Psychologist told me autism is a superpower

[Midnightpharma]

I went to see a psychologist as part of a support package offered by my employer to help with my disability and perhaps learn a few strategies to deal with the anxiety I suffer from as a result of being autistic. I was talking about how my disability affects me, and the psychologist, at the end of my story, told me that "autism isn't a disability, it's a superpower!"

She proceeded to show me a kids video about how autistic people are a little different, but awesome and spent most of the rest of the session trying to make me think positively about my "superpower". I struggle on a daily basis and have had to take 6 months of sick leave in the last two years, keep feeling desperately uncomfortable at work and barely manage to stay in employment. To do so I need constant help in my home life. I can't work from an office full-time and have semi-regular shutdowns/meltdowns. I still have 10 hours of sessions left.

WIBU to try and cancel the others? I don't know what to do. They're not mandatory, but I don't want to look like I don't appreciate my employer's offer of support. At the same time this session was painful and invalidating and I'm not sure how to do another 10 hours of this. The person is a qualified psychologist who specialises is neurodiverse conditions. If being on the spectrum was a superpower why would you need to see a psychologist?!

I don’t use the works disable wrt my son because he isn’t. If anything he’s extremely able.

There is a world of difference between my best friend in a wheelchair and my son who needs melatonin to sleep and is anxious at times. I don’t abuse the concept of disability.

Piggybacking onto the idea of disability would be ridiculous and self indulgent in my situation and I don’t have to label him disabled. It’s insulting to those who actually are. There are many people who are truly disabled by their autism. My son isn’t, thankfully. A few years ago when he couldn’t speak, eat or poo - yes, he was definitely disabled by his autism. Not now.

Must have missed the queue for the superpower part when it was handed out. Definitely disabling. You need significant impairment to be diagnosed.

@EIIa

I don’t use the works disable wrt my son because he isn’t. If anything he’s extremely able.

There is a world of difference between my best friend in a wheelchair and my son who needs melatonin to sleep and is anxious at times. I don’t abuse the concept of disability.

Piggybacking onto the idea of disability would be ridiculous and self indulgent in my situation and I don’t have to label him disabled. It’s insulting to those who actually are. There are many people who are truly disabled by their autism. My son isn’t, thankfully. A few years ago when he couldn’t speak, eat or poo - yes, he was definitely disabled by his autism. Not now.

You can be able and still have a disability? Whether or not I have a disability is not related to whether someone else is more disabled. Anxiety can also be a disability. I'm not saying that it is the case for your son, but having a disability is not a race to the bottom. I'm not sure I understand the point of your comment.

I don't consider my autism to be a disability (e.g. When asked on forms, etc. if I have a disability), but it probably is. I also hate the "superpower" claptrap. There is such an image of autism being this wonderful thing making people "say it like it is", put their mind to anything, and so on. For me, that manifests as being too blunt and worrying about having upset people for ages afterwards, and the absolute delight that is hyperfocus.
I have "high functioning" autism (I believe the term isn't used anymore, however it was my diagnosis), but it seems to make people think of Bill Gates and Elon Musk and other super successful people with autism, when that is nowhere near reality for most of us, nor is it likely to ever be the case.
I am also surprised at the therapist using the patronising "superpower" line as they should know how varied the spectrum is - what about the autistic people who suffer through showering/brushing their hair/teeth every day because it's sensory hell, or skip it altogether at times because it's become unbearable? Do they not understand how distressing a shutdown or meltdown can be? If I was told I could make a wish and my autism would disappear, I wouldn't think twice about it.

@EIIa

I don’t use the works disable wrt my son because he isn’t. If anything he’s extremely able.

There is a world of difference between my best friend in a wheelchair and my son who needs melatonin to sleep and is anxious at times. I don’t abuse the concept of disability.

Piggybacking onto the idea of disability would be ridiculous and self indulgent in my situation and I don’t have to label him disabled. It’s insulting to those who actually are. There are many people who are truly disabled by their autism. My son isn’t, thankfully. A few years ago when he couldn’t speak, eat or poo - yes, he was definitely disabled by his autism. Not now.

Sorry but you need educating on this topic. Your views are ableist.

Just because someone doesn’t outwardly seem disabled by their autism doesn’t mean they aren’t.

What is actually insulting to disabled people is downplaying disabilities... disability isn't just about whether you can physically use your body. NO idea how it's 2021 and people still don't get this.

My son has epilepsy and there is SO much beyond the seizures. My friend has MS and his disability isn't always obvious either. He's been in a wheelchair before but he isn't now.

Surely the fact that to have a diagnosis of autism ,their has to be a Triad of impairment,s means it's a disability .
My child is severely disabled by his autism and it is most definitely not a super power for him ,it helps no one to dismiss or minimise autism

FFS when is this superpower rubbish going to stop?!

My psychologist was the opposite of yours - was clear that superpower was used to try and make it easier for kids but the reality is that it is anything but.

I'm pretty sure a lot of people use the term superpower to make themselves feel better because humans are still generally rubbish at understanding/coping with other people's hidden disabilities.

@EIIa

I don’t use the works disable wrt my son because he isn’t. If anything he’s extremely able.

There is a world of difference between my best friend in a wheelchair and my son who needs melatonin to sleep and is anxious at times. I don’t abuse the concept of disability.

Piggybacking onto the idea of disability would be ridiculous and self indulgent in my situation and I don’t have to label him disabled. It’s insulting to those who actually are. There are many people who are truly disabled by their autism. My son isn’t, thankfully. A few years ago when he couldn’t speak, eat or poo - yes, he was definitely disabled by his autism. Not now.

You need to look into the social model of disability. It will help you to champion your son's rights and support his needs.

My DH had a diagnosis of Aspergers quite late in life. Mild, but I'd been badgering him about some particular personality traits for years.

He used to be a police detective, and a successful one too. Lots of commendations, got promoted often and featured as the investigating officers in a lot of important cases in the 1980s and early 1990s.

Now he's a cyber crime specialist. Bit of a change from hunting-down murderers, but he loves the evidence-collecting.

For him though, his (mild) Aspergers has definitely been a huge aid; he just doesn't see the world through conventional eyes. He would listen to suspects alibi's in an interview and there-and-then just hit them with the flaws in their stories that would invariably provoke a straight-out confession. Or he'd propose some alternate line of investigation that no-one else could even imagine, and invariably it would come up trumps. Some of his colleagues found him a bit odd - particularly his off-the-wall sense-of-humour, but I just accepted that he just views everything through a different lens.

As I mentioned, he's just a mild 'Aspie', but his condition gave him a successful career and now a second career when he'd have otherwise retired.

@secular111

My DH had a diagnosis of Aspergers quite late in life. Mild, but I'd been badgering him about some particular personality traits for years.

He used to be a police detective, and a successful one too. Lots of commendations, got promoted often and featured as the investigating officers in a lot of important cases in the 1980s and early 1990s.

Now he's a cyber crime specialist. Bit of a change from hunting-down murderers, but he loves the evidence-collecting.

For him though, his (mild) Aspergers has definitely been a huge aid; he just doesn't see the world through conventional eyes. He would listen to suspects alibi's in an interview and there-and-then just hit them with the flaws in their stories that would invariably provoke a straight-out confession. Or he'd propose some alternate line of investigation that no-one else could even imagine, and invariably it would come up trumps. Some of his colleagues found him a bit odd - particularly his off-the-wall sense-of-humour, but I just accepted that he just views everything through a different lens.

As I mentioned, he's just a mild 'Aspie', but his condition gave him a successful career and now a second career when he'd have otherwise retired.

I have a successful career, but not because I'm autistic. I'm at risk of losing my career because I'm autistic, as trying to work is a daily struggle for me. I have both physical and mental difficulties as a result of being autistic, and I'm looking for ways to mitigate them in a work context so that I can function to the best of my ability. It's not just about having some particular personality traits that other people may find undesirable.

secular111

There's nothing MILD about any type of autism that is diagnosed. Please stop perpetuating that crap.

example here neuroclastic.com/its-a-spectrum-doesnt-mean-what-you-think/
"My doctor recently referred to my autism is “mild.” I gently pointed to my psychologist’s report which stated that my executive dysfunction as being greater than 99th percentile.
“That means I am less functional than 99% of people. Does that seem mild to you?” I asked her.
But, you see, I can speak, and I can look people in the eyes, so they see my autism as “mild.” My autism affects those around me mildly but my autism does affect me severely."

Diagnostic criteria

"The DSM-5 Manual defines autism spectrum disorder as “persistent difficulties with social communication and social interaction” and “restricted and repetitive patterns of behaviours, activities or interests” (this includes sensory behaviour), present since early childhood, to the extent that these “limit and impair everyday functioning”. "

note limit and impair everyday functioning

more here www.autism.org.uk/advice-and-guidance/topics/diagnosis/diagnostic-criteria/all-audiences

@5keletor

I don't consider my autism to be a disability (e.g. When asked on forms, etc. if I have a disability), but it probably is. I also hate the "superpower" claptrap. There is such an image of autism being this wonderful thing making people "say it like it is", put their mind to anything, and so on. For me, that manifests as being too blunt and worrying about having upset people for ages afterwards, and the absolute delight that is hyperfocus. I have "high functioning" autism (I believe the term isn't used anymore, however it was my diagnosis), but it seems to make people think of Bill Gates and Elon Musk and other super successful people with autism, when that is nowhere near reality for most of us, nor is it likely to ever be the case. I am also surprised at the therapist using the patronising "superpower" line as they should know how varied the spectrum is - what about the autistic people who suffer through showering/brushing their hair/teeth every day because it's sensory hell, or skip it altogether at times because it's become unbearable? Do they not understand how distressing a shutdown or meltdown can be? If I was told I could make a wish and my autism would disappear, I wouldn't think twice about it.

Bill Gates has never been diagnosed with autism nor mentioned that he has it. It’s a diagnosis by armchair experts.

[quote BlankTimes]secular111

There's nothing MILD about any type of autism that is diagnosed. Please stop perpetuating that crap.

example here neuroclastic.com/its-a-spectrum-doesnt-mean-what-you-think/
"My doctor recently referred to my autism is “mild.” I gently pointed to my psychologist’s report which stated that my executive dysfunction as being greater than 99th percentile.
“That means I am less functional than 99% of people. Does that seem mild to you?” I asked her.
But, you see, I can speak, and I can look people in the eyes, so they see my autism as “mild.” My autism affects those around me mildly but my autism does affect me severely."

Diagnostic criteria

"The DSM-5 Manual defines autism spectrum disorder as “persistent difficulties with social communication and social interaction” and “restricted and repetitive patterns of behaviours, activities or interests” (this includes sensory behaviour), present since early childhood, to the extent that these “limit and impair everyday functioning”. "

note limit and impair everyday functioning

more here www.autism.org.uk/advice-and-guidance/topics/diagnosis/diagnostic-criteria/all-audiences[/quote]
While you may have difficulties are you sure you’re less functional than 99% of the population? What functions did your psychologist mean? I would say many more than 1% of people cannot read, speak or use a computer for example.

Coronawireless

The example is from the link in my post, not my own personal experience.

To those avoiding labels. It's not something that you can control. Your child will be labelled anyway - weird, odd, shy, rude and so on.
Being diagnosed as autistic is not labelling your child, it empowers them to know who they are ,that they are not alone and they are certainly not weird or shy.
There are simply them,their brains look at the world differently to most which makes them appear to uneducable people as shy or odd but finally they get validation for themselves why they react to certain situations in certain ways , not because they are shy!
I am autistic and have three children who are autistic and I would hate to be labelled shy. I embrace who I am as an autistic adult.

@Franklyfrost

I’d go to the next session and start it with ‘I want our time together to be productive so I’m going to share my thoughts on the last session. My experience of autism is that it makes me feel anxious in specific situations and I’d like us to address that. Perhaps my mindset will change and I’ll embrace autism as a superpower but right now that narrative feels like it contradicts and dismisses my lives experience of having autism. What if really like to work on is…’

Think of your psychologist as a charity shop, you have to rummage around the sessions and look for anything that fits, functions and is to your taste.

Last thing: you can be a qualified psychologist by doing sod all, it’s not a protected title. You at least want a member of the BSP, which means they have a degree in psychology from a real university.

Brilliantly put!

Sounds like you need a work coach not a physiologist. I went o one last year without really knowing what it is but I found it empowering as it was about how the way I work and how I could use this to my advantage. Since I did it I have found work has been better and I actually left the employer I was with because I realised whilst my managers and line managers where excellent I couldn't fight the entire organisations poor disability support. Dragon was incompatible with the systems we used so the software I used to help me didn't work and interfered with the software the company used, this happened whilst I worked for them so the "upgrade" came in without any consideration for people with disability. I know I could have taken them to tribunal for constructive dismissal and disability discrimination but I also learnt that I only have so much energy and I pick my battles now, it was not worth my energy and mental health.
The issue is employers think autism I know it's mental health a psychologist will help, but they only have access to clinical psychologist not occupational psychologists who would help with work issue. It's not the psychologist fault it's like you have been sent to the green grocer when you need jam.
Access to work supply work coaches so it might be worth exploring this option. They also look at other adaptions which may help you with your work.
Communication is an issue for some autistic people but you do need to discuss this with your manager.

YANBU OP. I follow a SLT who specialises in ASD on social media and I was gutted when she went to great lengths to spell out that autism isn't a disability, it's just a 'differently wired brain' I must tell my sister that the next time she's changing her 18 year old autistic, non verbal son's nappy. He is very disabled!

Speaking as someone who works with autistic primary school children... this is shit.

I'm not surprised you felt babied and invalidated. The ONLY situation I MIGHT use a video/language like that, was if I was trying to explain to a neurotypical child what life might be like for someone with autism. I wouldn't use that with an actual person who has autism!

Other people have given you lots of good advice for moving forwards with your psychologist. I just wanted to reassure you that you are correct in feeling a bit shit about that first session!

Last thing: you can be a qualified psychologist by doing sod all, it’s not a protected title. You at least want a member of the BSP, which means they have a degree in psychology from a real university

This isn't quite true. There are certain protected titles and they are listed on the HCPC website, and you most definitely are regulated and cannot use the title by law unless you are qualified to. One of these titles is 'clinical psychologist' for example.

There is no such regulatory organisation called the "BSP", unless you are referring to the BPS (British psychological society). They are no longer the regulatory body for practitioner psychologists and have not been for some years now. The HCPC regulates practitioner psychologists.

www.hcpc-uk.org/about-us/who-we-regulate/the-professions/

If someone is using the title "clinical psychologist" (or any of the other protected titles) and are not qualified as such, they should be reported. If they are simply referring to themselves as "psychologist", this is different. Look for whether they are HCPC registered.

Sorry my previous posts were in relation to @Franklyfrost 's comment.

It's appalling you had to sit and listen to such infantile and infantilising horseshit.

No way would I be going back.