Psychologist told me autism is a superpower

[Midnightpharma]

I went to see a psychologist as part of a support package offered by my employer to help with my disability and perhaps learn a few strategies to deal with the anxiety I suffer from as a result of being autistic. I was talking about how my disability affects me, and the psychologist, at the end of my story, told me that "autism isn't a disability, it's a superpower!"

She proceeded to show me a kids video about how autistic people are a little different, but awesome and spent most of the rest of the session trying to make me think positively about my "superpower". I struggle on a daily basis and have had to take 6 months of sick leave in the last two years, keep feeling desperately uncomfortable at work and barely manage to stay in employment. To do so I need constant help in my home life. I can't work from an office full-time and have semi-regular shutdowns/meltdowns. I still have 10 hours of sessions left.

WIBU to try and cancel the others? I don't know what to do. They're not mandatory, but I don't want to look like I don't appreciate my employer's offer of support. At the same time this session was painful and invalidating and I'm not sure how to do another 10 hours of this. The person is a qualified psychologist who specialises is neurodiverse conditions. If being on the spectrum was a superpower why would you need to see a psychologist?!

There's no such thing as a female/male mindset. Thats pop psychology and pretty childish. Lots of people feel quite badly displaced by the expectations of how to behave because of sex and it's damaging. Its a lazy stereotype and not very critical thinking.

Can you go back to your employer and say that the sessions arent working, they feel like toxic positivity, and ask for CBT instead?
CBT is results driven, its like being given a manual and road map for your brain. You want specific coping strategies, not vague unhelpful platitudes.

@Midnightpharma

I didn't think it was relevant in my OP, but I was the one who asked for an assessment and support, not my employer. My employer offered because I asked, and this is the specialist company that they use. I'm not under review for underperformance, but I struggle staying in work, because over time it becomes impossible to manage and I end up either on sick leave or resigning. I'm trying to avoid that scenario as best as possible moving forward. I don't want to cancel because it would make me look/feel ungrateful, but so far I'm not enjoying this experience.

Therapists are like shoes, if they don’t fit you aren’t going to walk far. Please don’t worry about her feelings, she wasn’t worrying about yours for a single minute. You say it’s a company that your workplace uses, they may well have more than one therapist who specialises in autism and coping strategies. Failing that, write a list and take it with you. She is working for you, so tell her what you want to work on. If she hasn’t the skills, sack her.

@Thelnebriati

Can you go back to your employer and say that the sessions arent working, they feel like toxic positivity, and ask for CBT instead? CBT is results driven, its like being given a manual and road map for your brain. You want specific coping strategies, not vague unhelpful platitudes.

I've tried CBT in the past and it doesn't work for me unfortunately.

@Midnightpharma

I didn't think it was relevant in my OP, but I was the one who asked for an assessment and support, not my employer. My employer offered because I asked, and this is the specialist company that they use. I'm not under review for underperformance, but I struggle staying in work, because over time it becomes impossible to manage and I end up either on sick leave or resigning. I'm trying to avoid that scenario as best as possible moving forward. I don't want to cancel because it would make me look/feel ungrateful, but so far I'm not enjoying this experience.

In what ways does staying in work become impossible to manage? Constant masking draining your emergency reserves? New tasks added that play to all your weaknesses? A move to an open plan office? Constant office moves? New demand to drive to meetings in congested places? Excess noise, lighting, other people's perfume/aftershave? Packed in physically too close to others?

If you are performing to standard or above, and you have an autism diagnosis, imagine how much better you will perform if your working conditions don't screw with your head. You have the right to ask for reasonable adaptions because of a disability.

Something to be managed through anxiety control / working hours / strategies to improve friendships and communication.

So the autistic person should change who they inherently are.

Whatever happened to reasonable adjustments?

You have my sympathy OP. Living with autism can be so overwhelming and hard to cope with. Hope you find a solution that suits you.

For people who are high functioning enough ASD is not always considered a disability. It is a processing disorder or difference. Something to be managed through anxiety control / working hours / strategies to improve friendships and communication.

I rarely swear but this occasion calls for it. That is the most fucking stupid bullshit I have ever read. I have autism and it is a disability. It doesn't matter how good the person is at developing compensatory strategies - it is a disability. And we don't need to be told to "manage" the condition. That is so fucking patronising I cannot tell you.

Whoever thinks that is a sensible or sensitive thing to say should fuck off.

I HATE this whole superpower claptrap.

I'm not autistic, but I've taught severely autistic children for my entire career, and my adult DD is mildly autistic.

I'd like that psychologist to have come into my classroom of non-verbal and highly anxious children and THEN tell me it's a superpower.

This psychologist is going to continue to be wrong for you, OP, because they clearly have no clear oncept of autism, or empathy for your situation. It's perfectly fine to say so and ask for someone else. That's normal in any kind of counselling, and psychologists and counsellors understand that. You have to be a good fit for it to work. This person won't be offended or hurt.

@TurnUpTurnip

I see lots of people say this about their autistic children and I don’t agree, it definitely isn’t for my daughter anyway. I wouldn’t expect to hear that from a professional

Same here. My son is amazing but life is a huge struggle for him every single day. He’ll never live independently, needs 2:1 support 24/7. Can’t communicate etc. There absolutely nothing good about autism in our house. Its definitely not a super power! I’d be furious if a professional said this to me. Shows they have absolutely no understsofvsurusm if the fact that it’s a spectrum and that some people are profoundly affected.

I'm really sorry to hear of your experience @Midnightpharma
I am also autistic and have had some really ridiculous things said to me by mental health professionals.
It could be worth seeing her again.
Maybe write down what it is you're feeling and how you felt about last session.
You may read this to her in your next session if you feel you want to. Or email it to her?

It would be really interesting to see how the remaining sessions unfold after she's done her whole 'autism is a superpower' and showing you these videos.
Now that's out of the way, I wonder how she'll approach it.
However, if you find the same thing happening in the second session, I'd see if you can change psychologists.

@user1478172746

"Most of us don't get to use our abilities" - yes, but if you know them, you can conciously change the situation (with help or on your own). You can seek ways to use them and congratulate yourself with every successful step, not comparing your journey with NT. Some will leave NTpicals in the dust with their success, but for some fulfilling life will be amazing and something to be proud of. "Autism is tragedy" is not a better narrative, only worse in my opinion. If you don't love even part of your autistic self, that means the problem is low self-esteem. And that one is on society, starting from childhood.

If you were replying to me then you completely misunderstood my comment. I don't think "autism is tragedy" at all and I wouldn't swap for a neurotypical brain if you paid me, but anyone who has walked this path knows it's hard. Your comment manages to be patronising and infantilising while also implying that if we just tried a bit harder it would all sort itself out.

This thread is like entries for "tell me youre nt without telling me youre nt". Deary me

I’ve always wondered how autistic people would feel about the whole “superpower” narrative that has become popular. I think it’s great as some autistic people have amazing abilities, however it kind of minimises some of the struggles that autistic people face as a result of their condition.

I were to seek help from a psychologist as I was suffering, I wouldn’t want to be reminded of how great the condition is. I can see why you’ve been out off. Maybe try another session and see how it goes? If you feel it’s not helping then cancel them.

My nephew is autistic and it definitely isn’t a superpower
Unless compulsive spitting eating grass and being unable to communicate ( amongst many other issues) is somehow a ‘super power’.
If a’professional’ said this to my sister she wouldn’t be responsible for her actions

Or is this ‘professional’ assuming that all autistic people are like Rainman

I’m a (retired) autism specialist and for fucks sake I’d be reporting for malpractice. This is appalling. It takes no account of your individual circumstances, how you prefer to operate, and is clearly dismissive. There are one or two parts who have suggested that some of us suffer with anxiety because we are made anxious by the label but not by the fact that we’re autistic. They’re wankers.
Seriously, report to their professional body, they don’t understand autism and shouldn’t be allowed to work with autistic people.
Rant over for now.

Parts= pratts!

Only read the op, but had to chime in and agree that this superpower bollox is such claptrap. Toxic positivity if you ask me!
My dd is in the process of being assessed, she's great but it gives her an uphill battle to fight in certain areas and the fact is that compared to a nt person some things are harder for her. The end.
When I mentioned it to a friend I have they aid this superpower shite, and while I appreciate the sentiment that she wanted to cheer on her good qualities, the fact is that it is not the truth of her reality. She IS great, but her autistic qualities do not give her anything extraordinary in a positive sense, that part of her just gives her difficulties which she through great strength manages to overcome.
Sorry you had that op, very invalidating and uninformed.

I am autistic. Until this year I did see it as a disability. Now I see it as a cognitive difference, a different operating system.

I don’t see it as a super power though. I see it as neither better nor worse than being neurotypical and unfortunately the world isn’t geared to the minority so it absolutely can be harder to function in the world.

I’ve had this about my son. It’s not a superpower and as I told the last person who happily chirped this nonsense to me “It’s not like he can f fly!”.

Some of his traits have benefits (his ability to remember absolutely everything in minute detail for example) and he has many things at which he excels but there are many other traits that make his life harder. His autism is certainly no tragedy but childish and twee minimising of his struggles doesn’t help him, nor does it make it clear to neurotypical people that he needs some help and adjustments making to a predominately NT oriented world to enable him to function as a happy and fulfilled person. Afterall, who needs to provide an ehcp or pay for an assistant or get rid of the dyson hand drier or provide a pictorial timetable for a superhero….

If you think about it, almost all the superhero and fantasy films have gone down the track of grim backstories or miserable personal lives full of responsibility for the superheroes, being ostracised from normal life, alienated from the world.

Their abilities are often portrayed as a burden as much as a gift, until the superhero finds other people like them who they can have a mini community of sorts with, away from real life.

I know it's all just fiction and just like the glib sentiment being mentioned on this thread, it's meant to tap into that insecurity in every person to reassure them that "you're special not different, there are others like you, and you have value and worth to the world".

But really, having superpowers isn't all it's cracked up to be when you step back and look at it. It's not something I would choose. I'd like to be more normal thanks.

I had counselling a few years ago for infertility. I was so stressed out. Trying for 2 years and nothing, every month going by without conceiving was taking over everything for me. In the first session, my counsellor suggested taking a break from ttc for a few months: I was enraged. Really railed against it. Was so mad at her. Felt so insensitive and belittling. I told her about how I felt and we discussed it in a few sessions. She acknowledged my thoughts on it, but mentioned it again at least once in each session.

I warmed up to it.
I tried it and actually it helped a lot. I was really surprised.

I am not saying it's in anyway the same, just a story about how sometimes things that seem like the opposite to the help we wanted can help. I think you should try another session and start off with your feedback on how the last session made you feel & see what happens. If that doesn't help, a change of person to deal with who uses a different style of counselling might be a good move. Good luck!

@Midnightpharma can you change your therapist for the next sessions?

I can see why you found the phrasing patronising, and as if she was invalidating your difficulties.

I think neurotypical people can see the benefits and qualities of autistic thinking. Clarity, and a lack of desire to manipulate others, focus, etc. So yes, autism could be seen as a very quality way to be...however...the neurotypical world is causing you huge stress and pain, as it does for so many. And that is not ok. But possibly give the therapist one more chance, as she is not necessarily minimising your pain, and will now focus on it with you?

The word disabled isn't a negative one. It means you are navigating a world not designed for you. Whether in a wheelchair, blind, part of the Deaf community or neurominority, the world isn't designed for us and therefore we are disabled by it. Disability as a word also has a community with it, you find support and other people through it. It is frustrating hearing people say "I am not" "my child is not"

Using words like differently abled, super power, and so many other society friendly words takes away from the challenges people face daily.

With physical disability the physical world isn't designed with you in mind much of the time, the same goes for being autistic, dyslexic or the myriad of other neurodiversity conditions. Lights are too bright, music is too loud, you are expected to act/be a certain way, read documents in a meeting in x minutes and the list goes on. All of these things are disabling as they don't allow you the equitable and inclusive experience of the world.