To ask where you meet professional men?

[InsideMyBed]

To people that have professional dh with high earning careers (over 100k salary ).

Where did you meet them and how did you get together?

Wondering because apart from consultant doctors and dentists that I interact with in clinical settings only, I don’t think I ever come across men who earn over 100k salary.

I feel like most people I know earn £18,000 - £55,000 at the most. I’m sure a few might be on £60k but £100,000 a year . That seems like so much money to me. I’m a university graduate and most jobs in my industry pay between £25,000 - £35,000 a year.

Where do you meet men who earn over £100k a year? Apart from doctors, dentists and barristers. I’m a bit jealous I will admit because these are the kinds of men I don’t even have access to much less share my life with one!

(example topics would be machine learning, computer vision, cloudd security)

During my time online dating I dated a surgeon and a pro sportsman who both earned at least that. They were both bellends. Then I met my now husband. He works in sales, I have been both the highest and only wage-earner in our relationship. Now with his commission he earns at least 4 times my fairly decent salary.

Get some self-respect and earn it yourself.

I've met several men on OLD who earn over £100k. To be honest - I couldn't care less and insist on paying my own way (I'm quite a bit older than you). I can see now why they are so wary of some women on OLD. OP people like you give women a bad name.

Op I hate to break it to you but very wealthy professional men will be seeking ladies who are similar so you're best hope of being with someone wealthy and successful is to be wealthy and successful yourself .

Hi OP. Most if the men (boys) I knew at uni are now in that demographic. But it takes a few years.

You know, when my husband used to work in the city, there were women who used to just show up in the bars around there at lunch times and / or from about 6pm onwards. It was a well-known phenomenon then - maybe it still is? They would come in pairs and just sit there waiting to be bought drinks. Very common and tended to work, by and large. If you are serious and not that fussy, you could give it a go? Men of 35+ will probably be delighted. Dint entertain married ones though and don’t do anything that’s not on your own terms. Never get manipulated. You will likely hear a lot of bollocks, frankly.

Do you live in a very rural place? How do you know nobody earns over £100k? Are you sure?

Other areas to try could be some bars around Chelsea / Kensington / Knightsbridge etc. Just sit there. Be careful though, obviously.

In my case, I walked into a bar near Covent Garden after having been dragged out by two girlfriends. I saw the back of his head, that’s all, but I knew I would be getting to know him. He came over, we got talking - he asked if he could take me for dinner the next day. Engaged in three months. That was 20 years ago. Bur I always had a very specific type in terms of looks and behaviour / manners and he was it. I never did a scatter-gun approach to dating.

There's not much reassessing priorities when your 100K job is £5K / month net, but childcare costs are £3K (the cheapest local nursery for two) and rent is £1K (one bed flat). It is basic arithmetic, not a question of priorities.

Gosh, @forinborin
How DO all the plebs earning less than £100k manage?

Financial security has a lot to be said for it, those saying go earn it yourself, it may not be realistic for the OP to do that. You generally need education, opportunities, confidence and ability.

The OP doesn't need to earn 100k though, she could aim for 50k & marry someone on 50k & they would bring home more than one earner on 100k, 6.2k vs 5.5k

@ChargingBuck

There's not much reassessing priorities when your 100K job is £5K / month net, but childcare costs are £3K (the cheapest local nursery for two) and rent is £1K (one bed flat). It is basic arithmetic, not a question of priorities.

Gosh, @forinborin
How DO all the plebs earning less than £100k manage?

I never said anything about plebs. Presumably managing by taking a much lower paid and shorter hours jobs, getting 85% childcare subsidy and so on.

@Crazycrazylady

Op I hate to break it to you but very wealthy professional men will be seeking ladies who are similar so you're best hope of being with someone wealthy and successful is to be wealthy and successful yourself .

I think this is true. What are you bringing to the table? Professional, educated people often want to meet other people that are ambitious, intelligent and hard working. You sound ambitious (in a way)....maybe work on the other two.

I've heard that bar on top of the OXO Tower in London is good for picking up rich men.

I don't have DDs, but it makes me sad to hear a young woman aspiring to marry a man based solely on his earnings!! Set yourself the aspiration to earn more yourself.

DH and I met at uni. We're equally matched in terms of careers/earnings.

Pre-Covid, the bars around our offices would have been prime hunting ground, but if you don't work in The City yourself (banking/law/consulting), it would be strange for you to frequent the area. Gold diggers a) stand out a mile and b) are for casual encounters, not marriage.

I met DH in a pub. At the time he earned less than me but I could see he had potential. He doesn't earn over 100K... yet. I'm playing the long game. Meanwhile he's kind and funny, so prepared to be patient.

Most high earners I know met their spouse at uni.

Presumably managing by taking a much lower paid and shorter hours jobs, getting 85% childcare subsidy and so on.

There you go. Priorities, @forinborin.
Well done. Nobody is getting a tiny violin out for people who choose to pursue highly paid jobs at the expense of their home lives. It's entirely their choice.

@ChargingBuck

Presumably managing by taking a much lower paid and shorter hours jobs, getting 85% childcare subsidy and so on.

There you go. Priorities, @forinborin.
Well done. Nobody is getting a tiny violin out for people who choose to pursue highly paid jobs at the expense of their home lives. It's entirely their choice.

I was just disputing a factual statement that a woman on 100K does not need any man's money. With what you said above, I agree.

I haven't read the whole thread but....

Try hanging around the ready meal aisle of Waitrose between 7-9pm.

Preferably in an affluent area or close the City.

Just saying!

I'm not buying it that rich men always want an equal. Plenty seem to want an attractive bimbo too.

Professional, educated men tend to prefer professional, educated women

This usually if men are looking for a life partner. I was a barmaid when I met my husband. He was an accountant. I'm now a partner in a city law firm. He knew I had a good education and lots of ambition and he was right!

I'm not buying it that rich men always want an equal. Plenty want an attractive bimbo

Yes there are men like this. But they don't want a life partner, they see it as buying/ hiring a commodity. Do you really want a man who thinks of women like that? Yeuch!

I'm astounded we are 4 pages in and people are still advising the OP on what to do.

This is so obviously a load of utter bollocks.
IF the OP is a graduate at all her degree must be in bullshitting.

This thread is both embarrassing and depressing.

Agree that you either need to be ambitious, intelligent and successful or very attractive with a captivating personality to seriously date a wealthier man.

I'm always a bit wary when people say that they don't get on with a particular age group, as if everyone in their age group is a clone of one another. Perhaps you're not that interesting to be around? Maybe work on your personal growth and career and everything else will fall into place...

OP seriously...be your own person and earn your own life 😂 I'm a lone parent on £23k in my early 30's

I've dated policemen, carpenters, squaddies, barristers, Dr's, millionaire property tycoons, premiership footballers. I broke it off each time because they bored me eventually/fizzled out/ one kept trying to buy me things (and I don't like that, I'm not a charity case)

They were all nice men, nothing wrong with them, met them on online dating and 2 were set up by a friend.

Men are like dessert, and I love dessert don't get me wrong, but you don't need dessert every day. Men are not a necessity for living.

£100k is taxed at 40% so that’s only £60k which, although a good salary, won’t go far in London.

OP, you seem to be looking for an older “established” man (relative to you) who will “look after” you financially. This £60k or thereabouts will not be enough in the London area. You would still need to work if he earns that, just to get into the property market and there would be few “luxuries.”

My husband and I met at uni. Both started out on graduate programmes earning £12k in the mid 90s. I was on just shy of 6 figures by the time I left to have my 4th child...my husband is now earning significantly more than 100k, although we are now in a worse tax position than say two people earning £80k each....

I love him just as much now as I did when we were both penniless students!

100k is a great salary but doesn’t go that far in terms of a luxurious lifestyle. For happiness and a lasting relationship you need compatibility so if you have no knowledge or understanding of a way of life then look for one that you do understand.

Loads of industries earn well particularly the ones no one else wants to do. I unfortunately had to have pest control in this week- he earns well, trust me!

At university, and we both earn the same.

I know a group of high-earning professional men who usually end up married to women who are not well paid professionals. Airline pilots. A very high proportion of them are, unsurprisingly, married to women who work (or worked) as cabin crew.

The reasons are obvious : from the pilot’s point of view, the cabin crew are young, attractive, single and available. From the CC’s perspective, the pilots are well paid, high status and available. (The downside is that the they can be nerdy) This is going to sound sexist, but for young, friendly, good looking pilots, it’s basically a buffet.