To ask where you meet professional men?

[InsideMyBed]

To people that have professional dh with high earning careers (over 100k salary ).

Where did you meet them and how did you get together?

Wondering because apart from consultant doctors and dentists that I interact with in clinical settings only, I don’t think I ever come across men who earn over 100k salary.

I feel like most people I know earn £18,000 - £55,000 at the most. I’m sure a few might be on £60k but £100,000 a year . That seems like so much money to me. I’m a university graduate and most jobs in my industry pay between £25,000 - £35,000 a year.

Where do you meet men who earn over £100k a year? Apart from doctors, dentists and barristers. I’m a bit jealous I will admit because these are the kinds of men I don’t even have access to much less share my life with one!

I don't really think about it at the time, but most of my friends were students or had graduated. So when I met DH we both had the potential to be high earners. He earns more than me, but we both work full time and work as a good partnership. It was never about the money, and we support each other in many ways, not just financially.

If you think that marrying rich is what you want in life, either also be a high earning career person, or make sure that you look stunning, and head for the nearest nightclub where young footballers hang out.

When I was in my 20s the only people I knew who were probably earning £100k were lawyers and management consultants (I don't know for certain because I don't know how much my friends earn). They worked insanely hard and we barely saw them.

Now I'm in my late 30s the people I know who are likely to earn that much are lawyers, management consultants, head teachers, successful business executives or senior doctors. They work hard and are usually married to people in similar fields who earn at a similar level (look up 'assortative mating'). Nearly all are London based.

Nearly everyone I know was married or in their settled long term relationship by the time they were 30. If you want a 35+ high earner, chances are he's either single for good reason or he's divorced and that £100k won't go as far as you think if there's child support to pay.

Living in London and socialising with people of a similar income bracket and professional level to me / friends of friends. You can probably work it out via job type and degree level on a dating app if you really want to. But the majority of people I know who earn around 100K and work in professional jobs date people who also earn between 50-100k dependent on age, and who also have professional jobs. I think meeting someone that well paid outside of London and them wanting to take care of a partner who earns much less is a bit of a myth.

@Thecatinhishat

Hi Op a high earning man here, my wife just passed me her phone to reply.

Guess what, I always lied about my income. Just so I avoided women like you!

Perfect. What are you doing to increase your earnings op apart from golddigging. Jesus Christ Janet times moved on from that shit.

My friend works in IT and has done for about 10 years. He's on over 100K and we live in South West London (he works in Waterloo). His savings are mind blowing and he's only 30 odd! He's single and all his friends earn a similar amount too. He's a family friend so I don't know where you'd meet someone like him. He looks like a regular Joe so not like you'd be able to single him out in a bar knowing what he ears if you get what I mean!

@EightWheelGirl

My, BIL earns well over £100k. He met my sister at uni. He spends at least 2-3 nights a week away meaning she has to look after the three kids. He's also pretty stressed and has to be on call even at Xmas, although that's never actually happened.

They're happy but I often think they might be happier if he was in a good but not quite as stressful job.

I didn’t meet anyone at university but now I see that I should have tried harder. How did some women manage to meet someone at university but others don’t . I went in by myself and came out by myself . Maybe I’m just ugly tbh

Strip club?!

In the South East commuter belt it wasn’t very difficult: conservation work, walking club, IVC if it’s still going.

@BeyondOurReef

Ok but where did you meet him? At work? Through friends? How did you start dating him?

Online dating. Alas.

I met my chap online too.

[quote XelaM]@InsideMyBed Well, ai don't know about all IT guys, but definitely those that are good at coding. But my brother is Cambridge/Harvard-educated, so maybe that has something to do with his salary prospects as well[/quote]
good to know …

It shocks me that there are women who think like the op

I don’t live far from London. I could go there for some Christmas shopping fsmile, check out the local restaurants, the pubs...

If you couldn't have worked that much out for yourself, how long do you think any relationship with a professional man would be likely to last?

@bratzybaby Yep, IT guys are on huge starting salaries even when really young. In fact, the younger the better for many IT jobs

At work (I work in IT for a financial company)

I know lots of men (through work) who earn over £100k. I wouldn’t want to be married to any of them, especially the way some of them talk about their wives.

Luckily I also earn the same as them, so am happy with my DH who has always earned less than me.

Make you’re own way, OP, being beholden to someone else’s money is a recipe for misery.

I had no idea what he did or how much he earned when I met him, obviously. We had a great first date, really made each other laugh, and we both love cats. Money isn't important, OP, having the same values is.

But jokes aside I don't think wanting to be with a financially solvent man renders someone a gold digger.

I was going to comment something similar. I don't think this makes you a gold digger at all. Some people have a preference of dating/wanting to be with someone who earns a good salary (around 40/50K). Some people have a preference of wanting to date people who already have mortgages or nice cars. I don't think there's anything wrong with having a preference of the sort of salary you'd want someone to be on🤷‍♀️

Beginning to think this is a wind up tbh.

Professional, educated men tend to prefer professional, educated women.
Some do and they tend to be the ones who are most understanding of their wife's career.

Then there's another sort who is fine with someone earning less, because he views her as less than him and so no problem with her picking up all the slack of childcare and household tasks (including hiring staff if any employee) that he leaves from doing none of it.

Most of these guys work crazy hours and rarely get proper holidays (away from phone/email for more than a couple of days). Yes it looks glamorous and a nice life but from what I've seen, people are FAR happier when their incomes are matched to something above what their outgoings and needs are. People who can get proper holidays (as in time off, location can be anywhere) to enjoy each other's company and spend time as a family together have a better quality of life than those who drive 4x4s, have nice clothes and exotic holidays. All those things are great, but they can all be bought.

I'm married to one of those guys who seemed really nice and a high earner. I'm also one of the many women who has been treated as less then because my job isn't worth (financially) as much as his - I've seen this many many times. I've got an investment banker friend who thinks his wife's job pays pittance and she's therefore not as important as him: she's a top doctor. My brother is also a high earner by your reckoning and he's very careful about the women he goes out with due to meeting a few women who basically did what you're doing. He now hides his income/net worth so he is not attractive to women looking for a rich man.

I really don't think that going to London and walking around looking for a high earner to date is going to work OP. You need to get on the apps if this is what you really want, but honestly you'd be better off looking at how you could up your own salary. My partner isn't far off 100K but living in London, between two of us, we wouldn't have a very glamorous life if we lived entirely on that.

Do you get men to bring their pay slips to the first date or do you try to means test before you get to that point?

@Ridingthegravytrain

Strip club?!

Lol No thanks, I don’t think so!

This is a wind up post, surely?

I met my DH at an industry party. We're both highly educated professionals but my career took a back seat while our kids were little. Now they're
older he's thinking of winding down a bit and I'll ramp up. In our social circle (private schools) all the sahm had high flying careers and then either downshifted or took a break. But there really aren't many sahm at all now kids are in secondary.

You need to get a better job yourself!

[quote XelaM]@bratzybaby Yep, IT guys are on huge starting salaries even when really young. In fact, the younger the better for many IT jobs[/quote]
@XelaM they really are! My friend's job sounds so dull and complex no wonder they get paid so much tbh

DH is a software engineer and earns a very good salary, way more than me (nurse). We met at uni, 20 years ago when we were both doing something completely different.