To ask at what age were your children the most expensive?

[Invisiblewoman1]

I am trying to plan and prepare for being a single parent. I think the under 5 (childcare) and then teenage years are prob most expensive. Am I totally wrong?!

For us, it’s university!

We worked opposite shifts so avoided childcare costs throughout the younger years. Teenage years haven’t been too bad, apart from computers, our dses are relatively low maintenance.

Now though we have one at University and another one going this year. We currently top up accommodation costs and pay £100 a week living costs. No option for Ds1 to work due to intensive course. That will be multiplied by 2 next year so £800 every 4 weeks just to keep our kids at university😱

Incidental costs if visiting and additional fuel costs of up drop offs and pick ups mount up too. Ds1 is only a couple of hours away, DS2 might be 350 miles away so there will be hotels and overnight stays as well.

Yes definitely older teens. I have one at university and that's very expensive, I could have 3 in uni at the same time, no idea how we're going to manage that.

For us the ages of 13-16 are proving expensive as they outgrow everything every two weeks it seems, eat like horses and are no longer charmed by a nice trip to the park or camping holiday but require more expensive activitiesif they are to grace us with their uncomplaining presence. I suspect though that the uni years will be the worst.

Uni... £££!

University- surely they can take loans?

They can for the fees but depending on your household income maintenance loans are tapered and parents are expected to fund the gap, for families over a certain threshold it's quite a big gap! If the OP is low income the costs shouldn't be as high.

The pre-school years are a killer financially. It’s just the fact that childcare costs often nearly outstrip your salary (for me anyway,) & even when they reach 3 & you qualify for the Govt. funding lots of childcare providers also want a top-up. I crunched the figures recently & my actual take-home after childcare fees is £10.00 per day. How can it possibly get worse financially than that!!!

Teens. Girls need new bras all the time. School stuff, hairdressers, art equipment, tech and more tech. It’s never ending.

Haven’t got to driving lessons yet😭

You’re right, childcare is an expensive part but you may be eligible for financial help there, I don’t know. Up to a certain age you don’t have to spend much on them to have a fun day, they’re pretty easily pleased. But once they hit early to mid teens everything they need and want tends to be very expensive - trips, parties, clothes, computers for school. Even when they get a part time job they may be saving up for something specific so you still need to buy the other stuff for them.

School books and uniforms hit us hard when the eldest started secondary, it was an absolute eye opener and that lead us into buying adult sized clothes but yes childcare when they're younger is a shocker too. I don't think there is an age, like someone said speaks and troughs! I always despair of people who say they chose not to have kids because of cost- nobody can truly afford kids, you budget and work and have ups and downs.

@DontKeepTheFaith

For us, it’s university!

We worked opposite shifts so avoided childcare costs throughout the younger years. Teenage years haven’t been too bad, apart from computers, our dses are relatively low maintenance.

Now though we have one at University and another one going this year. We currently top up accommodation costs and pay £100 a week living costs. No option for Ds1 to work due to intensive course. That will be multiplied by 2 next year so £800 every 4 weeks just to keep our kids at university😱

Incidental costs if visiting and additional fuel costs of up drop offs and pick ups mount up too. Ds1 is only a couple of hours away, DS2 might be 350 miles away so there will be hotels and overnight stays as well.

I find this quite reassuring as childcare now is less than £800pcm so doesn’t seem too bad!

Adults at university - most expensive by a country mile .

Wow wow wow!

Thanks all!

Amazing what you are all doing. Wow!

I will have no regular support for childcare but I will have people I can call on in an emergency and who will help with practical things like meals, washing etc in the early days. But, I will have to pay full time childcare costs as I can’t pay the mortgage if I don’t work. So I’ve worked it out to be roughly £1200 a month for full time. There are no vouchers anymore so I was thinking if I can get through the 4 pre school years then nothing will cost that much! It won’t go down to zero obviously as I may need some after school clubs and they may have hobbies etc
School trips is a big one I hadn’t thought of tbh. And so many things a lot of you mention are wonderful but as a single parent I could say no to - like holidays with friends, a car and insurance on my car, a horse and the space rocket

I honestly think every year they cost more!

Teenage boys eat a lot and also grow out of everything quickly. Men size shoes, trainers and football boots seem to be disproportionately expensive.

I would think 18-21. My eldest is 17 and that's expensive with adult clothing, footwear, sportswear, gym membership, pocket money, driving lessons, extra-curricular activities, tuition, transport, school trips, phone. Just one book for one of his A levels cost £50! I'm pretty sure this will increase when she goes to uni though.

I honestly think every year they cost more!

Teenage boys eat a lot and also grow out of everything quickly. Men size shoes, trainers and football boots seem to be disproportionately expensive.

Two young ones at nursery cost £2.5k per month - not even full time. Aside from growing fast and the constant need for new clothes, different age-appropriate tots and all the baby equipment (car seats, cots, buggy etc etc)... The childcare cost alone was absolutely insane.

I expect them to need decent pocket money and tech and clothes etc as teens but can't see it being a fixed minimum cost of £2.5k per month tbh.

Childcare cost before starting school then wrap round in primary and holiday care then the teen wanting stuff years.

@cjpark

I would think 18-21. My eldest is 17 and that's expensive with adult clothing, footwear, sportswear, gym membership, pocket money, driving lessons, extra-curricular activities, tuition, transport, school trips, phone. Just one book for one of his A levels cost £50! I'm pretty sure this will increase when she goes to uni though.

See I still can't see this adding up to £1200-£1300 per month per child. So while more expensive than the inbetween years, for those of us who have had to pay for childcare I can't see teenage/ young adulthood times being more expensive. I guess potentially through university if they need subsidising, or for house deposits but then that's not a monthly cost as such and would be saved up over years.

Ii would say nursery till 5 and 16 up through to uni years have been the most expensive so far!!! Learning to drive, car insurance and the uni in general and my daughter worked from 16 to help pay towards it still £££ for us to support her.
Throw in a school ski trip during school year 10!

@Invisiblewoman1

Wow wow wow!

Thanks all!

Amazing what you are all doing. Wow!

I will have no regular support for childcare but I will have people I can call on in an emergency and who will help with practical things like meals, washing etc in the early days. But, I will have to pay full time childcare costs as I can’t pay the mortgage if I don’t work. So I’ve worked it out to be roughly £1200 a month for full time. There are no vouchers anymore so I was thinking if I can get through the 4 pre school years then nothing will cost that much! It won’t go down to zero obviously as I may need some after school clubs and they may have hobbies etc
School trips is a big one I hadn’t thought of tbh. And so many things a lot of you mention are wonderful but as a single parent I could say no to - like holidays with friends, a car and insurance on my car, a horse and the space rocket

Lol. I am a lone parent and my son is saving his pocket money to build his own space rocket. 🚀 He keeps asking if he has enough yet and I told him to ask Elon Musk.

@Change123today

Ii would say nursery till 5 and 16 up through to uni years have been the most expensive so far!!! Learning to drive, car insurance and the uni in general and my daughter worked from 16 to help pay towards it still £££ for us to support her. Throw in a school ski trip during school year 10!

School ski trip? 🤣 Since when is that a thing? The biggest outing my (admittedly crap and now closed) secondary school did was take us to Chessington.

Late teens / driving / University years!

See I still can't see this adding up to £1200-£1300 per month per child

Have you seen how much teens eat?😭 And how much electricity these use gaming etc.

@ArseInTheCoOpWindow

See I still can't see this adding up to £1200-£1300 per month per child

Have you seen how much teens eat?😭 And how much electricity these use gaming etc.

What £1200-£1300 of additional cost per child just in food and electric? Obviously the normal household overheads like mortgage etc are still covered when they are young, so £300 per week extra per kid on food and electricity seems unlikely.

2 at university at the same time.