To ask where you meet professional men?

[InsideMyBed]

To people that have professional dh with high earning careers (over 100k salary ).

Where did you meet them and how did you get together?

Wondering because apart from consultant doctors and dentists that I interact with in clinical settings only, I don’t think I ever come across men who earn over 100k salary.

I feel like most people I know earn £18,000 - £55,000 at the most. I’m sure a few might be on £60k but £100,000 a year . That seems like so much money to me. I’m a university graduate and most jobs in my industry pay between £25,000 - £35,000 a year.

Where do you meet men who earn over £100k a year? Apart from doctors, dentists and barristers. I’m a bit jealous I will admit because these are the kinds of men I don’t even have access to much less share my life with one!

Not that I've met that many (and God knows, none of my partners have been wealthy but then I'd not be happy if I wasn't able to support myself and I'm happier with a partner who earns about the same as me), but....

• Through friends (though obviously you have to have the "right kind" of friends in the first place, obviously....
• At nightclasses and clubs (when they used to be allowed to happen - one friend met her partner at a photography club, a hobby which tends to have more men than women participating in my experience) and another friend met her partner through a sort of supper club type thing (they did other social events as well, it's just
• Through dedicated matchmaking agencies
• At high end wine bars (when they were operating) - you need to hang around the ones that people from the financial district frequent, or alternatively, if you're somewhere more rural, popular with senior military types
• By joining a high-end discreet country club with an annual subscription
• By reading magazines like Tatler etc or the Rich List or keeping an eye on what's happening in the tech world and working out where those eligible bachelors hang out and then "just happening" to encounter them

If money is your motivation, money is your motivation.

@BeyondOurReef

My husband earns over £100k working in IT. The high salary does not make him any easier to live with. 🤷🏻‍♀️

😂😂

@forinborin but that's not really the point of this thread right. OP is saying she wants to marry someone earning over 100k for the options it gives, but what we are trying to say is that 100k in London could just be paying the mortgage on an average flat + childcare fees. A lot luckier than a lot of Londoners for sure but why bother to marry for money when all you get is that.

Agree with PP who said one must distinguish between wealth and income.

Interesting. Are there actually male golddiggers (as in a class of them, not occasional chancers)? Not in the traditional "cocklodger" sense (where a man still is interested in the woman as a woman in the beginning, just gets sloppy / irresponsible later as she's picking up more than her fair share and he gets used to it), but someone who targets good earning women?

I’ve certainly encountered a good few of them! I no longer do online dating but when I did I learned to be evasive about my job (I’m public sector so once you know what my job is you know what my salary is) and even now in casual conversation with people I’m vague about it.

@ChargingBuck a lot of the 100k jobs are in London and the SE. So if she wanted to snag a 100k man in the north where it will go further, I suggest doctors, dentists and footballers (think big,- that's a few million). Vast majority of higher rate tax payers live in the south according to ONS.

[quote Cocomarine]@forinborin so when your rent was £1K and your income £5K net, would you not have saved a wee bit in advance for childcare costs? I know I did 🤷🏻‍♀️[/quote]
I did, and that is exactly why I did not go bankrupt as a result of it. To be fair, I massively underestimated how expensive it would be, so still ended up with some debt. As I said, I am speaking from experience - I did it alone on a similar salary.

Women are also in the difficult position that if they want to have children, they have to do it during the times when they are likely to be still paying off their student debt and - if they are on one of the common career tracks to get to those coveted six-digits - likely to need be putting in ultra long hours and still be on quite average salaries. There are not very many women on 100K before 30 (I am not saying it does not happen, but it is rather rare in my experience - and I am in a highly paid sector).

Are there male gold diggers? YES! I can introduce you to my ex-husband

I met mine at university. When we started working I made double what he did. That continued for the next 20 years or so. And then the motherhood pay gap hit me, and his long term investment in his skills paid off, so soon he was making double what I made. Win-win!!

But I guess the answer to the OP is probably one all about social mobility or the lack of it. It’s easier to marry someone making £100k when you are as well.

My husband earns £400k+ and we met at Oxford. The only two state school educated ones on our course. I earn highly too but you don't sound so keen to find out how you can increase your own salary.

The only person I know with a DH who is a much higher earner than her met him by getting involved in a sporting activity that was more popular with men than women. She's in London & it was a popular team sport with men who work in the City.

[quote onlychildhamster]@forinborin but that's not really the point of this thread right. OP is saying she wants to marry someone earning over 100k for the options it gives, but what we are trying to say is that 100k in London could just be paying the mortgage on an average flat + childcare fees. A lot luckier than a lot of Londoners for sure but why bother to marry for money when all you get is that.

Agree with PP who said one must distinguish between wealth and income.[/quote]
Agree. My point was just in reply to posters who assume that on 100K you would need no man to raise a family. I just said it is difficult, and much more difficult than for a man.

I met my DH through a relative. He was finishing uni and then unemployed for a bit. I was a year behind him at a different uni. 26 years later he earns 200k.
So my answer would be accidentally.

Interesting. Are there actually male golddiggers (as in a class of them, not occasional chancers)? Not in the traditional "cocklodger" sense (where a man still is interested in the woman as a woman in the beginning, just gets sloppy / irresponsible later as she's picking up more than her fair share and he gets used to it), but someone who targets good earning women?

There are probably fewer of the blatant golddiggers, but I have come across quite a few that fall into the "subtle cocklodger" category: ie they are attracted to the woman, initially appreciate the fact that she is independent and can pay her own way in a positive sense etc.

Then over time it slips into defaulting to allow her to pick up the bill when they eat out, allowing her to book holidays etc,, asking to borrow money, ot bothering to clean up after meals when she's cooked, never cooking yourself etc.

Then by the time the woman has woken up to it the pattern is quite entrenched and the man is shocked when called on it.

It's a sort of stealth cocklodgery as opposed to the blatant unemployed bloke on benefits moving himself and his PS4 in within weeks type cocklodgery. I've dodged a few bullets here and I'm definitely alert to it.

Anyone who works in finance of tech. There are loads of them, especially in the city.

Where do you meet men who earn over £100k a year?

Have been working with 5 today on over that. One of them just shy of a million a year. Ok he is the Chief Exec, but he was in the mix.

Would you like their numbers?

VladmirsPoutine
Thecatinhishat

Hi Op a high earning man here, my wife just passed me her phone to reply.

Guess what, I always lied about my income. Just so I avoided women like you!

Why do people do things like this. It's intensely cringe-worthy.

Not really anymore "cringeworthy" than the OP

£100k doesn't go far especially in London. It's a fairly standard professional or senior management wage.

This must be a wind up. No-one is this grasping IRL.

Your 35 year old may only be on 60 or 70 but round the corner from a better wage. Lots of people in their 40s on 6 figures.

Why don't you move into a job which allows you to earn good money. Accountancy, law , IT all good for this.

Also loving the long hours fuelled by coke comment upthread. Sadly no such fun in my earlier career (long hours no coke).

By being a professional woman and earning six figures myself (in fact, I will likely soon outstrip his six figure salary).

Some of its luck, not meeting the men, the salaries. My DH was quite a high earner, I met him online dating. I will admit I ruled out some lovely men based on low salaries. DH now does something averagely paid annoyingly, because it's useful to have more money in the relationship, especially once you have kids and maternity leave. I would say high paid men often work long hours and are very driven so not always great partners / Dads. It will depend as sometimes being senior means you have more flexibility.

OP, these blokes will you coming a mile off

@Toplowlight

The best way to meet high-earning men is to be a high-earning woman.

I am high earning myself, but someone has to patent the kids unless you get a Nanny.

@Ariann
I like your post and it's the reality. You as a partner also have to have something significant to offer if you don't have wealth yourself. Look around you those very wealthy men are not usually paired with the young women on the checkout - I'm not saying there is anything wrong with working at a supermarket but I am not realistically (might dream) expecting to catch the guy on a six figured salary plus bonuses while I am plodding along at my 9-5 average salary and less than average lifestyle. some wealthy men marry women who are not necessarily drop dead beautiful or wealthy but they are very well educated at home and at school so understand the unspoken trade off and even if they then become SAHM they still have their education and experience to get back into good careers after children have grown or have the capabilities to create their own business. I have known a few women like this who all married in their early 30,s and all of them had someone in their younger life who advised them and not always their mothers but quite often their fathers.

I am high earning myself, but someone has to patent the kids unless you get a Nanny.

Kids can be patented?

I meet plenty of men who earn over £100k. I do that by earning over £100k myself in the City.

Focus on your earning potential not theirs.

p.s. DH was a refugee when I met him - we’ve been married over 20 years - guess a high income is not a prerequisite for being a decent husband.

A few of the wealthy men I know have married the supermarket check out girl so to speak. Women who work in a bar or nursery. I don’t know any that have a married a high earning woman.