To ask where you meet professional men?

[InsideMyBed]

To people that have professional dh with high earning careers (over 100k salary ).

Where did you meet them and how did you get together?

Wondering because apart from consultant doctors and dentists that I interact with in clinical settings only, I don’t think I ever come across men who earn over 100k salary.

I feel like most people I know earn £18,000 - £55,000 at the most. I’m sure a few might be on £60k but £100,000 a year . That seems like so much money to me. I’m a university graduate and most jobs in my industry pay between £25,000 - £35,000 a year.

Where do you meet men who earn over £100k a year? Apart from doctors, dentists and barristers. I’m a bit jealous I will admit because these are the kinds of men I don’t even have access to much less share my life with one!

I earn much, much less than £100k

You may not be coming across them in your dating pool because they don't date outside of a particular salary range.

You're thinking that you could do so much more if you were dating someone who earned £100k a year. But that person is possibly thinking the same thing about a potential partner.

Onus is on you to increase your earning power. ¯\(ツ)/¯

I think that's a reasonable question. Don't marry a guy for his money - go where the rich people are, then marry for love.

I know most of those guys as colleagues or from university debating, but I think bars near embassies might be a good guess as to where we meet up. Or close to the City.

Most of my friends with rich husbands met them through work, so earn equally high. I met my DH as a student, so he was broke! Is your goal to just be with a high earner, or pretty sad that money is the first thing you look for in a partner. Do you ask for their payslips before a date?

@VladmirsPoutine

I pay for all my own stuff and DDs and go halves on most stuff unless it's widely out of my budget

And he earns over double what you do and by the sound of your post you're happy with this set up? Yikes! God forbid!

Why god forbid? I voluntarily made this the arrangement between my husband and I. Sure, let your husband treat you to stuff if he earns more and wants to dote on you, but feel entitled to his extra money just because?? And shirk bills/household spending even though you could afford to match his half? Nah.

Oh and I'm no help really as I met dh at uni and we've just gone through our qdult life together.

Id say a tweak to the "earn it yourself" advice- if you know your own limitations and think that's unlikely, get a support role in an investment bank / top accountancy or law firm. You don't have to be earning the same to be viewed as their equal, most of dhs friends who met their DP later met through work, not all were earning as much, but weren't just doing nothing waiting for someone else to pay.

Professional, educated men tend to prefer professional, educated women.

For their 1st marriages at least!

And I for one love to be married to a much lower earner who makes our house a home, and has time - there's only so much money one needs. I think many of my male colleagues think the same.

Plenty of fish .com

11 years ago.

He wasn't on that when I met him , he was on about £50,000 and me about £40,000

We both work in oil industry (well I did but don't know)

He now works internationally and has gone up the ladder so earns over £100,000 but the down side is he is stressed to the max, I'm practically a single parent since covid , he has been home 8 weeks this year and spends his life working a very dangerous job or stuck in a hotel staring at the walls in quarantine

Pre covid it was equal time, month on month off but his kids still missed him greatly and me too.

@Toplowlight

The best way to meet high-earning men is to be a high-earning woman.

I was a PA, I met my high earning husband at work, sooooo

@BeyondOurReef

My husband earns over £100k working in IT. The high salary does not make him any easier to live with. 🤷🏻‍♀️

Hahaha hear hear!!!

Being incredibly attractive will help, are you?

@ginnig

Professional, educated men tend to prefer professional, educated women.

For their 1st marriages at least!

Oh so true

@TheSpanishApartment

I keep reading about the coding nerds being on megabucks. My husband is a coding nerd and on nowhere near £100k. Where can he find these £100k+ jobs?! I suspect they are in the city. Same with the big earning accountants, lawyers etc. I know a lot of accountants and only know two who are on 6 figures. Depends what route you take.

Contracting mostly, but there are also highly paid roles. You will need to be very technically skilled and/or excellent at managing technology+people. If your husband is ambitious, willing to learn new technologies and good at delivering value he can definitely find a highly paid role, at least 60K. Especially with all the hybrid push going on now. Surely he has recruiters contacting him via LinkedIn?

There are quite a few low value IT roles however 30K is a fine salary for a lot of people , they're happy working with outdated tech they're familiar with and don't want to move anywhere else.

Men generally want to marry their intellectual equivalent, someone they share life goals/ambitions with. If you have potential to earn 100K, good for you, find someone with equivalent potential and get there together. Imbalanced relationships are far more likely to come under huge pressure.

@ChargingBuck taxes. london Mortgage.

And arguably a couple earning 100k combined gets far more than a single earning 100k due to 2 tax allowances. Like in my example above, an average london flat or commuter belt house can easily cost £550k, so mortgage could be £2k a month. Plus transport costs. Plus childcare of £1600 per month. I mean, my flat costs £400k but its really quite a small 2 bed, all the large 3 bed flats in my area i am looking at cost 650-800k or even a million so way more than the average and mortgage is likely to be something like 3k.

I mean granted such a person would have an ok quality of life and would probably still be solvent even if single. But you will not be Melania Trump. or even Carrie Symonds! Boris earns more than 100k and after he is sunk as PM, he will probably get a nice cushy job paying him hundreds of thousands.

I doubt you're ugly, but you're most certainly shallow!

Also do you want the IT guy who can work from home, has a good work/life balance or the stressed out lawyer. I'm generalising but some industries are worse than others.

DH and I met at school. We’ve been together since we were 15.

Marry for love OP.

Also OP I'm a software engineer and met my DP at work! Neither of earns 100K (yet) but we're on our way.
Try going to hobbies that high earning professionals love like idk rock climbing or marital arts. Quite a few of my friends are into this.
Or as PP said tech netowrking ecents

Online dating, just be careful about who you select - look for higher degrees and nice unis, pay attention to industry (tech, finance). Or, in the olden days, there are some great bars in the city that would be excellent dating pool ground!

On Thursday eve especially, as then you can meet nice men who don’t even necessarily party, they’re just out for a few beers after work.

Turn on your dating app when you’re in nice trendy areas of London and you’re also likely to match with people who live in those areas.

This makes me sound like some kind of crazed husband hunter haha, I ended up choosing love over money - but I don’t think there is anything wrong with being a bit strategic if there are certain types of men you’d like to meet.

However, I would say that you will also need your own plans and ambitions and be interesting in yourself if this is your strategy - even if you’re a complete knock out, I don’t know many marriage material guys (ie non assholes) who aren’t looking for a lot more than looks in a partner these days.

So while you are husband hunting, make sure you’re thinking about your own career and ambitions for yourself :)

DH and I both earn over £100k (in the North). We met at university. One of the reasons we're still together because our life goals are similar.

@MissCruellaDeVil

I doubt you're ugly, but you're most certainly shallow!

It's not shallow to want a nice life, is it? I had nothing growing up, and I don't mean stuff, I mean opportunities. I'll be damned if I was going to give that sort of life to my children.

I find my husband's ambition and drive really attractive too, which is also why he earns a lot

@Toplowlight

The best way to meet high-earning men is to be a high-earning woman.

Agree with this!

I would say it's quite difficult to find a very attractive, young, well paid man who isn't a dick. So easier to find one that will progress to that in a decade or so.

I totally agree about the balance of power thing.
I had a partner a few years back, - I was earning £20K, him £100K.

Being better off than me didn;t always have the benefits you would imagine.
He was tight with money, and I struggled to keep up with his spending.
He loved eating out, but always insisted on going 50/50 - I was youn, insecure and naive- he was wordly and charismatic,.
Holifays would see hime in the first class part of aeroplane, me in economy. He would have fancy luggage, mine was bought fromm ASDA. I ended up maxing out all my credit cards to keep up with his spending, and he was raging when he found out,

Having a rich partner is no always a pass to a happy life.
If you want money- earn it yourself.