To think there’s no way you can wipe your bum clean?

[crazykoo124]

Born in a mixed race family with a Middle Eastern mother, I was always taught to wash my downstairs with water after no 1s and 2s. We have a built in mini shower head thing to just spray our bums clean, and before that we used to have a jug sort of thing.

I’ve always wondered, do you genuinely think your bum is clean if you only wipe?

The way I see it, if someone dropped a few drops of urine or fecal matter on my flooring at home, I’d scrub it clean and atleast use some water. No way would I give it a wipe clean with a dry wad of tissue! So how can your skin be clean….

Am I missing something? Do you wet the tissue before use?

Sorry for the silly question! Have always wondered.

Wiping just with paper, just isn't very hygienic

But how hygienic do we need our bums to be? They just stay covered with at least two layers of fabric until it's time to bathe. Nothing get spread around (unlike if people are taking sports bottles into public loos and splashing water around).

What you need is the three seashells

But how hygienic do we need our bums to be?

This is what I can't get my head around, unless someone has a keen interest in rimming I'm not sure why an arsehole needs to be sterile.

This thread is hilarious 😂
For those who use jugs of water etc, how do you prevent getting your underwear and clothing damp? It all sounds very awkward. Surely only possible in your own home. What do you do when out and about?

Dry wipe, recycled loo roll. Healthy attitude to my body and a clean-smelling derriere. Life is good.

Omg I didn’t expect this many responses !!

Reading all of these is quite interesting because it seems as though we all do sort of different things (tissue/wipes/wet tissue/water).

And yes for those who have asked, it is very difficult to do outside my home which is why I will avoid by all means needing a poo outside my home. I can wee and wipe no problem when I’m at work.

Not sure why some people are getting so offended though, we all do things slightly differently.

Sorry for the gross thread! Not the nicest thread to read in the morning.

@Justheretoaskaquestion91 As good a time as any. Wanted to elevate the tone of the thread

I'm another one who feels the need to shower after a poo, fortunately my toilet routine and shower routine perfectly coincide most of the time, I.e. First thing in the morning and another quick one just before going to bed.

I'm happy to wipe my bum with dry toilet paper in between my daily showers. Unless you're going to be indulging in some rimming what does it matter?

I don't wipe at all. I just let the poo dry and cake up and then use a brush to sweep it off into a special cat litter tray that I keep on the kitchen floor.

Sometimes I have to go out to the garden and be assisted with a firm broom.

@StrychnineInTheSandwiches

I'm happy to wipe my bum with dry toilet paper in between my daily showers. Unless you're going to be indulging in some rimming what does it matter?

Daily showers? Gross. I shower at least five times a day. More if I've gone to the toilet, eaten a meal, or drawn breath.

I use toilet paper and toilet wipes too. X

All this talk of wipes is so depressing.

Do you not care about the planet?

@RedHot22

All this talk of wipes is so depressing.

Do you not care about the planet?

Clearly having a bum clean enough to eat off is more important.

Some weirdo is probably collecting all these arse cleaning descriptions for their wank bank 🤢

I'm with @TheVampiresWife - I autoclave myself after every toilet use. If I am caught short outside of the home, I douse myself with iodine and domestos from a sports bottle, then thoroughly scrub with a scourer.

@lisaandalan

I use toilet paper and toilet wipes too. X

To quote @RedHot22, all this talk of wipes is so depressing.

What's worse is some people here even admit to flushing them.

@ChristmasFluff

I'm with *@TheVampiresWife* - I autoclave myself after every toilet use. If I am caught short outside of the home, I douse myself with iodine and domestos from a sports bottle, then thoroughly scrub with a scourer.

A poster after my own heart. It's so reassuring to know that should the need arise, we can eat our supper off our arsecracks.

Although I'd use wire wool rather than a scourer, just to be on the safe side.

@DuchessSilver

I clean mine using the Organised Bum Method

😂😂😊

People soap their arseholes on the toilet?! God I'm such a grimey fucker. I must stink of shit.

I've always seen the hoses at international airports and imagined the horror show of shitty water splashing everywhere including up my bits and on my clothes. Or worse, a communal shit pipe touching mine.

I'm no Greta Thunberg but c'mon, fastidious bum people, don't use those awful wet wipes!

@crazykoo124 I'm not one of the offended, I have to say. This is one of the funniest threads I've read in ages! And weirdly interesting. Every day's a school day. I suppose bum cleanliness isn't something most of us discuss in real life

I would love to try one of those Japanese toilets that mists and sprays your bum. Probably powders it too and gives it a pep talk. So civilized.

@aurynne

Unless you're planning a sexual session with bum sex on the carts (in which case you just wash it beforehand), there is no need to have a sterile bumhole. There will always be a number of fecal bacteria around the anus regardless what we do. it does not harm us. It is normal. Humans were never meant to be sterile. No animal is. All other mammals walk around with a bit of poo around their anus. it is normal.

This. I mean, I don't walk around with tugnuts but how perfectly clean does my arsehole have to be?!

@Chunkymenrock

I always finish with a thorough wipe using a baby wipe. (Not flushed of course.)

Doesn't matter whether or not you flush it. It will still end up in landfill, and be there in 1000 years time.