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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to say her cat can’t come for Christmas?

184 replies

OneRuleForThem · 14/12/2021 21:39

Someone who is invited for Christmas Day at mine has said they are being their kitten. This is not normal behaviour, right, asking to any pet owners? I don’t know much about pets but kittens can be left alone for much, much longer than puppies can, I think and would be ok for one single day by themselves if pre planned. I don’t understand why she want to bring it with her just because it’ll be Christmas Day. AIBU to say it can’t come I don’t want it ruining things? Haven’t replied yet.

OP posts:
Unreasonabubble · 14/12/2021 22:43

The kitten will be fine left at home! Lots of dried food and water, heating left on. It will be fine.

Original poster
OneRuleForThem · 14/12/2021 22:43

Hm, really what @Annotherchange ?

OP posts:
MrsSkylerWhite · 14/12/2021 22:46

Today 22:39 OneRuleForThem

I text her and said no and have just recieved a reply saying I have ruined her entire Christmas, aibu to text back and say “and”? 😂 I’m just worried“

No, you really haven’t.

We took on three at once. Wouldn’t have expected anyone to accommodate our personal circumstances.
She eats Christmas dinner with you then goes home. Problem solved. Kitten will be fine for a few hours (or she could acquire another between now and then, in which case kitten will be delirious Grin (one kitten = 🙁)

Furries · 14/12/2021 22:48

I think, from your updates, kitten must be around 6 months old (as your last post said she’s had kitten for 3 months, and they should ideally be with mum for 12 weeks before going to new homes).

Even at this age, I would not be dragging a kitten to another house for a day. It really is different to maybe needing to take a puppy with you. Owner needs to recognise their responsibility to their pet. Maybe pop to your place for an hour or so, if convenient, but otherwise they need to put the cats needs first.

As an aside, I wish people wouldnt automatically think that “cats are easier/ can be left on their own / etc”). As they mature, yes, it’s easier to leave them for a day with some food (and a litter tray, so no need for letting them out for the loo like a dog). But they’re not (and shouldn’t be) easily dismissed when planning other life events.

minniemoll · 14/12/2021 22:50

I left a six month old kitten at home (with two older cats) for three nights at Christmas not long after he came to live here, with my neighbours popping in to feed and cuddle, he was fine.

If she's had hers for three months, it must be at least five months now, it'll be quite happy left at home for one day. Just leave plenty of food and water, it'll probably just sleep. She could always set up a cat cam to keep an eye on it if she's really worried.

Seabreeze18 · 15/12/2021 06:11

A kitten in a strange house may end up peeing everywhere! I wouldn’t expect anyone to put up with that. The best option is to ask a friend to look after it? Or pop in? Or don’t go!

RedHelenB · 15/12/2021 07:13

@Snog

Mine will be 4 months old at Christmas, I'm wondering how many hours I can leave them for on Christmas Day
Kittens are fine to be left as long as its a safe environment. We left ours hours and they were fine. I think some people get too uptight about leaving their pets.
SmolCat · 15/12/2021 07:18

@OneRuleForThem

I text her and said no and have just recieved a reply saying I have ruined her entire Christmas, aibu to text back and say “and”? 😂 I’m just worried
Well yes obviously that would be unnecessary. Do you both always speak to each other with that kind of shitty attitude?
MLMshouldbeillegal · 15/12/2021 07:19

I'm very allergic to cats too and so it would be a hard no from me too.

But asking to take your pets to other people's houses is just weird.

Confrontayshunme · 15/12/2021 07:25

Right after we got our kitten, we went away overnight, and our petsitter accidentally locked herself out of our flat with the keys inside (auto close doors!). We called the vet to check whether we should go home, and he said up to 36 hours alone wouldn't hurt him as long as he had had water at some point in the previous day.

Ronacorona · 15/12/2021 07:46

A work colleague has brought in his cat to work (was having building work in his flat). He (with permission) put the cat in a meeting room, setup a few boxes & food bowl, water in a corner. The cat basically sat in his blanket box the whole day, the cat is an adult & quite nervous & understandably shy.

BigSandyBalls2015 · 15/12/2021 08:00

I’m swelling up just thinking about that … say no

Chely · 15/12/2021 08:06

If you have a pet you either don't go or don't stay long.

Elodeastar · 15/12/2021 08:16

No, you are not being unreasonable. I wouldn't want someone bringing a kitten to my house, mainly for my sake but also for the kitten. She is assuming far too much if she thinks this isn't a potential issue!

icedcoffees · 15/12/2021 08:20

@BobbieT1999

Kittens can't be left for long, unfortunately, so I understand why she wants to bring it but it's cheeky to tell you that she is and you're within your rights to say no. Just beware thar it might mean she can't come at all.
Eh? Why on earth not? What do you think will happen to them? They're not puppies.

I left mine home alone all day from the day after we got her at 8 weeks old. She didn't explode or destroy the house or combust with loneliness Wink

silentpool · 15/12/2021 08:21

It's too young to be left. But I would not want someone bringing a kitten to my house either!

Mine is 9 months old and he still gets a little upset when I'm gone for hours. So I will be coming home after Christmas lunch this year.

icedcoffees · 15/12/2021 08:23

I'm so surprised at people saying they never left their kittens!

All our cats have been left home alone all day since the day we brought them home! What do people think will happen if they're left by themselves?

Our first was 8 weeks when we got her on the Saturday and she was left home alone all day on the Monday. She was absolutely fine.

Georgeskitchen · 15/12/2021 08:26

A 3 month old kitten should be fine alone for a few hours. Plenty of food and water left out, some cat toys and soft teddies. Leave the radio on low. Kitten will probably not even notice your missing

Iamnotamermaid · 15/12/2021 08:27

My brother brought a cat (ok not kitten) they just acquired a couple of weeks earlier from a shelter. Thought it would be a disaster - cat turned out to be the best behaved out of all of them. Just keep the kitchen in a spare room out of the way in its cat basket and it will be fine.

newyearsresolurion · 15/12/2021 08:31

The answer is no she can stay at home with her cat you haven't ruined anyone's Christmas I hate people with no boundaries NO is NO

KittekatMP · 15/12/2021 08:31

i left mine home alone all day from the day after we got her at 8 weeks

Blimey. Not sure that is something to be proud of.

At 8 weeks kittens need feeding 4 times a day plus they need love, care and interaction. I think it’s pretty neglectful to be leaving them all day at that age.

OP - I think you are reasonable to say no but I also think your guest should stay at home with the kitten.

Prestel · 15/12/2021 08:38

I'm surprised at how many people think you can't leave a 6 month old kitten for one day. What do they think is going to happen to it? It will be much safer and happier in its own home with plenty of dry food left out and will be happy to see her when she gets home. If she brings it with her the kitten will be distressed by the strange smells and people and there is a much higher likelihood of it escaping a strange house with a host and guests who aren't used to keeping all the doors and windows shut.

ikeepseeingit · 15/12/2021 08:41

She’ll be okay to leave it for around four- six hours depending on its age. Can she try a timed feeder with the cat? At 5/6 months it’s plenty old enough to be left and just needs feeding really. She could also ask a neighbour to feed the cat once or, depending on distance she can pop back herself and have a play with it, feed it, then leave.

ikeepseeingit · 15/12/2021 08:43

Four hours for a 3 month old and 6 for a 5/6 month old kitten btw. I’m pretty sure we would leave ours at 6 months for 8 hours with food left out very occasionally.

Dorisspider · 15/12/2021 08:45

Not god for the kitten. Or stress levels. They need to stay home.