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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask where you meet professional men?

542 replies

InsideMyBed · 16/12/2021 14:25

To people that have professional dh with high earning careers (over 100k salary Shock).

Where did you meet them and how did you get together?

Wondering because apart from consultant doctors and dentists that I interact with in clinical settings only, I don’t think I ever come across men who earn over 100k salary.

I feel like most people I know earn £18,000 - £55,000 at the most. I’m sure a few might be on £60k but £100,000 a year Shock. That seems like so much money to me. I’m a university graduate and most jobs in my industry pay between £25,000 - £35,000 a year.

Where do you meet men who earn over £100k a year? Apart from doctors, dentists and barristers. I’m a bit jealous I will admit because these are the kinds of men I don’t even have access to much less share my life with one! BlushShock

OP posts:
forinborin · 16/12/2021 16:06

Assuming it is a genuine question. If time is on your side (as in, you are early-mid 20s), OP, I'd recommend maybe this.

Go to one of expensive coding / data science bootcamps (the multi-day ones, with social and recruiting events attached to it) once they are back offline, it will be full of eligible men not quite on six-digits, but on the trajectory to make it in a very few years. Look pretty and polished but not slutty, play the damsel in distress card a bit - ask for advice etc. Your dance card will be full.

Even if you fail to find a partner there, you can maybe turn it into a six-digit career yourself.

deathofastrawberry · 16/12/2021 16:06

I met my DH in a casual nightclub through friends when we were 18 & 19, we both worked in crappy retail jobs on minimum wage, neither of us really had any career goals at the time. We both quit our jobs and went travelling and when we came back DH set up his own online business so that we could live anywhere we want. Now 9 years later we're married, have a house and a baby so we've come a long way since then Smile I don't know if this is helpful as he wasn't earning that much when I met him Grin

bubblesbubbles11 · 16/12/2021 16:07

has anyone ever used the term "gold digger" in a conversation they were having with you OP?

FreedomDrops · 16/12/2021 16:07

On occasions we've been to higher-end ski resorts (Verbier for example) there have often been small groups of single male friends who were in highly paid work (£100k plusShock). It's quite a good way to meet. They invariably live in London though. OP where do you live? It is much more unusual to find people outside London on £100k plus Shock

Blake1981 · 16/12/2021 16:08

@InsideMyBed 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

MrsBobDylan · 16/12/2021 16:08

I feel like you want someone to say the name of a website which is set up for young women looking to 'date' older, rich men?

Are you doing this for a dare?

Are you really 13 and currently hanging out with your bff?

Gonnagetgoing · 16/12/2021 16:09

@forinborin

Assuming it is a genuine question. If time is on your side (as in, you are early-mid 20s), OP, I'd recommend maybe this.

Go to one of expensive coding / data science bootcamps (the multi-day ones, with social and recruiting events attached to it) once they are back offline, it will be full of eligible men not quite on six-digits, but on the trajectory to make it in a very few years. Look pretty and polished but not slutty, play the damsel in distress card a bit - ask for advice etc. Your dance card will be full.

Even if you fail to find a partner there, you can maybe turn it into a six-digit career yourself.

I'd actually say it's easier if you're more of a plain Jane. Have heard a few men say they're less likely to cheat so best off marrying them!
MaisyMary77 · 16/12/2021 16:09

Blind date. Almost 30 years ago. He wasn’t a high earner then! He works in IT.

Nothereforyourentertainment · 16/12/2021 16:09

My partner earns 100k + bonuses and I met him when we both worked together in a high street clothing shop. We have been together 11 years and I liked him on minimum wage I like him now.

Money shouldn't be a deciding factor on liking somebody...

Pawprintpaper · 16/12/2021 16:10

Hmm, I think if you’re looking for single men that age, there’s a fair chance that they will either have some kind of baggage (messy divorce etc) or are commitmentphobes or workaholics. That’s before there’s any consideration about chemistry or compatibility between you. Also, with that age gap, there’s a chance they will become grumpy and middle aged while you’re still in your 30s.

(Thinking about Carrie Symonds)

Maybe go back to basics, work on your own career and try to see the person not the salary.

BarbedButterfly · 16/12/2021 16:10

My partner may end up making that much in his cyber security networking jobs once he gets his CCIE certification. But I met him on a gaming server when he was a student.

AtomHeartMotherOfGod · 16/12/2021 16:10

At work. I was a professional too... not earning £100k+ as I wasn't management, but I married a director of another team in Finance.

Loads of relationships start at work.

SBlonde · 16/12/2021 16:10

I met mine on tinder in London. Big cities are better to meet singles. I was a student when we met and he was working . He wasn’t on 100k back then but earned near enough (I only found out later exact earnings obviously). I guess if you’re dating you’ll pick up whether they earn decent by the dates you go on , activities you do together , whether they own a property, what hobbies they have? Like many said it’s hard to tell sometimes, not everyone dresses flash etc.

I finished a very good uni course but then went into being self employed which didn’t make me a high earner but gave me freedom to do what I enjoy, travel often together and work from home.
Over 6 years together his salary has increased many times and I’m now a SAHM to 2 toddlers, which I love.

It’s not always a fact that high earning people stick together. Sometimes circumstances change or someone doesn’t progress as much at work, especially after children. as one poster said she’s happy with her lower earning husband there must be many cases happy the other way round.

Hope you find the right person for you on a good salary!

WandaVision2 · 16/12/2021 16:10

How about you work on putting yourself in a position to earn 100k+

Gonnagetgoing · 16/12/2021 16:11

@FreedomDrops

On occasions we've been to higher-end ski resorts (Verbier for example) there have often been small groups of single male friends who were in highly paid work (£100k plusShock). It's quite a good way to meet. They invariably live in London though. OP where do you live? It is much more unusual to find people outside London on £100k plus Shock
@FreedomDrops - commuter belt land - certain parts of Surrey - Dorking etc and Claygate plus naice Essex villages are packed with bankers on £100K plus. Look for good train lines straight into either Liverpool Street or Waterloo for Waterloo and City lines.
IntermittentParps · 16/12/2021 16:11

Well, it's a tricky one. DP earlier in our relationship worked in investment banking and earned very well. Now he's a community artist and doesn't even earn minimum wage. Maybe I should ditch him?

Badbadbunny · 16/12/2021 16:12

@Kisskiss

There’s probably more in London
I agree. Most high paying jobs are in and around London. Out in the regions, it's mostly the likes of doctors & dentists who'll be on that money as there are very few professionals earning mega bucks outside the capital area.
Bouncebacker · 16/12/2021 16:12

I just got hideously drunk at a friends party and shagged her unemployed brother cause he was lovely and hot - now been married for ages and he earns over £100k…

minipie · 16/12/2021 16:12

Gonnagetgoing true but they are married with kids by the time they move to those places Grin

LondonLife3 · 16/12/2021 16:13

Grin I work in IT and that’s have I met DP, he does earn less than me tho slightly

SpongeBobJudgeyPants · 16/12/2021 16:14

@PenCreed

The people I know with high earning spouses met them at church - one of the big central London ones. Some of those guys are great but some of them were obnoxious (thankfully not the ones who've married friends, more the wider group).

Focus on the person, not the paycheque.

This. The first MrSponge earned pretty well, had a proffesional job with post grad qualifications, and I was very pleased that we had both been to university. As my Dsis pointed out, I was very fixated on any partner being intelligent, even when they were ars*holes. MrSponge the first was abusive, and violent. The current Mr Sponge does not earn lots, though he does work. He is also not degree educated, but has much more common sense than me. Reader, I luffs him, and we are vair happy, most of the time .
imthenextinline · 16/12/2021 16:15

DH falls into this category, he works in IT in the city (but from our home office since covid).

We both earned about £20k working in the public sector when we met. At one point I earned more than him. When we had DC we both earned the same.

My salary has tanked since due to going part time where DH has had better job after better job.

Vursayles · 16/12/2021 16:15

This can’t be for real 😂 Best of luck with this, I don’t see it ending well.

imthenextinline · 16/12/2021 16:15

@imthenextinline

DH falls into this category, he works in IT in the city (but from our home office since covid).

We both earned about £20k working in the public sector when we met. At one point I earned more than him. When we had DC we both earned the same.

My salary has tanked since due to going part time where DH has had better job after better job.

We're early 40s.
imthenextinline · 16/12/2021 16:15

Sorry I didn't clarify but we met at work in the public sector.

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