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Original poster

Turned my daughter away at nursery

122 replies

TiredoutMum93 · 13/12/2021 11:39

I can’t believe I’ve been treated like this. My two year old has just been told she can’t come in to nursery because the bill (paid by funding universal credit) is a week late. Bare in mind the evidence I uploaded was incorrect because the new manager gave me it wrong, I’ve had to resubmit everything again and it’s still incorrect. I’ve had no phone call this morning to let me know she’d be turned away. All the nursery nurses cowarded away from the door except her main one who turned her away after I showed her on my phone evidence that it’s being sorted out… the boss didn’t even come to tell me. No one let me know Friday. It’s a week late for one month and it’s not even my fault. They were fully aware and as far as I knew they had no issues. I’ve phoned them and the boss was like we can sort this out and I’ve told them I’m moving her as they’ve treated her this way. I understand bills but a week late for some bill that wasn’t even my fault because it was incorrect. Im so upset and more so because my daughter loves it there. I feel like it’s so harsh.

OP posts:
Letsallscreamatthesistene · 13/12/2021 14:34

My 20mo very much has another boy at nursery that he prefers to be around. They always play together. Id call it a best friend.

Maddiemoosmum0203 · 13/12/2021 14:40

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn by MNHQ at the poster's request.

RedWingBoots · 13/12/2021 15:51

@Comefromaway

Two year olds don't have best friends!
Mine did at her CMs.

She left to go to school and my DD still talks about her.

drpet49 · 13/12/2021 15:56

* What is the problem? It’s not your fault nor the nursery’s fault. And the boss has told you they can sort it out. And now you’re tantrumming and saying you are going to take your daughter away even though you’ve said she is happy and has made a friend there because they won’t let her attend for free. Stop overreacting and listen to what they actually have to say first.*

^This. You need to calm down

Tink626 · 13/12/2021 15:57

Two year olds don't have best friends!

Yes they do! I'm 40 and met my best friend at playgroup when I was 2.

NameChangeCity123 · 13/12/2021 16:00

This is awful, they could have told you on Friday so you could have made other arrangements at least. I would t move your daughter though, that seems to just be punishing her because you're annoyed with the nursery

Queenbee77 · 13/12/2021 16:24

Dont move her! They will think twice in treating you like that again. Government want mums to work! They should sort things so you do t get in this situation. Its disgraceful.

Colin7691 · 14/12/2021 07:52

@Foolsrule

I sympathize to some extent but nurseries are not charities. They run on tiny margins and many have been severely impacted by Covid. Lots have closed permanently. If you haven’t paid, your child can’t attend. If the third party who pays for your child, UC, hasn’t paid, you can’t attend. That’s not your child’s fault but it’s not the nursery’s fault either. They can’t pay their staff if parents don’t pay. Now, as the UC error appears to have come from incorrect info being given by the nursery manager, I can see why this is galling and you’re annoyed. BUT - if I was a nursery owner, I’d much rather take money from parents directly in the same way that landlords don’t like to accept benefits because of situations like this. Why should their cash flow be interrupted? Some simply can’t afford for this to happen.
If I was a nursery owner I would much rather my staff did their jobs properly and billed people correctly so I got paid on time and not have to turn little children away at the door.

I also know that if I owned a nursery and was in a situation like this, where it was my staff's fault the fee's hadn't been paid, I would be absolutely fuming if they had done this, theres absolutely no reason why they couldn't have rang the OP the day before and asked her not to come until they were paid if that were the stance I was taking. If that wasn't done, I would let them in that day regardless.

Turning the child away like they did does not make any difference to cash flow or paying staff, saying no entry didn't suddenly give them an extra £200 that week did it?

Porcupineintherough · 14/12/2021 07:57

That's outrageous. Both the decision (given that it was their cock up) and the way it was handled. I'd be looking for another nursery too.

WhatTimeIsItMrGinola · 14/12/2021 09:23

I dont think you are "cutting off your nose to spite your face" at all in finding a new place, I think you are protecting your DD from being turned away in the future!

If this is their policy then they are incredibly hardhearted and their money first attitude is very sad.

How in earth could someone turn a 2 year old away at the door?? Unbelievable!! At the very least they could have brought you in and discussed it as you had got all the way there with her.

Mushypeasandchipstogo · 14/12/2021 09:39

I have some sympathy for you BUT my children never attended a nursery where we didn’t have to pay a month in advance.

Suzanne999 · 14/12/2021 17:58

If you spoke with a manager, then there’s an owner you can contact.
Either write or email the owner, how pleased you’ve been in the past, your daughter settled, how you’ve come to expect such high standards of care ( both physical and emotional) from this nursery because of past experience. And then write what happened. Emphasise your shock and sadness.

Absolutely ludicrous behaviour for a bill one week late, especially in these times when everything seems to take longer to get sorted. Good luck.

dusky777 · 14/12/2021 18:05

Ofsted aren't there to sort out payment problems.

viques · 14/12/2021 18:22

@TiredoutMum93

But then I’ve already made up my mind Sad
Then un make it. This is about your daughters happiness and well-being, not you having a flounce.
Mummabug18 · 14/12/2021 18:25

@Marvellousmadness

*I’ve phoned them and the boss was like we can sort this out

What is the problem? It’s not your fault nor the nursery’s fault. And the boss has told you they can sort it out. And now you’re tantrumming and saying you are going to take your daughter away even though you’ve said she is happy and has made a friend there because they won’t let her attend for free. Stop overreacting and listen to what they actually have to say first.*
^^this

NOT THIS!! They don't get to leave you in the lurch with childcare! If it's late they should have PREwarned. We were turned away once because DS had had Calpol and telling him we had to go home again was awful! If it was anyones fault, it was mine and luckily I wasn't working. The OPs situation was entirely avoidable by the nursery. Cock ups happen but it's up to them to keep an eye on monies and raise issues as soon as possible with the least possible disruption and upset to ALL involved. The fact that as many staff as possible "cowarded" away tells me they also thought it badly handled.

As for making up your mind, there's still a chance to change it based on your DDs best interests should the nursery choose to attempt to be part of a resolution now.

cansu · 14/12/2021 18:36

I don't understand why you didn't ask to speak to the manager when they turned you away. In any case you have over reacted by moving her when you didn't really want to do so. You now have to find a new nursery and re settle your daughter. You would have been better off ringing to sort out the bill issue. You could have made the point that they handled it badly. Now, you have shot yourself in the foot.

Mumontour85 · 14/12/2021 18:43

Holy fuck, I've only just paid my September invoice from my boys childminder 🤣🤦🏼‍♀️

BingBongToTheMoon · 14/12/2021 18:51

Sadly I’ve had to turn lots of children at the door (0-5 year olds) for non payment of fees.
It’s certainly not pleasant for the staff to have to do this. It’s a last resort, but you wouldn’t go into Tesco and walk out with a full trolley or walk out the hairdressers without paying.
Very seldom was it the Government’s fault because they had messed up the payments, we understood that this was out with the parents control and told them to phone the department and sort it out. It was always resolved quickly.

user33323 · 14/12/2021 18:57

I don't think you are over reacting at all. I'd remove my child too. Such poor management has upset your child and could have had repercussions for your own job/income so close to Christmas. Even if it was your mistake and not theirs, the fact they didn't tell you before you paid for the bus and so you could prepare your child or male alternative arrangements is unforgivable. The fact that it is their mistake makes it even worse. I couldn't trust putting my child in a nursery with a manager like that.

user33323 · 14/12/2021 18:58

@BingBongToTheMoon

Sadly I’ve had to turn lots of children at the door (0-5 year olds) for non payment of fees. It’s certainly not pleasant for the staff to have to do this. It’s a last resort, but you wouldn’t go into Tesco and walk out with a full trolley or walk out the hairdressers without paying. Very seldom was it the Government’s fault because they had messed up the payments, we understood that this was out with the parents control and told them to phone the department and sort it out. It was always resolved quickly.
But it was the nursery managers error that caused the late payment, and they didn't bother to call or email in advance of turning them away.
Stompythedinosaur · 14/12/2021 18:58

Threatening to move her is quite petty really when you could just sort the situation out.

I agree they should have informed you beforehand, but it isn't unreasonable to withhold care when they haven't been paid.

ancientgran · 14/12/2021 19:03

@dusky777

Ofsted aren't there to sort out payment problems.
I think the might be interested in the child being turned away at the door. There was no need for that, if she was going to be refused care that day the parent should have been told in advance.
Colin7691 · 14/12/2021 19:03

@Stompythedinosaur

Threatening to move her is quite petty really when you could just sort the situation out.

I agree they should have informed you beforehand, but it isn't unreasonable to withhold care when they haven't been paid.

It isn't unreasonable to withhold care when they haven't been paid due to their error? Really?
ancientgran · 14/12/2021 19:04

@BingBongToTheMoon

Sadly I’ve had to turn lots of children at the door (0-5 year olds) for non payment of fees. It’s certainly not pleasant for the staff to have to do this. It’s a last resort, but you wouldn’t go into Tesco and walk out with a full trolley or walk out the hairdressers without paying. Very seldom was it the Government’s fault because they had messed up the payments, we understood that this was out with the parents control and told them to phone the department and sort it out. It was always resolved quickly.
Why wait till the child is at the door. You must have known you were going to refuse them care so why not let them know in advance.
Peppapigforlife · 14/12/2021 19:10

İt would bother me too, as to how my daughter was going to be treated, if they're capable of turning a small child away from playing with her friends, without maturely dealing with the situation before said child turned up. My dd's nursery just add a ten percent fee onto late payments and I've always been a bit late with fees and they don't say anything. İ think the staff would be mortified at the thought of turning away one of the children at the door.
I'm not saying pull her out, but just see how they deal with it going forward and I'd ask them to apologise to your daughter too, because she is going to feel confused as to why she was singled out, when she goes back.

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