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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Turned my daughter away at nursery

122 replies

TiredoutMum93 · 13/12/2021 11:39

I can’t believe I’ve been treated like this. My two year old has just been told she can’t come in to nursery because the bill (paid by funding universal credit) is a week late. Bare in mind the evidence I uploaded was incorrect because the new manager gave me it wrong, I’ve had to resubmit everything again and it’s still incorrect. I’ve had no phone call this morning to let me know she’d be turned away. All the nursery nurses cowarded away from the door except her main one who turned her away after I showed her on my phone evidence that it’s being sorted out… the boss didn’t even come to tell me. No one let me know Friday. It’s a week late for one month and it’s not even my fault. They were fully aware and as far as I knew they had no issues. I’ve phoned them and the boss was like we can sort this out and I’ve told them I’m moving her as they’ve treated her this way. I understand bills but a week late for some bill that wasn’t even my fault because it was incorrect. Im so upset and more so because my daughter loves it there. I feel like it’s so harsh.

OP posts:
incornerreading · 13/12/2021 12:02

Sounds like it’s very poorly managed. Would you change nurseries or is your dd happy there?

Hankunamatata · 13/12/2021 12:04

Is it a chain?

SnugKnights · 13/12/2021 12:05

I’m not surprised you’re annoyed I’d be furious!

mumwon · 13/12/2021 12:05

complaint by email & OFSTED?

Original poster
TiredoutMum93 · 13/12/2021 12:11

She’s super settled and has a best friend too. It’s so upsetting. The manager has messaged me and I’ve replied saying I’m moving her. It’s not even my fault. I’m so upset

OP posts:
Original poster
TiredoutMum93 · 13/12/2021 12:13

No it’s not a chain. Normally a lovely nursery and considerate but a new manager so I’m thinking it’s her

OP posts:
ResentfulAF · 13/12/2021 12:21

Unfair though this has been, are you sure you want to move your daughter if she's happy there?
Could you have a discussion with manager or whoever to resolve this and ensure it doesn't happen again?

DPotter · 13/12/2021 12:22

I get your upset and annoyed but moving your DD isn't going to help.

Go back to the manager and tell her the reason the payment is late is because she gave you the wrong information and you expect her to sort it out so that your DD can come into nursery tomorrow.

storminateacupagain · 13/12/2021 12:29

I think l would be complaining to the owners. They have lost business due to the managers incompetence.
I am sure they wont be impressed.

2TurtleDovesInARow · 13/12/2021 12:36

I would reconsider moving her. It's been handled very very poorly and you should complain but it sounds a bit like you're cutting your nose to spite your face. Sorry you're having a difficult time with it though Flowers

Original poster
TiredoutMum93 · 13/12/2021 12:36

I really don’t want to move her but it speaks volumes if they told her she couldn’t go in at the door. If there was an issue surely they should have rang or let me know before getting there. I just find it quite heartless. The manager/owner has emailed saying an incident like this can be forgotten etc which is clearly blaming me and she’s asking for a resoloution. I’ve sent a fat email back stating the facts that because of their incorrect and late bills and they didn’t let me know we’d be refused I’m removing her. I suppose it depends on her response and an apology for a misunderstanding.

OP posts:
OneRuleForThem · 13/12/2021 12:37

I’ve phoned them and the boss was like we can sort this out

What is the problem? It’s not your fault nor the nursery’s fault. And the boss has told you they can sort it out. And now you’re tantrumming and saying you are going to take your daughter away even though you’ve said she is happy and has made a friend there because they won’t let her attend for free. Stop overreacting and listen to what they actually have to say first.

Original poster
TiredoutMum93 · 13/12/2021 12:38

But then I’ve already made up my mind Sad

OP posts:
nanbread · 13/12/2021 12:41

I think you'd be cutting off your nose to spite your face taking her out.

Ask for an emergency call today and talk to them. Over email is awful for things like this.

ZoBo123 · 13/12/2021 12:42

Ask to see the policy in payments. Most nurseries are understanding and offer flexibility. It shouldn't affect your child's attendance. If they turned away parents than they couldn't work and the nursery wouldn't be getting paid so doesn't make good business sense.

DingADingADingDong · 13/12/2021 12:43

Don't cut off your nose to spite your face
Listen to what they have to say. It could be to do with the insurance or anything
Not a pleasant experience but if your daughter is settled and has made friends it seems a shame

DPotter · 13/12/2021 12:43

Then you call her, not email or text, and say if they can sort it out, you would like to retain your DD place as she is settled there. Say you're upset at the way the non payment was handled and this was why you said you wished to remove DD. But now you've had time to think about it and you would like DD to stay.

They may not have handled this well, but you have reacted poorly too. Time to eat a bit of humble pie and meet them half way

irene9 · 13/12/2021 12:44

Are you moving her now just to spite them?
You can change your mind you know. If she's happy there then I'd do whatever I could to resolve it.
Don't let your own moods dictate it.
Did you let them know straightaway as soon as you realised the application was bungled?
Or did you do nothing and just hope it'd be fine.

Capricopia · 13/12/2021 12:45

YANBU, that’s appalling. I’m so sorry you were treated that way.

Comefromaway · 13/12/2021 12:45

f the payment was delayed because the new manager gave you the wrong information (presumably you then had to submit that information to UC and it was rejected) then I can totally see why you are annoyed.

Things like this are a reflection on how someone sees you and your dd as customers. There were better ways to handle it such as a call to you in advance.

Therefore if this is indicative of the general ethos I would be moving her.

TheViewFromTheCheapSeats · 13/12/2021 12:46

I’m going to go against the grain and say I’d also remove my child.
They are aware of the emotional impact of being turned away, it’s displays a lack of care towards the child and shows they do not put the child at the centre of what they do. It’s not the action of a caring environment is it?
It could well be an indicator of a general lack of care, or failure to put the child first- particularly when issues arrive.
If you have other local options maybe explore them. She’s going to settle at that age and make other friends. Keep in touch for play dates with ones here.

MrsMo21 · 13/12/2021 12:46

I know you’re upset and you have every right to be; getting turned away at the door is horrendous for you and your child.

Don’t punish your daughter for their mistake. Take a deep breath, ask for a meeting and ensure that this doesn’t happen to other families by discussing their policies etc.
You’re hurting your daughters progress and wellbeing by moving her is anger; she has a best friend, she’s happy.

Comefromaway · 13/12/2021 12:47

@TheViewFromTheCheapSeats

I’m going to go against the grain and say I’d also remove my child. They are aware of the emotional impact of being turned away, it’s displays a lack of care towards the child and shows they do not put the child at the centre of what they do. It’s not the action of a caring environment is it? It could well be an indicator of a general lack of care, or failure to put the child first- particularly when issues arrive. If you have other local options maybe explore them. She’s going to settle at that age and make other friends. Keep in touch for play dates with ones here.
You said it so much better than I did.
Marvellousmadness · 13/12/2021 12:47

*I’ve phoned them and the boss was like we can sort this out

What is the problem? It’s not your fault nor the nursery’s fault. And the boss has told you they can sort it out. And now you’re tantrumming and saying you are going to take your daughter away even though you’ve said she is happy and has made a friend there because they won’t let her attend for free. Stop overreacting and listen to what they actually have to say first.*
^^this

5keletor · 13/12/2021 12:47

Saying you're moving her immediately was an overreaction, I think. Better to speak to them, and see if it could be handled better in future should it happen again.
If you're without childcare while finding a new nursery, which can take time, you'll need more time off work/have to find someone to look after your daughter until you find a new place.