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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask where you meet professional men?

542 replies

InsideMyBed · 16/12/2021 14:25

To people that have professional dh with high earning careers (over 100k salary Shock).

Where did you meet them and how did you get together?

Wondering because apart from consultant doctors and dentists that I interact with in clinical settings only, I don’t think I ever come across men who earn over 100k salary.

I feel like most people I know earn £18,000 - £55,000 at the most. I’m sure a few might be on £60k but £100,000 a year Shock. That seems like so much money to me. I’m a university graduate and most jobs in my industry pay between £25,000 - £35,000 a year.

Where do you meet men who earn over £100k a year? Apart from doctors, dentists and barristers. I’m a bit jealous I will admit because these are the kinds of men I don’t even have access to much less share my life with one! BlushShock

OP posts:
sst1234 · 16/12/2021 16:16

Feminism went to curl up and die when it saw this thread.
Women have no hope if this is how they want to get on life, by snaring rich men.

forinborin · 16/12/2021 16:17

I'd actually say it's easier if you're more of a plain Jane. Have heard a few men say they're less likely to cheat so best off marrying them!
Well, we don't know how blessed the OP is in the looks department. I'd say that beautiful women I know have never had to wonder for where and how to find suitable* men, as they always were approached first and kept a long list of suitors.

*by suitable, I mean suitable from their own perspective - for some money / wealth took priority, for some - looks, for some - personality.

BeyondOurReef · 16/12/2021 16:18

Things are bad when you need to advise an OP to look a memes.

To ask where you meet professional men?
To ask where you meet professional men?
To ask where you meet professional men?
caringcarer · 16/12/2021 16:19

This thread had Daily Mail all over it. 🤣🤣🤣

Lovinglife45 · 16/12/2021 16:22

I have always felt that money moves with money. High earners seek out high earners. Even on MN where many women are SAHMs, it appears most were high earners before giving up their careers. Therefore they have the potential of earning well and simply choose not to. Big difference to women who worked in junior roles before becoming SAHMs.

MarshmallowSwede · 16/12/2021 16:22

Unpopular opinion.. but if a man earns 100k then no gold digger is looking at him. That’s not the sort of cash gold diggers go after. I wish women would stop acting like any man who ears a high salary should be worried about good diggers… a Man who earns 100k doesn’t have any gold to dig. Stop it. You sound ridiculous.

Unless a man has several million in his account that he can access then the words gold digger shouldn’t even come out of his mouth.

Women are our own worst enemy.. men are on the streets acting like they have riches beyond with a very normal salary. I work in tech and I’m a high earner, so a man earning 100k who had the audacity to let gold digger pass his lips I would laugh at. I hate that whenever a woman is asking about a man who earns money then here come other women to shame her.

I can suggest looking at tech networking events. A 100k salary is normal for tech professionals (software engineers, consultants etc)…. But that salary doesn’t warrant anyone calling anyone a gold digger.

I would suggest business conferences as good places to meet someone as well.

I met my husband at the supermarket, completely removed from any sign and signifier that he was a high earner. So you can meet a nice man any place.

whiteorchids44 · 16/12/2021 16:22

This post has to be a wind up, surely.

OP, do yourself a favour and educate yourself on career prospects that earn the salary you want so YOU can WORK and achieve your OWN financial goals. Don't pursue a relationship based on money.

Why are people giving gold diggers advice on where to find rich men? You are just enabling her.

CommanderBurnham · 16/12/2021 16:23

Concentrate on earning 100k yourself my dear. You're more likely to meet someone like that when you yourself mix in those circles. And if you don't, it doesn't matter.

Realistically I met my 100k ++ DH when we were both graduates earning a lot less.

VladmirsPoutine · 16/12/2021 16:24

Tbh someone has to marry the rich men of world so why can't OP be one of them. Precisely why I think Kate Middleton was an incredibly savvy young woman. Someone had to be princess so she gave it a shot! If a rich man is going to find a wife why can't it be you.

Sally872 · 16/12/2021 16:24

If you want a better income work on earning it yourself. Look at what you can do to advance your own career.

For a partner you should have chemistry, similar outlook on life and similar interests.

Grow up.

Happyhappyday · 16/12/2021 16:26

I met my DH at Oxford. He’s a software developer. Dev jobs don’t always pay that well in the UK but someone with a few years experience wouldn’t be far off that.

SpongeBobJudgeyPants · 16/12/2021 16:27

Have you namechanged for this OP?

edification · 16/12/2021 16:28

Well, you have to have self-confidence, carry yourself well, be natural and just get talking to people of all walks of life. You're not going to find a rich, or to be rich man by coming across as a bit desperate and feeling inadequate earnings wise

HereticFanjo · 16/12/2021 16:29

Be careful what you wish for. Many such men are married to their work more than their wives, especially once children come along.

Veeveeoxox · 16/12/2021 16:30

I think this is a troll post my OH earns over 100k a year we met when I was 18 and he was 24 he was unemployed Grin he's still a nightmare to live with , also just because they are rich doesn't mean they are generous, I pay for all my own stuff and DDs and go halves on most stuff unless it's widely out of my budget . My predicted earnings will be about 40k in a couple of years time in a university educated professional role.

My tips work hard yourself and be independently wealthy or at least solvent , meet them young or be ridiculously good looking and take care of yourself.

BeyondOurReef · 16/12/2021 16:30

Unpopular opinion.. but if a man earns 100k then no gold digger is looking at him.

I think you are failing to appreciate how low rent won’t gold diggers are. 🤣

The aren’t necessarily looking for a jet set lifestyle, just for someone to pay for them.

I think it’s a very good thing that the response that kind of thing gets is: earn your own money, love.

Staffy1 · 16/12/2021 16:31

Aim at earning that amount yourself, not looking for a man to sponge off.

TheSpanishApartment · 16/12/2021 16:32

I keep reading about the coding nerds being on megabucks. My husband is a coding nerd and on nowhere near £100k. Where can he find these £100k+ jobs?! I suspect they are in the city. Same with the big earning accountants, lawyers etc. I know a lot of accountants and only know two who are on 6 figures. Depends what route you take.

BeyondOurReef · 16/12/2021 16:32

My tips work hard yourself and be independently wealthy or at least solvent , meet them young or be ridiculously good looking and take care of yourself.

Definitely. My advice to any woman is to never make yourself financially dependent on a man. Ensure you can support yourself (and your children) no matter what.

No one knows what’s going to happen in life, but making yourself reliant on someone else’s generosity seems especially risky. Unnecessarily so in most cases.

VladmirsPoutine · 16/12/2021 16:34

I pay for all my own stuff and DDs and go halves on most stuff unless it's widely out of my budget

And he earns over double what you do and by the sound of your post you're happy with this set up? Yikes! God forbid!

Minorissue · 16/12/2021 16:35

Meet them at work or on the same degree course where you also strive for the same salary so you don’t have to be dependent on them …

ShirleyPhallus · 16/12/2021 16:36

@TheSpanishApartment

I keep reading about the coding nerds being on megabucks. My husband is a coding nerd and on nowhere near £100k. Where can he find these £100k+ jobs?! I suspect they are in the city. Same with the big earning accountants, lawyers etc. I know a lot of accountants and only know two who are on 6 figures. Depends what route you take.
Honestly there is so much shite being spouted on here from people nowhere near that salary that I’d discount about 80% of the advice on this thread
Minorissue · 16/12/2021 16:36

(What @Staffy1 said in much simpler terms!)

KimmyKimdoo · 16/12/2021 16:36

I earn well, (not as well as that but circa 65k) and so I know a lot of people who earn similar. Maybe try earning well yourself so that you extend your network of people who earn well naturally. However, I wouldn’t want to date any of the men I work with and am over the moon that I met my DH many years ago at uni. He doesn’t earn as much as me but has a solid career he enjoys and far more importantly, is a fantastic husband that I wouldn’t swap for all the money in the world. I wouldn’t be half the professional, wife, mother or person for that matter, that I am if it wasn’t for his incredible, supportive and loving self. Money is all well and good but it doesn’t make a husband.

forinborin · 16/12/2021 16:37

@MarshmallowSwede

Unpopular opinion.. but if a man earns 100k then no gold digger is looking at him. That’s not the sort of cash gold diggers go after. I wish women would stop acting like any man who ears a high salary should be worried about good diggers… a Man who earns 100k doesn’t have any gold to dig. Stop it. You sound ridiculous.

Unless a man has several million in his account that he can access then the words gold digger shouldn’t even come out of his mouth.

Women are our own worst enemy.. men are on the streets acting like they have riches beyond with a very normal salary. I work in tech and I’m a high earner, so a man earning 100k who had the audacity to let gold digger pass his lips I would laugh at. I hate that whenever a woman is asking about a man who earns money then here come other women to shame her.

I can suggest looking at tech networking events. A 100k salary is normal for tech professionals (software engineers, consultants etc)…. But that salary doesn’t warrant anyone calling anyone a gold digger.

I would suggest business conferences as good places to meet someone as well.

I met my husband at the supermarket, completely removed from any sign and signifier that he was a high earner. So you can meet a nice man any place.

I think you are right. £100K as a sole male breadwinner would buy your family now maximum a two bed flat in a questionable area of Greater London. Similarly, a woman on £100K likely won't be able to support herself and two children (taken as average number) independently from birth given the cost of childcare.

It is hardly gold-digger territory.