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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Turned my daughter away at nursery

122 replies

TiredoutMum93 · 13/12/2021 11:39

I can’t believe I’ve been treated like this. My two year old has just been told she can’t come in to nursery because the bill (paid by funding universal credit) is a week late. Bare in mind the evidence I uploaded was incorrect because the new manager gave me it wrong, I’ve had to resubmit everything again and it’s still incorrect. I’ve had no phone call this morning to let me know she’d be turned away. All the nursery nurses cowarded away from the door except her main one who turned her away after I showed her on my phone evidence that it’s being sorted out… the boss didn’t even come to tell me. No one let me know Friday. It’s a week late for one month and it’s not even my fault. They were fully aware and as far as I knew they had no issues. I’ve phoned them and the boss was like we can sort this out and I’ve told them I’m moving her as they’ve treated her this way. I understand bills but a week late for some bill that wasn’t even my fault because it was incorrect. Im so upset and more so because my daughter loves it there. I feel like it’s so harsh.

OP posts:

Foolsrule · 13/12/2021 13:28

They are responsible for the way they handled the situation though. The little girl should never have made it to the door.

All that said, I agree with @7eleven - none of this should have happened in front of your child.

Comefromaway · 13/12/2021 13:28

I agree Fools, but in this instance the sole reason for non payment was that the nursery manager gave the OP the wrong information.

Topseyt · 13/12/2021 13:28

It was very unprofessional to publicly stop you and your child at the door like that when they could have just phoned you last week to mention that there had been a problem with the payment. How humiliating for you. It could have been sorted out much better that way and I think you should tell them that.

Doing what they did is hardly the hallmark of a caring childcare environment. Tell them that too. To be honest, it would make me consider my options too. Of course I would not want to move my child unnecessarily, but could I trust them after that?

turnaroundtime · 13/12/2021 13:29

@Foolsrule

I sympathize to some extent but nurseries are not charities. They run on tiny margins and many have been severely impacted by Covid. Lots have closed permanently. If you haven’t paid, your child can’t attend. If the third party who pays for your child, UC, hasn’t paid, you can’t attend. That’s not your child’s fault but it’s not the nursery’s fault either. They can’t pay their staff if parents don’t pay. Now, as the UC error appears to have come from incorrect info being given by the nursery manager, I can see why this is galling and you’re annoyed. BUT - if I was a nursery owner, I’d much rather take money from parents directly in the same way that landlords don’t like to accept benefits because of situations like this. Why should their cash flow be interrupted? Some simply can’t afford for this to happen.

If the delay in payment is due to the nursery giving incorrect info then it's a bit rich to say you aren't surprised they didn't want payment through benefits. A more rational idea would be for them to stop making errors and send the correct info

LittleDandelionClock · 13/12/2021 13:30

Oh that's so horrible and mean @TiredoutMum93 I am so sorry you have been treated like this. That's so out-of-order... Can't add any more advice to what you have already had, but I just wanted to give you my sympathy.

Foolsrule · 13/12/2021 13:30

I know @Comefromaway - it’s difficult. I have seen many parents play the ‘they can’t turn cute little Timmy away’ line over the years though. I don’t think this was handled properly but there has to be a limit. Both nurseries and childminders can’t afford to mind children for free.

Original poster

TiredoutMum93 · 13/12/2021 13:32

Thank you x

OP posts:

christmaspavlova · 13/12/2021 13:33

I would be furious and deeply embarrassed. They really did not handle the situation well at all. They really should have phoned you and not embarrassed you at drop off time. I'm very sorry op.

Original poster

TiredoutMum93 · 13/12/2021 13:34

Thank you. I’m more sad for my daughter really as getting the bus back and her being confused made me feel awful.

OP posts:

justasking111 · 13/12/2021 13:37

Is this causing problems with your employer??

Topseyt · 13/12/2021 13:38

@Foolsrule

I know *@Comefromaway* - it’s difficult. I have seen many parents play the ‘they can’t turn cute little Timmy away’ line over the years though. I don’t think this was handled properly but there has to be a limit. Both nurseries and childminders can’t afford to mind children for free.

I understand what you are saying, but surely a better way to have handled this would have been a phone call to OP last week to let her know there had been a problem, to identify what it was and to agree a timeframe (fairly short) in which it could be sorted out.

At the end of the day, if the nursery supplied incorrect information for the UC application, such that it has had to be redone, then that is their fault. They do need to acknowledge that and allow time for the new application to be put in place. If they had supplied the correct information in the first place then they would not be in this situation.

girlmom21 · 13/12/2021 13:38

@Comefromaway

Two year olds don't have best friends!

Nonsense. My two year old has two best friends at nursery. They've been her best friends for quite a while.

Glentheredbeakbattleostrich · 13/12/2021 13:39

While the nursery haven't handled things well, I know that 'no pay no play' policies are increasingly common.

As a childminder I have this policy. Invoices are issued on the 20th to be in my account by the last day of the month. Of a parent hasn't paid by the 7th (of the following month) they are turned away. This is after 2 reminders. I have had to do it once and i did feel bad about it but equally, my daughter was missing out because of someone not paying their bill.

And with Universal Credit you pay the bill then reclaim it. I have several families who get help and have to provide a signed receipt to say they have paid their bill before the money is repaid to them, so a bit confused by that bit!

girlmom21 · 13/12/2021 13:39

Don't move her out of spite as she'd be the only one missing out.

Ask them to handle the situation more sensibly in future. They've apologised. Let it go now.

Theremoresefulday · 13/12/2021 13:56

I hope you can get it sorted x

Kennykenkencat · 13/12/2021 13:57

OneRuleForThem

I’ve phoned them and the boss was like we can sort this out

What is the problem? It’s not your fault nor the nursery’s fault

But it was the nurseries fault

NellieBertram · 13/12/2021 14:01

Don't you have to pay your bill upfront and then universal credit refund you?

What information did the manager give that was wrong?

justasking111 · 13/12/2021 14:11

@justasking111

Is this causing problems with your employer??

Can your employer give you an advance on your salary?

TellingBone · 13/12/2021 14:11

@NellieBertram

Don't you have to pay your bill upfront and then universal credit refund you?

What information did the manager give that was wrong?

That's how I understand it too. Do you mean you paid upfront and when you uploaded the nursery details to Universal Credit to claim it back it didn't go through?

RobinPenguins · 13/12/2021 14:14

I think you’re overreacting, they’ve apologised and your daughter is settled and happy there. It’s not their fault either, if they haven’t been paid then your child can’t attend, the same as for anyone else who pays their own fees.
Their error is perhaps in the way it’s been communicated but if they’ve apologised for that then you’d be being hasty to the detriment of your daughter to pull her out.

Couchbettato · 13/12/2021 14:15

My son's nursery doesn't provide invoices that fit the criteria to evidence payment so my work coach said he'd accept bank statements.

Is this something you're able to do so then you don't need to rely on nursery for evidence when they're clearly incapable?

Soontobe60 · 13/12/2021 14:18

@TiredoutMum93

She’s super settled and has a best friend too. It’s so upsetting. The manager has messaged me and I’ve replied saying I’m moving her. It’s not even my fault. I’m so upset

Don’t cut your nose off to spite your face. If she’s settled and she loves it there, keep her there! Just speak to the manager again and point out why you’re upset. But do understand that they have overheads that they need to pay out for, so can’t just wait for money that’s not gone in.

ToughTittyWhompus · 13/12/2021 14:19

My wrap around care is funded by Student Finance. They have to log in and put in a request for funding, which I then approve and they get paid immediately.

They’ve got a new manager and every week I get a phone call telling me I’m late paying and they won’t take my DC that week.

Every week I remind her that it’s on her to put the claim in.

She’s an arse every single time too.

I’ve used them for 3 years and have never, ever had them call me about late payments until this year.

Nanny0gg · 13/12/2021 14:21

@Comefromaway

Two year olds don't have best friends!

They often have one particular child that they like to be with/play with more than others.

What else would you like to call it, for simplicity's sake?

Rosebel · 13/12/2021 14:33

@Foolsrule

This I have worked in two nurseries that had to close because parents weren't paying in time or in some cases at all. I know it's not your fault but if they haven't been paid then they can refuse care for your child.

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