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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

No school for you today then?

331 replies

DinosaurStompGrrrr · 15/12/2021 21:59

Today in the bank I was waiting with my DC and the man in front of us turns round to us and says to us ‘No school today for you then?’

DC term has finished (yes, private school) but when I said they were on holiday, I was told that it was ‘generous’ of the school. Innocuous comment on the one hand but I still responded ‘no work for you today then?’. I just felt he would not have said this to a man on his own. It felt like he wanted to just put his view even if unwelcome or unnecessary…

OP posts:
Guacamole001 · 16/12/2021 15:03

I wouldnt like a stranger saying that either. Passive aggressive noseyness.

Peppercorn9 · 16/12/2021 15:16

OP's (over)reaction was disproportionate IMO. That said, I don't blame any woman for being constantly on her guard and hypersensitive to comments from random men, given the amount of them that are far from innocent.

Comingup · 16/12/2021 15:37

Don't get this, too big a leap and projection on the OP's part. Must be exhausted overthinking to such a degree.

Happy1982ish · 16/12/2021 15:43

I’m relieved that unanimous the OP is being ridiculous

I wonder whether she feels a little sheepish?

SockFluffInTheBath · 16/12/2021 15:55

@Happy1982ish

I’m relieved that unanimous the OP is being ridiculous

I wonder whether she feels a little sheepish?

Why so invested? And I don’t think it is unanimous.
Redarrow2017 · 16/12/2021 17:09

This reply has been withdrawn

Message from MNHQ: This post has been withdrawn

Cam2020 · 16/12/2021 18:18

Was this whole thread created just so OP can tell everyone that her child is privately educated several times?

Lasair · 16/12/2021 19:49

What on earth? Seriously? Seriously? Why would you be offended?

Kite22 · 16/12/2021 20:59

This wasn't even a molehill before you upgraded it to a mountain, built a resort and chair lift and opened a ski school.

Excellent analysis Grin

fourminutestosavetheworld · 17/12/2021 05:34

"I get if I was sensitive. I don’t get your double standards."

What double standards?

He spoke to your child and made a bland, everyday comment about school.

There were lots of polite, respectful responses that would have closed the conversation but you went with 'no work for you then.'

Surely you understand commenting on a child not being at school is really quite different to asking an adult why they're not in work?

I didn't really judge you too harshly fir your original comment, anyone can have a bad day or have a moment of irrationality, but doubling down on it really just gives the impression that you are one of those people who makes the world a little bit worse.

Tiredout123 · 17/12/2021 06:29

I think your response was rude and snobby

barbrahunter · 17/12/2021 07:42

Actually I'm more with OP, it would annoy me too if someone randomly turned round and said that to my child. It's like that 'smile, it may never happen' comment: It is designed to provoke a justification, and is therefore some kind of minor control thing.

Reviewer123456 · 17/12/2021 08:33

@barbrahunter

Actually I'm more with OP, it would annoy me too if someone randomly turned round and said that to my child. It's like that 'smile, it may never happen' comment: It is designed to provoke a justification, and is therefore some kind of minor control thing.
Ummm, completely different. smile it may never happen is a comment referring to how you look and quite personal. Not sure how you connect the comment the man in the queue made to a minor control thing…
Bloodypunkrockers · 17/12/2021 13:50

@barbrahunter

Actually I'm more with OP, it would annoy me too if someone randomly turned round and said that to my child. It's like that 'smile, it may never happen' comment: It is designed to provoke a justification, and is therefore some kind of minor control thing.
Really?

I don't see any similarities

maryzx · 17/12/2021 16:08

[quote 100problems]@NinaDefoe I stand corrected.

That said one's own PE kids don't break up until this Friday. Op must pay an absolute wad more.

Every PE kid parent I know sort of does a little sob when someone asks this fella's question, especially at the start of the what seems like years long summer holiday Grin[/quote]
Grin Yes!

WhatATimeToBeAlive · 17/12/2021 16:21

YABU. No wonder the younger generations have no social skills.

georgarina · 17/12/2021 16:50
Biscuit
DitheringBlidiot · 17/12/2021 16:54

The weirdest part by far is you saying "no work for you today then?" Bizarre.

Amaksy · 17/12/2021 17:34

SMH
I had this once when I booked an eye test for my son and the lady said "next time tell mummy to book it so you don't miss school". I was speechless as it was on a Saturday.

Samcro · 17/12/2021 17:36

@DinosaurStompGrrrr

But why do older men need to challenge younger women? Would they say that to a man?
Why do younger women have to be rude to older men.
TheJade · 17/12/2021 17:38

It sounds like he was just being nice and making chit chat x

impossible · 17/12/2021 17:46

Why were you offended? I honestly don't understand.

AndARiverBeneathYourFeet · 17/12/2021 17:50

Lmao this is a terrible stealth brag. No one cares about your kids that much.

AndARiverBeneathYourFeet · 17/12/2021 17:51

"(yes, private school)" is your son's name Sheridan?

Do you terrorise Elizabeth when she comes for coffee?

Grin
007Stocko · 17/12/2021 17:56

@LubaLuca

It's a standard way to make polite conversation with a child. It wasn't a way to find out about your school choice or how much of a skiver your son is. Some adults genuinely like to talk to children.
Oh dear - sorry but I really think your over thinking this!!! It sounds to me like a simple bit of friendly banter whilst stood in an otherwise boring queue. A simple ' yes, afraid so. Their term ended yesterday so he gets the pleasure of my company all day' or similar