a shoe, but scraping it OUT of a shoe?! How does a poo get inside a shoe??

I thought a poo knife in the traditional sense was one you need to slice a poo if it’s too large to be flushed

I think it's fair to say that poo gets everywhere, if it wants to. And it always wants too. Oh dear, now I sound like the poo troll. My poo knife is within easy reach for both the traditional use of the poo knife and any further poo removal tasks. It's a very handy item and possibly a great last minute Xmas gift for those hard to buy for relatives?

Separated out your tea towels from the rest of your wash?!

@3luckystars

Stunt pineapple: If you are showing off or selling your house and you put a pineapple into the fruit bowl to make it look better.

Oh! That's very Mumsnet (and also slightly disappointing).

@MagnoliaPaintedWalls

With thanks to all for this short lived (hopefully, but you never know with a Mumsnet thread let's face it) but glorious thread. Today, Mumsnetters, I bleached my skirting boards. And I cannot tell you what a game changer it was. They were filthy! And now they sparkle like freshly laid Christmas snow. They, and this thread, have made me a very happy Mumsnetter.

I've completely missed bleaching skirting boards!! What do you do?! 🤔

@Wishineverchangedmyname

Got your washing off the line before it got darked on?

Nope. Mine got darked on today. And it didn't even get dry! Too cold and damp. That's why I bleached my skirting boards.

Asked a genuine question ? ?

@MountainAshley

You should have cancelled the cheque while writing a shopping list on the back of it, with naice ham as the top item on the list. You would have to do all this while scraping poo off your shoes with your poo knife and dreaming up ways to make your left over roast chicken from today's lunch feed your family of 6 for 3 months.

If anyone decides to do all this and then posts about it, please don't forget to include a diagram.

And a photo of your cat. Thank you.

Well I washed my carpets with bio liquid instead of carpet shampoo ( another mn thread) fuck my house smells like I put it through a wash 😀😀😀

@3luckystars

Stunt pineapple: If you are showing off or selling your house and you put a pineapple into the fruit bowl to make it look better.

Pineapples were used to signify welcome and wealth, but more recently on social media seem to signify swingers. Bring out the stunt pineapples!

You took a spa day.
And left a shopping list in a supermarket trolley. Naice ham, and such.

Took in a lodger?
Help with ironing?
Went to SPA?

I think if you’re getting poo inside your shoes it would be better just to pop them in the dishwasher

I thought pampas grass signified swingers.

Wooden floor, it can handle it. Not sure I'd risk it around a carpet.