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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to say her cat can’t come for Christmas?

184 replies

OneRuleForThem · 14/12/2021 21:39

Someone who is invited for Christmas Day at mine has said they are being their kitten. This is not normal behaviour, right, asking to any pet owners? I don’t know much about pets but kittens can be left alone for much, much longer than puppies can, I think and would be ok for one single day by themselves if pre planned. I don’t understand why she want to bring it with her just because it’ll be Christmas Day. AIBU to say it can’t come I don’t want it ruining things? Haven’t replied yet.

OP posts:
indiesearcher · 15/12/2021 10:34

Hmmm we took our kitten (4 months) to my in laws for Christmas once, but because we were there overnight and he seemed so little.

They were obviously fine with it and kitten seemed very happy indeed with all the fuss.

But it's your house and for one day I expect a 3 mo kitten would be fine at home.

KittekatMP · 15/12/2021 10:39

Totally different for older cats, I have no problem leaving them overnight with someone popping in to feed them. That is very different from a small kitten you've only just got though.

BungleandGeorge · 15/12/2021 10:42

Saying that you leave your fully grown cat for the entire day so she should leave a kitten is a bit like saying you leave your 24 year old so the 6 year old should be fine! If you take on a baby animal you need to look after it properly, but that’s not OPs responsibility. Personally think it’s far from ideal to leave an adult cat for a week with one visit a day. If they became ill, had an accident, had a fight potentially you wouldn’t know for 24 hours. That’s why some people get cameras I guess, to keep an eye on them.

LindaEllen · 15/12/2021 10:58

My cat would hate to be taken to a strange house with strange people. She would much prefer being left at home to sleep, and would quite probably be in exactly the same position when we got home as she was when we left!

TheCreamCaker · 15/12/2021 11:03

Cats generally like to be in their own environment. If left with food, water, dry food, somewhere warm and cosy to sleep, and a clean litter tray, a cat will be fine for a day.

Cat owner of 40+ years.

CheshireKitten123 · 15/12/2021 11:08

@OneRuleForThem

I text her and said no and have just recieved a reply saying I have ruined her entire Christmas, aibu to text back and say “and”? 😂 I’m just worried
I wouldn't reply, you're just encouraging her emotional blackmail.

If they are such a drama-llama just be glad they aren't coming !

Horriblewoman · 15/12/2021 11:12

Someone bringing their kitten for Christmas would be a dream come true for me!

We've taken ours to my parents a few times for Christmas and they are entirely unbothered by the change of scenery.

It is your house and your decision ultimately though

icedcoffees · 15/12/2021 11:13

@KittekatMP

Totally different for older cats, I have no problem leaving them overnight with someone popping in to feed them. That is very different from a small kitten you've only just got though.
Well, that kitten is nearly six now and she was absolutely fine on her own while we worked.

I do think many owners anthropomorphise their pets and then wonder why they can't be left or have behavioural issues.

Cats are not dogs. They're not companion animals who need taking to the toilet or walking regularly. They're absolutely fine by themselves for the most part.

AuntMargo · 15/12/2021 11:28

Absolutely not !

Bubblecap · 15/12/2021 11:47

What’s your relationship to this person?

You should have done the positive negative positive sandwich aka the shit sandwich.

How lovely that you have a kitten
But I’m sorry you can’t bring the kitten
You are however very welcome to come along for dinner and as long as you feel able to leave your kitten.

lockdownalli · 15/12/2021 11:52

I wouldn't leave such a small kitten all day. No more than about 4 hours to be honest.

If that means she can't come, she can't come. She shouldn't have accepted your kind invitation.

I would contact her saying you appreciate it must be difficult for her, and you understand she won't be able to attend, no drama.

Brusca · 15/12/2021 11:53

A six month old cat is vastly different from a 3 month old.

If it's 6 months old she can leave it home for the day. I probably wouldn't leave it more than 6 or so hours though, especially if it's not used to being left.

backtolifebacktoreality · 15/12/2021 15:59

People saying that you can't leave the cat at home are talking rubbish. When people get a kitten, do they take months off work to care for it?

It's not ideal to leave the cat but it won't die. Just leave some water and dry food down!!!

FuzzyPuffling · 15/12/2021 16:02

I'd far sooner a kitten visited me than most people.

seekings1mplicity · 15/12/2021 16:03

@FuzzyPuffling

I'd far sooner a kitten visited me than most people.
This. And where's the photo?
BendicksBittermints4Breakfast · 15/12/2021 16:11

Cats and kittens are not “portable” like puppies and dogs, you can’t just pluck them out of their surroundings like that.

Our cat, from being a kitten, was carried around when we went to stay with my parents, we used a sports bag with an ill fitting zip, he was very happy except if we had to push his nose back in when the ticket inspector came round! He also flew to join us on an overseas posting and then was flown on to our next posting! He lived to be a fair old age.

cadburyegg · 15/12/2021 16:14

YANBU

When my cat was that age we didn't leave her all day but I would never have expected other people to accommodate her in their homes, we just made sure she wasn't left alone for more than 4 hours or so

LadyMacbethWasMisunderstood · 15/12/2021 16:17

I would not leave a 3 month old kitten for a whole day (ours is 5 months now and we are just starting to leave him for longer). 3 months is tiny. Doesn’t mean you have to have it at yours though. But be prepared for her not coming.

purdypuma · 15/12/2021 18:35

Tbh I would ask her to leave the kitten at home, they're not portable in the same way that puppies are. Provided they leave the kitten with enough food, water toys etc then the kitten should be fine for the day by itself & the kitten might take the opportunity to explore its home surroundings more than it usually does. I wouldn't leave the kitten unattended overnight though...

Ludo19 · 15/12/2021 19:18

No way a three month old kitten should be left all day on its own, kittenseave their mum between 8-12 weeks poor mite, your friend is being irresponsible.

TonTonMacoute · 15/12/2021 19:24

Just no.

As PPs have said, a young kitten will absolutely hate being in a strange house full of strangers! What a bizarre request from your guest, the kitten will be absolutely fine left alone at home.

seconddayout · 15/12/2021 19:43

I don't think the kitten should come, and I would accept someone not visiting for the reason of looking after one.

Original poster
OneRuleForThem · 15/12/2021 19:44

I’ve been forced into agreeing for it to come now.

OP posts:
Crispynoodle · 15/12/2021 19:47

YANBU but my daughter is bringing her two kittens. Tbf they're too small to leave, her hubby and her are staying overnight and I have a big enough house to give the kittens a room to themselves

CheshireKitten123 · 15/12/2021 19:48

@OneRuleForThem

I’ve been forced into agreeing for it to come now.
How have you been "forced"?!
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