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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to say her cat can’t come for Christmas?

184 replies

OneRuleForThem · 14/12/2021 21:39

Someone who is invited for Christmas Day at mine has said they are being their kitten. This is not normal behaviour, right, asking to any pet owners? I don’t know much about pets but kittens can be left alone for much, much longer than puppies can, I think and would be ok for one single day by themselves if pre planned. I don’t understand why she want to bring it with her just because it’ll be Christmas Day. AIBU to say it can’t come I don’t want it ruining things? Haven’t replied yet.

OP posts:
MinnieGirl · 15/12/2021 19:50

@OneRuleForThem

I’ve been forced into agreeing for it to come now.
Forced?

It’s your house and you said no.
How have you been forced?

MabelsApron · 15/12/2021 19:52

@OneRuleForThem

I’ve been forced into agreeing for it to come now.
How?

Have you pointed out that kitten likely to be distressed by being introduced to strange house and expressed concern about welfare of kitten? Might be more effective.

MabelsApron · 15/12/2021 19:53

(Naturally would much rather hang out with kitten than people and anyone producing a kitten would be my new best friend but this is not good for poor kitten.)

icedcoffees · 15/12/2021 19:53

@OneRuleForThem

I’ve been forced into agreeing for it to come now.
Nonsense - you've chosen to let it come. You can't be forced to do anything you don't want to do!

If you're going to go ahead with this, be prepared for the kitten to piss and shit on your carpets. Many cats hate leaving home and travelling.

CheshireKitten123 · 15/12/2021 19:59

So you've given in to this prima donna who cried that you'd ruined her Xmas?

You've made a rod for your own back here OP.

What will you do next year when she wants to bring her pot-bellied pig ?

Original poster
OneRuleForThem · 15/12/2021 20:00

my partner said i can’t stoo his sister from coming over for Christmas and if I say no then he will not be at home on the day and will spend it elsewhere, that’s how I’ve been forced into it.

OP posts:
icedcoffees · 15/12/2021 20:02

@OneRuleForThem

my partner said i can’t stoo his sister from coming over for Christmas and if I say no then he will not be at home on the day and will spend it elsewhere, that’s how I’ve been forced into it.
Is he going to deal with the kitten when it scratches your sofas and carpets, pees on the floor and knocks everything off the shelves?
Original poster
OneRuleForThem · 15/12/2021 20:04

@icedcoffees
Is he going to deal with the kitten when it scratches your sofas and carpets, pees on the floor and knocks everything off the shelves?

Well I’m certainly not going to, so yes, or his sister will. But I have decided it won’t be allowed to walk around the house knocking things off shelves, it will be in one room witha the door closed

OP posts:
Scandisaurus · 15/12/2021 20:07

They only leave their mums at 12 wks old, and cannot be left alone for long if at all. Less than an hour anyway. Way less.

MabelsApron · 15/12/2021 20:07

Shutting the kitten away in a strange room in a strange house just sounds horrible for everyone, not least for the kitten - it’ll be frightened and lonely. At least in its own house it has its own things and smells around even if it’s by itself for a bit.

Suggest partner goes over to see his sister separately. She can’t have expected that she’d just be able to take a kitten everywhere with her?!

FlibbertyGibbitt · 15/12/2021 20:08

It will be fine on it’s own for the day, if they leave food and a litter tray. All it will take for it to get spooked and hide or even worse escape from the house ! (Cat owner for 30 odd years )

CheshireKitten123 · 15/12/2021 20:08

If it's DPs sister why is she asking you and not him in the first place?

2bazookas · 15/12/2021 20:13

How cruel to the kitten; two car journeys,. a strange house and lots of noisy strangers .

He'd be far better tucked up in his own home with a hot water bottle, the radio on, plenty of food, peace and quiet.

(WTF does she do when she's working? Take him with her? )

juice92 · 15/12/2021 20:13

One point I'd make is, kittens can't be left alone all day the same as dogs. When we first had my now adult cats my husband and I took turns when going out and we had probably had them for about 6 months when they were left on their own for a day.

That being said, neither puppies nor kittens should be invited to someone else's house by their owners

icedcoffees · 15/12/2021 20:18

[quote OneRuleForThem]@icedcoffees
Is he going to deal with the kitten when it scratches your sofas and carpets, pees on the floor and knocks everything off the shelves?

Well I’m certainly not going to, so yes, or his sister will. But I have decided it won’t be allowed to walk around the house knocking things off shelves, it will be in one room witha the door closed[/quote]
In which case it will wee/poo everywhere, scratch up the floor and the door and ruin your paintwork.

It's a recipe for a very stressed and upset kitten. If you're going to give in and let it come, shutting it in one room really isn't the answer.

icedcoffees · 15/12/2021 20:18

@Scandisaurus

They only leave their mums at 12 wks old, and cannot be left alone for long if at all. Less than an hour anyway. Way less.
Of course they can be left. What do you think will happen to them on their own for a few hours?
2bazookas · 15/12/2021 20:19

@OneRuleForThem

my partner said i can’t stoo his sister from coming over for Christmas and if I say no then he will not be at home on the day and will spend it elsewhere, that’s how I’ve been forced into it.
If DP dumped me for a kitten (or his bitch sister) , he'd be down at the rescue centre for unwanted husbands.

Course, they'd castrate him before they tried to rehome him.

MabelsApron · 15/12/2021 20:19

I know it’s ridiculous but I’m getting vaguely upset thinking about the poor kitten…

Iamanicepersonreally · 15/12/2021 20:21

I love cats, but it's say no to that. It's very unfair on the poor kitten

Scandisaurus · 15/12/2021 20:26

Poor kitten.

Original poster
OneRuleForThem · 15/12/2021 20:33

@CheshireKitten123

If it's DPs sister why is she asking you and not him in the first place?
She didn’t ask me, she was invited a while back, then text me yesterday and said “me and XXXXX (cats name) are looking forward to seeing you” and I said what??
OP posts:
andweallsingalong · 15/12/2021 20:41

I think a lot depends on the cat. Mine came with me to my mums at Christmas every year and were no bother. Difference is, I asked first. I'd taken him for a visit a few times first. Then on the actual day took him straight upstairs as his base and he was then free to come down at will.

Only complaint I ever had was from an elderly relative who didn't like him "looking at her" and thought he should be removed from the room. Superstar dmum said she was welcome to sit elsewhere if she wanted.

Mine were older and rescues though so seemed more bonded to me than places. I could literally take them anywhere and they would settle straight away. First day was approx 3 yrs old when I got him and dcat 2 the same a couple of years later.

DontKeepTheFaith · 15/12/2021 20:48

We have a rescue cat, been with us almost 2 months. She is 4 years but we still won’t leave her alone, she hates it, always follows so some around. It’s our family Christmas this weekend a couple of hours drive away but DH is staying behind to look after the cat😍 It’s what you do for loved pets, you don’t just cause them undue stress by moving them around.

I feel sad for the kitten. Christmas Day at home with no one else but a little kitten sounds bliss anyway🤣🤣

Broads93 · 15/12/2021 21:00

I keep my house like a show home, no way would anyone be bringing anything into my house without my say so, especially pets that just malt and have "accidents" everywhere.

Scandisaurus · 15/12/2021 21:01

@Broads93

I keep my house like a show home, no way would anyone be bringing anything into my house without my say so, especially pets that just malt and have "accidents" everywhere.
Get to host many shows?