There are no such things as Empaths

[Seafog]

Ffs.
Empathy ....some of us have more empathy than others, but it doesn't make you a fucking empath!
If you have sympathy for people, would you go around saying you are a sympath?

Just say , "I have so much empathy" or "I am really sensitive to people's emotional state."

Making up a word to try and make yourself sound more special makes me think you're attention seeking twat.

AIBU?

@Kanaloa

You might not notice the person talking about a bad time they went through and scratching their arm till they draw blood then cover it up, or the restless leg that's going under the table. The biting of the lip, lack of eye contact, certain ways of talking, the over or under expressive body language, the jumping out the skin at a loud noise and the lingering look of fear in the eyes even when the moment has passed. There are many things that those with mental health do that too many people would not notice but some of us get a sense of it.

Firstly, everyone has mental health. Secondly, noticing that someone jumps out of their skin/scratches themselves till they bleed while talking to people about their traumatic events doesn’t make you an empath or clairsentient or any of the rest. It just means you’re not blind. Most people would notice these things. And of course if you continually embroil yourself with those who are struggling you’ll notice them even more.

And group therapy skills can not be used independently by someone to ‘guide others through their feelings.’ That’s not how it works. They are to be used in a group setting with the support of professionals.

I would think it’s unhealthy to be so focused on ‘helping’ others. It’s hard enough for professionals to help when it comes to poor mental health, never mind someone who thinks they can ‘sense’ other people’s mental illness.

Do you even know the skills they teach in group therapies? They are given to them for them to be used in the wider world. They are given in the group setting for you to practice before you take them further so the individual can practice using them and getting to know how to use them better. Yes, I am focused on helping my friends and family as they have helped me over the years. I won't turn a stranger away from giving advice to seek further help and a friendly chat either but am much more cautious with what I share with them. Always advise to seek help from professionals. You may be very surprised how little people see. Noone say any of these signs in me over the years. Even as a teen, no doctor or family member noticed the big scars from where I had scratched myself raw when nervous, or the inability to hold eye contact (was actually labeled rude for that).

Apiddle people have done that oh I don’t know why I told you thing to me dozens of times. It’s a simple as you have a kind face. I look kind therefore this happens to me a lot. Nothing to do with feeling emotions deeper than others because as others have pointed out, how on earth can you know that? Seems a very teenage way to think.

But I do, when people tell me I'm wrong in how I perceive someone based on what I feel and see and I turn out to be right. It happens a lot. And no, my experiences are just that, based on experience, where outcomes have become known and discussed and I am asked how I knew what I did.

Perceive what? Right about what? What do you mean by being right? How often are you told that you're wrong in what you're saying about others? How do you ascertain that you were right? How often are you even having these conversations amd why? And, perhaps most crucially, how do you know how often you're wrong? How much of these people's lives and actions do you follow to be able to make any assessment of how often you're right or wrong?

I feel I'm very resilient as I tolerate much more than many people do.

"Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle."

Catching up a bit more, saw an empath respond to a bereaved parent by telling them off, and only thinking to offer condolences later. Surprise.

@RobertSmithsLipstick, I'm so very sorry.

@DrSbaitso

Catching up a bit more, saw an empath respond to a bereaved parent by telling them off, and only thinking to offer condolences later. Surprise.

@RobertSmithsLipstick, I'm so very sorry.

Yes. That was very informative wasn't it?

I find it very helpful when people classify themselves as empaths. Lets me know who to avoid.

It's always a certain kind of person. There's a need to feel important despite not having made an effort to achieve anything. It's a weapon they use to lord it over other people--to play the victim and/or claim greater authority.

On social media, I find it's former school-mates who dropped out early on (and obviously feel ashamed of that but not enough to go back and finish school or train for a career) and who get into drama with other people frequently.

You might not notice the person talking about a bad time they went through and scratching their arm till they draw blood then cover it up, or the restless leg that's going under the table. The biting of the lip, lack of eye contact, certain ways of talking, the over or under expressive body language, the jumping out the skin at a loud noise and the lingering look of fear in the eyes even when the moment has passed.

Of course most people would notice that.

I diagnose a Messiah Complex here. Going around saving all these people must keep you very busy.

@DrSbaitso

Catching up a bit more, saw an empath respond to a bereaved parent by telling them off, and only thinking to offer condolences later. Surprise.

@RobertSmithsLipstick, I'm so very sorry.

I also noticed that. Says a lot doesn’t it?

@DrSbaitso

Catching up a bit more, saw an empath respond to a bereaved parent by telling them off, and only thinking to offer condolences later. Surprise.

@RobertSmithsLipstick, I'm so very sorry.

Yes, that was quite jaw dropping. The conversation has solidified my opinion that people who call themselves empaths are narcissists with mental health issues.

@RobertSmithsLipstick I am so very sorry

@Pinknelly

Apiddle people have done that oh I don’t know why I told you thing to me dozens of times. It’s a simple as you have a kind face. I look kind therefore this happens to me a lot. Nothing to do with feeling emotions deeper than others because as others have pointed out, how on earth can you know that? Seems a very teenage way to think.

I'm not known for having a kind face, more like a bulldog chewing a wasp 😄 Empathy is a spectrum so ofcourse there are people who are more empathetic than others and ofcourse there are people who are more understanding of the suffering of people compared to others. When someone tells you of their experience and suffering, do you suffer alongside them or do you just feel bad for them but can carry on? Or do you feel burdened with their suffering and end up suffering the same emotions? Some people are more empathetic than others on certain subjects that they themselves have experienced. It's more than just feeling empathy for me though. I have had prophetic dreams. I have had predictive intuition where I have told people things are going to happen that wouldn't necessarily be known until they happen. There is a reason people think I'm weird and freaky 😄 I met my partner in a dreams years before I actually met him. There is so much more to being an empath than some think according to this thread.

I am going to assume that those having an indirect dig at me also noticed the apology and how it was a mix up. Says a lot about you lot and your understanding and empathy 🤷‍♀️ you lot are poisonous.

@Apiddleawiddle

I am going to assume that those having an indirect dig at me also noticed the apology and how it was a mix up. Says a lot about you lot and your understanding and empathy 🤷‍♀️ you lot are poisonous.

Well I hope you can't feel how I suffer when people call me names like that.

@Apiddleawiddle

I am going to assume that those having an indirect dig at me also noticed the apology and how it was a mix up. Says a lot about you lot and your understanding and empathy 🤷‍♀️ you lot are poisonous.

Hold on. You quoted the post, so you read the bit about being a bereaved person but still decided to tell them off because offering your condolences, mix up or not.

We aren’t the poisonous ones here love.

@Apiddleawiddle

I am going to assume that those having an indirect dig at me also noticed the apology and how it was a mix up. Says a lot about you lot and your understanding and empathy 🤷‍♀️ you lot are poisonous.

Ffs. It doesn’t matter that you had “mixed up” the posters. You chose to berate a bereaved parent. The fact that you’re so blind to what people are saying to you is exactly why you’re NOT empathetic.

@PriamFarrl

You might not notice the person talking about a bad time they went through and scratching their arm till they draw blood then cover it up, or the restless leg that's going under the table. The biting of the lip, lack of eye contact, certain ways of talking, the over or under expressive body language, the jumping out the skin at a loud noise and the lingering look of fear in the eyes even when the moment has passed.

Of course most people would notice that.

I diagnose a Messiah Complex here. Going around saving all these people must keep you very busy.

Have you learned nothing? You don't diagnose unless you are qualified 😉 I don't go around feeling superior or that I'm anyone's saviour. I am just a friendly ear. You would be surprised how many people with severe mental health issues express that noone wants to listen to them, noone cares enough to notice things about them, noone relates to them and they feel so alone in their suffering. No, most people do not notice these things.

@Allmadeoflego I pointed out what seemed like hypocrisy in what I had read and mixed up who said what.

@Apiddleawiddle

No, most people do not notice these things.

How do you know?! Unless they actively say "look what's happening" you don't know if they know or not. They may just not be pointing it out to other people!

@MrPoppysParka read what I have replied to the other poster above. People are berating mental health issues in others left right and centre but you seem to be focusing on me because I claim to be an empath in person, not on a forum as that's not how it works. I pointed out what seemed like hypocrisy because I mixed up who said what and an apology was made.

Here's your post @Apiddleawiddle quoting Robert. I've struck through the line where you wrongly attributed the comment to her. The optics still aren't great as you rode roughshod over her trauma to make a point.

RobertSmithsLipstick
Yea, I'm totally ignorant.
That's why I belong to a bereaved parents group.
Because I have no idea about trauma.
So you DO understand the need to relate and talk to others and share experiences and that it is a healthy way to help process the trauma. The hypocrisy is fascinating when comparing to your previous comment claiming its unhealthy. Your original comment still remains ignorant wether you experience trauma or not. Not everyone processes trauma the same and we all have different coping mechanisms and sharing experiences with other trauma sufferers is generally not considered an unhealthy coping mechanism.

[quote youvegottenminuteslynn]@Apiddleawiddle

No, most people do not notice these things.

How do you know?! Unless they actively say "look what's happening" you don't know if they know or not. They may just not be pointing it out to other people![/quote]
Because in my experience even when these things are pointed out to people they remain in denial that it doesn't mean what I say it could mean. This particularly happens on forums where people continue to berate posters for behaviours linked to mental health after its pointed out mental health is at play.

What gets me is how many of these 'empaths' are on sociopath and abuse recovery groups. Like, all us non-special folks were fooled by the love-bombing and fast-forwarding, but you guys feel what other people feel! How did you not feel what the abuser was truly feeling? How did you not sense the darkness?

Let me answer for you - because 'empaths', like all other codependents, are simply people with no boundaries or sense of self. Even by their own accounts, they can't even have that simple boundary between themselves and other people's 'energy' - whilst, as stated above, not being able to detect it somehow in psychopaths and the like.

My experience has been the same as other people's here - that those people who believe empathy is a super-power always have precious little of it.

[quote Apiddleawiddle]@MrPoppysParka read what I have replied to the other poster above. People are berating mental health issues in others left right and centre but you seem to be focusing on me because I claim to be an empath in person, not on a forum as that's not how it works. I pointed out what seemed like hypocrisy because I mixed up who said what and an apology was made.[/quote]
Ahh I SEE. On a forum you don’t give a fuck about people’s trauma? Gotcha.

As @Clymene says, you berated a bereaved parent before offering them condolences. That has jackshit to do with the mix up.

@Clymene

Here's your post *@Apiddleawiddle* quoting Robert. I've struck through the line where you wrongly attributed the comment to her. The optics still aren't great as you rode roughshod over her trauma to make a point.

RobertSmithsLipstick
Yea, I'm totally ignorant.
That's why I belong to a bereaved parents group.
Because I have no idea about trauma.
So you DO understand the need to relate and talk to others and share experiences and that it is a healthy way to help process the trauma. The hypocrisy is fascinating when comparing to your previous comment claiming its unhealthy. Your original comment still remains ignorant wether you experience trauma or not. Not everyone processes trauma the same and we all have different coping mechanisms and sharing experiences with other trauma sufferers is generally not considered an unhealthy coping mechanism.

OK, now quote the post that followed where I said I'm sorry they were suffering and hoped that having somewhere to share their trauma helped them. Even after I thought this particular poster was the one to say that sharing trauma was an unhealthy coping mechanism.

I think you need to be very careful with how you are conducting yourself socially apiddleawiddle. There's quite a few posters who are (at best) perplexed and (at worst) aghast at the behaviours you are describing.

You're overlooking that lots of people spot mental health issues, patterns of disturbing behaviour, hidden cries for help. There will be times when it's appropriate to get involved, and times where it isn't. If it's a case of "can't help but get involved" because some higher power is telling you to, then you need to find a way of unpicking and controlling that.

But whatever the interpretation of your behaviours, OPs original comment still stands:

Making up a word to try and make yourself sound more special makes me think you're attention seeking twat.

"Empath" doesn't exist in any diagnosis classification. It's a word that originated from star trek and was later used by marvel.