To ask where you meet professional men?

[InsideMyBed]

To people that have professional dh with high earning careers (over 100k salary ).

Where did you meet them and how did you get together?

Wondering because apart from consultant doctors and dentists that I interact with in clinical settings only, I don’t think I ever come across men who earn over 100k salary.

I feel like most people I know earn £18,000 - £55,000 at the most. I’m sure a few might be on £60k but £100,000 a year . That seems like so much money to me. I’m a university graduate and most jobs in my industry pay between £25,000 - £35,000 a year.

Where do you meet men who earn over £100k a year? Apart from doctors, dentists and barristers. I’m a bit jealous I will admit because these are the kinds of men I don’t even have access to much less share my life with one!

@forinborin, could you give me an example of good versions of those bootcamps, or who runs them? For career-change purposes, not men.

@InsideMyBed

To people that have professional dh with high earning careers (over 100k salary ).

Where did you meet them and how did you get together?

Wondering because apart from consultant doctors and dentists that I interact with in clinical settings only, I don’t think I ever come across men who earn over 100k salary.

I feel like most people I know earn £18,000 - £55,000 at the most. I’m sure a few might be on £60k but £100,000 a year . That seems like so much money to me. I’m a university graduate and most jobs in my industry pay between £25,000 - £35,000 a year.

Where do you meet men who earn over £100k a year? Apart from doctors, dentists and barristers. I’m a bit jealous I will admit because these are the kinds of men I don’t even have access to much less share my life with one!

Really rich people don't have "salaries". If you are looking for a wealthy go-getter, look for someone who has set up his own company.

And by the way, "Professional", unless someone is in the "professions" just means someone gets paid for what they do - nothing more.

If you want to find them, you have to be the kind of woman they want.
You find them at members only championship golf clubs and tennis clubs (not pay to play)

In our case it was DH who met the high earner, completely by chance.

I am a very high earner. When I met DH he was earning next to nothing and sharing a tiny flat with another guy. He had had good work but had fallen on hard times for various reasons. The way he got to meet me was to be invited to a new year party held at his ex-employer's house, I happened to be a close friend of the ex-employer's wife so was at the party.

Really rich people don't have "salaries". If you are looking for a wealthy go-getter, look for someone who has set up his own company.

True dat!

At work and I'd say the vast majority of my friends met their spouses at work too. But women like me did not meet our husbands when they were making that amount. My husband earned £30-£40k when we got together (mid-twenties) 10yrs later he earns 6 figures. But I wasn't a gold-digger looking for a rich man. I was a twenty-something looking for real love.

Put it this way- I don't have a single male friend on a 6 figure salary whose wife doesn't also graft. A few took a decision to be a SAHM, most dropped part-time - but ALL of them started out equal players during the dating years, all of them worked and all of them had career goals.

6 figure guys are typically looking for brains, class, drive, ambition and not someone looking for a free ticket to a life they didn't work or contribute to.

Why would they? Would you?

Not my DH but a family member is on over 100k, works on an oil rig. He and his wife met in a local bar. I can't imagine having that kind of money but for him he aspires for more, some friends are making 250k, crazy. I'd prefer to just be comfortable myself

Drawing Down The Moon dating agency.

@ChargingBuck

Similarly, a woman on £100K likely won't be able to support herself and two children (taken as average number) independently from birth given the cost of childcare.

4 x the 'average' salary won't be enough to raise 2 kids?
Codswallop.

You know there are millions of UK couples earning WAY less than £100k combined, & managing to bring up children while solvent, @forinborin?
Not sure what ivory tower you live in, but it's clearly a long way from the real world.

Couples is a completely different story. And yes, a woman earning £100K in a job will usually pay around £60K of around that (pre-tax) for childcare that backs hours needed for that £100K job. I am speaking from experience. See also the breakdown by @onlychildhamster , it is quite realistic (just add one more child into the picture).

This is a common debate on this threads. For some reason everyone imagines a scenario where a dinner lady suddenly starts earning £100K for her two hours term-time job, and what an amazing life that would be! Not someone who needs childcare covering regular business trips, working hours until midnight and no days off for the children being sick - all more common than not for a six-digit job.

There used to be a book called How To Marry A Millionaire which advised women to go to a very smart bar near the high earning area of their city (financial, business, law or IT district) and then sip one glass of champagne incredibly slowly all night until approached by a man. It advised that you looked classy not brassy and acted like wife material when you met a prospective husband . Seriously, if that's your life goal, you could try it. I'd rather earn my own 100k.

Tbh online playing a video game 15 years ago haha. He is a lawyer and it just happened that way. He wasn't on that when we met but is now. I wouldn't know how to deliberately meet a person earning that, though. Hang out at bars in London around law offices?

I work in IT, as does DH (but very different industries/applications). I'm not really sure the OP is serious in the question, but a few observations based on my personal experience:

• There are many specialized roles with that salary, but it's often a combination of skills plus experience, so it's often people in their late 30s or 40s or 50s. How flexible are you on age?

• There are a lot more women these roles, especially in the more progressive companies. You should be more flexible on gender, if the 100K is so important :)

• In the company I work for, there is a lot of interaction with customers and vendors in the far east. Pre-covid that would have meant several trips per year. Many of the guys I work with have younger Asian wives. Based on what I see, this balance of older European engineer and younger Asian partner typically works very very well for both parties. You are competing in a global market place!

• Many of the engineers I'd work with would be fairly geeky (as I am!). Computer gaming events (like GDC and Gamescom), science fairs, Glastonbury would all be big events.

At church. Does that help?

Where do you meet men who earn over £100k a year? art from doctors, dentists and barristers.

Two I can think of we met at univeristy and worked in IT in London.

Thing is not everyone who works in IT earns these figures - I never got close before had kids and moved away from sector and DH hasn't yet and it unlikely to though his is a decent wage.

I can say they both hated their work and lives and were much happier when the moved out of London - one started PhD back at first univeristy other tried moving abroad same company different office and finally met a lovely women he married and then change jobs.

If DH was more poltical and desperate to get higher up - I supposed he could be earning this at end of his carreer but that's not him or the bit of his job he enjoys and I think maybe some of the peopel who know at end of their working carrers may/ get this high but equally may not.

@forinborin - I agree - the hours need to be factored in. I am self employed and realised once that if I worked the stupid hours my high earning friends worked, I would earn three times what I do. But I choose to work easy hours and take lots of time off during school holidays. No childcare costs, no rush hour commutes and taxis home etc. I save a lot of money by working fewer hours.

@knittingaddict

At church. Does that help?

"Get thee to a nunnery!"

Although I ought to add that I was in my late teens at the time and earning potential was the last thing on my mind.

@ChargingBuck taxes. london Mortgage.

I understand simple sums & household costs @onlychildhamster, no need for your painstaking list of arithmetic.

Are you aware that over 50 million Brits don't live in London?

It's a rookie error to focus on the salary.

If you earn £40k and the object of you're desires earns £120k, he's liable to consider your job to be worth 1/3 of his - even if you are providing hospice care that transforms people's lives and he's doing admin for an international bank.

If you shared a hobby - golf has a big gender imbalance, football season tickets are expensive and you could find yourself sitting next to your new man at every home game - then your value would be as an equal fellow enthusiast.

If all else fails, start a business that can pay you £300k each year, you'll soon have plenty of £100k earners pursuing you.

[quote SparklingLime]@forinborin, could you give me an example of good versions of those bootcamps, or who runs them? For career-change purposes, not men.[/quote]
I absolutely can, but there are none at the moment that seem to be offline. There have been a few good ones last summer (fewer than usual, again due to covid). Le Wagon were quite decent from what I heard (but they cost almost as a uni degree).

But if you are interested in the career more than social / networking side, just do coursera for the study - much cheaper, and then join a couple of socials in the area. Such as databeers (if you are in London).

"Be careful what you wish for. Many such men are married to their work more than their wives, especially once children come along."

I get the impression that the type of person who writes an OP like the OP do not give too much of a shit whether the type of man she is looking for is already married (to a wife or to his job or indeed both)

This thread has been both fascinating and depressing!. Met my DH at uni when we were both very poor students. As others have said, I find intelligence much more attractive than money.

[quote ChargingBuck]**@ChargingBuck taxes. london Mortgage.

I understand simple sums & household costs @onlychildhamster, no need for your painstaking list of arithmetic.

Are you aware that over 50 million Brits don't live in London?[/quote]
But most of £100k jobs will be in London.

Met mine at work. I think the easiest way to meet a high-earning man is to be a high-earning woman.

Mind you, he didn't earn six figures when I met him.

I work in finance and there are lots of men who earn 100k and more as well as women who earn similar amounts.

I guess your occupation has a lot to do with it, we spend so long at work it tends to be where you find partners.

Uni for us - same course, both accountants. Quite a lot of our year are now married to each other and others then met their DH/DW at work so just more accountants marrying accountants.