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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask where you meet professional men?

542 replies

InsideMyBed · 16/12/2021 14:25

To people that have professional dh with high earning careers (over 100k salary Shock).

Where did you meet them and how did you get together?

Wondering because apart from consultant doctors and dentists that I interact with in clinical settings only, I don’t think I ever come across men who earn over 100k salary.

I feel like most people I know earn £18,000 - £55,000 at the most. I’m sure a few might be on £60k but £100,000 a year Shock. That seems like so much money to me. I’m a university graduate and most jobs in my industry pay between £25,000 - £35,000 a year.

Where do you meet men who earn over £100k a year? Apart from doctors, dentists and barristers. I’m a bit jealous I will admit because these are the kinds of men I don’t even have access to much less share my life with one! BlushShock

OP posts:
tara66 · 16/12/2021 15:51

Financial sector - banking, investment management, edge fund management etc.

GiltEdges · 16/12/2021 15:52

@BeyondOurReef

My husband earns over £100k working in IT. The high salary does not make him any easier to live with. 🤷🏻‍♀️
Same. 100%
BabyOnBoard90 · 16/12/2021 15:52

@InsideMyBed

To people that have professional dh with high earning careers (over 100k salary Shock).

Where did you meet them and how did you get together?

Wondering because apart from consultant doctors and dentists that I interact with in clinical settings only, I don’t think I ever come across men who earn over 100k salary.

I feel like most people I know earn £18,000 - £55,000 at the most. I’m sure a few might be on £60k but £100,000 a year Shock. That seems like so much money to me. I’m a university graduate and most jobs in my industry pay between £25,000 - £35,000 a year.

Where do you meet men who earn over £100k a year? Apart from doctors, dentists and barristers. I’m a bit jealous I will admit because these are the kinds of men I don’t even have access to much less share my life with one! BlushShock

I was about to ask how much do YOU earn? And also, what percentage of men / people do you think earn over £100K a year?
tara66 · 16/12/2021 15:52

Thank should be ''Hedge fund management'.

NotAnotherAlias · 16/12/2021 15:54

At university, but he wasn’t earning over £100K at the time! I also earn over £100K (although obviously wasn’t doing so when he met me).

Income isn’t something I’ve ever worried about when finding a partner, but I do tend to go for intelligent guys who do interesting work they enjoy. I regularly interact with men from a STEM background and they all tend to have good, stable incomes.

Notonthenewrug · 16/12/2021 15:55

Haha what an odd question. Are you specifically after a man who earns over 100k?
My partner is a Doctor and we met on Tinder. Not earning over 100k at present as he has reduced his hours.

GiltEdges · 16/12/2021 15:55

I met DH at Uni. After graduation he went into the army for 6 years and wasn't particularly high earning, but then left and went into a job in Information Security. His earning potential has basically snowballed from there with very little active effort on his part, though I guess he mist be fairly good at what he does.

Notonthenewrug · 16/12/2021 15:55

I wouldn't date a man based on salary. However I do find intelligence very attractive.

Pawprintpaper · 16/12/2021 15:58

@PinkTonic

Surely most meet either at university or in the early career stage and although you aren’t high earners at that stage you know what your life goals are and that they align. It’s obviously going to be more difficult to meet people with a different social circle or on a different trajectory if you’ve already settled in a low paid job. The answer there is to focus on your own career path and development.
Definitely this. How old are you OP? Are you in the market for someone 20 years in to their career?
NotAnotherAlias · 16/12/2021 15:58

@InsideMyBed Regarding doctors who give fake jobs, it’s usually because they don’t want to hear a diatribe about how rubbish the NHS is or get stuck reviewing your rash on an evening out.

MissConductUS · 16/12/2021 15:59

Ah, I see. So, IT?

It's an option. My DH works in IT and makes well over 100k. It's very steady work too.

ArabellaScott · 16/12/2021 15:59

Call your local drugdealer, ask to speak to his boss.

HolidayTime2021 · 16/12/2021 15:59

@CharSiu

1% of the population earn 100k or over, its pretty tiny. We know two and they both happen to be men and both in London in the city, one is lovely and the other is the very devil himself. DH met them whilst they all studied at Cambridge. One is married and the other isn’t and the reason he isn’t is he is genuinely worried a woman may be after him because of his salary, so he certainly has relationships but no marriage ever and he is approaching late forties now.
How do you know what your friends earn?

Genuine question.

TorySteller · 16/12/2021 16:01

I met DH at work. He works in web development. He earns slightly more than me (the gap is closing as I progress further in my career).

At the moment we already bring home around £100k a year between us. But he’s about to interview for a job paying £90-100k.

Of course it’s nice to be financially secure, but I’d love the bones of him regardless of what he earned. When I met him he was on £28k.

Original poster
InsideMyBed · 16/12/2021 16:01

@Pawprintpaper I’m in my 20s and I’m looking for someone age 35+ years old. I don’t really like men in their twenties and I don’t get along with them so they often don’t like me either.

OP posts:
Gonnagetgoing · 16/12/2021 16:02

This is so shallow...

Anyway. At work mostly... or where lots of rich bankers hang out but lots tend to go home by 5pm or earlier as they're up at stupid o'clock to get to their desks. If you can gain entry into Soho House or other private members houses then lots will be there - anything from property developers, media types etc.

Would agree that lawyers/accountants move in same circles and meet at work but not a bad idea to hang out in areas where they work and their bars. @WellTidy - yes lawyers/accountants do tend to date themselves but I've also known a few also dating their PAs/secretaries - I was set up a few times but found the accountants very tedious and ditto the lawyers.

You could join a swanky health club and meet them there but be warned - lots of high class hookers do exactly the same and the men may well think you are one too.

Original poster
InsideMyBed · 16/12/2021 16:02

[quote NotAnotherAlias]@InsideMyBed Regarding doctors who give fake jobs, it’s usually because they don’t want to hear a diatribe about how rubbish the NHS is or get stuck reviewing your rash on an evening out.[/quote]
Oh right, I see

OP posts:
Aloha7373 · 16/12/2021 16:03

Honestly? I think it helps to match what you’re looking for, or at least get into an industry/company where you’re exposed to high earning colleagues day to day.

I met my husband because I entered the same industry at the same level. Have met hundreds of men on his salary but I’m with him in particular because I genuinely love him!

Goldbar · 16/12/2021 16:03

From my experience...

Family/school friends or friends of siblings
At university
At work
Group holidays when at university/early career
Certain hobbies
Walking the dog (in certain London parks)

Aprilx · 16/12/2021 16:03

I have met loads of men earning £100k. I mean “met” in the literal sense, as in I have become acquainted with them. I have met them through work as I am in a well paid profession in a well paid sector.

I met now DH on holiday. He was unemployed at the time and shortly afterwards earning about £25k, compared to my £100k. Over the years since he has progressed in his career and now is in £100k+ roles.

Flockameanie · 16/12/2021 16:04

It can go the other way, you know!

When I met DH a million years ago I'd guess he was on 6 figures (I think). Definitely if you allow for inflation. His salary has progressively gone down in the 20+ years we've been together, while mine has gone up*. So just because you catch yourself a rich one, doesn't mean it'll stay that way.

  • not because he's a wastrel, I'd like to add! But because when we had DC we earnt exactly the same and I'm more career driven. So he took a step-back from work to be the primary carer for our kids, while I carried on working FT.
Gonnagetgoing · 16/12/2021 16:04

I actually met a lot of men (didn't really like them so wasn't an issue) when I worked as receptionist/PA for a high street solicitors - most owned their own business and earned a quite decent amount of money or were starting and due to go on to earn very well (one now is a partner in a chain of estate agents). I don't think I wanted to date clients and went for a few drinks with some but my boss didn't mind at all and the other PA (married) encouraged it!

MrsBobDylan · 16/12/2021 16:04

Money comes and go but true love never dies.

ChargingBuck · 16/12/2021 16:05

You could join a swanky health club and meet them there but be warned - lots of high class hookers do exactly the same and the men may well think you are one too.

Well ...

Sizing a man up purely for the contents of his wallet, for which you are prepared to grant a 'relationship' (ie sex) ...

OP you still haven't responded to the several PP's who are interested in why you are not chasing your own £100k career.

Gonnagetgoing · 16/12/2021 16:06

My DSis (shouldn't call her D as I hate her) - met her DH who has his own very successful company on holiday in Portugal. He earns enough to keep her in designer everything, living in Brentwood and she's a SAHW/M and has been for years.