To think there’s no way you can wipe your bum clean?

[crazykoo124]

Born in a mixed race family with a Middle Eastern mother, I was always taught to wash my downstairs with water after no 1s and 2s. We have a built in mini shower head thing to just spray our bums clean, and before that we used to have a jug sort of thing.

I’ve always wondered, do you genuinely think your bum is clean if you only wipe?

The way I see it, if someone dropped a few drops of urine or fecal matter on my flooring at home, I’d scrub it clean and atleast use some water. No way would I give it a wipe clean with a dry wad of tissue! So how can your skin be clean….

Am I missing something? Do you wet the tissue before use?

Sorry for the silly question! Have always wondered.

At home: I use wet tissue and shower gel to clean myself after a number 2.

Anywhere else: I use wet tissue and shower gel/hand gel if I have to.

I would not feel remotely clean if I wiped with dry tissue only.

I'm now morbidly interested......forget poo for a second, do all the wet wipe folk also have a wet wipe routine for their nostrils when they blow their nose?

My DH is from Southern Europe and is apalled that we don't use bidets. He washes his bum over the edge of the bath!! I'm another one who doesn't understand why your bum hole has to be sterile. Surely you wipe until the papers clean then there's no visible dirt left, you wear pants and trouser/skirt and you clean properly next time you have a shower. OK I know there will be germs there but there are germs all over your body (e.g. Your mouth is full of germs that can make other people ill!). It's not like most people you meet are going to see or sniff your bum hole!

@Lovinglife45

At home: I use wet tissue and shower gel to clean myself after a number 2.

Anywhere else: I use wet tissue and shower gel/hand gel if I have to.

I would not feel remotely clean if I wiped with dry tissue only.

Does hand-gel not give you a bit of ring sting?

All the PPs proud of their squeaky bums because they use wet wipes 🤨🤨 it's terrible for the environment just get a bidet spray thing like OP and be done with it.

Toilet paper is absolutely not the most hygienic option but for some reason in western culture it's 'good enough' 🤮

been awhile since we had a "How do you clean your bum" post

I'm not even sure why your bum has to be so pristine at all times. You wipe your bum, you pull your knicks up, and then you just leave it alone until you either have a shower, or another poo. It's not like you're constantly touching your bum hole with your hands, is it?

@ClemDanFango

Some weirdo is probably collecting all these arse cleaning descriptions for their wank bank 🤢

Speak for yourself.. you thought of it. Ahhahaha

I've never understood how you use a bidet - do you wipe clean with tissue and then use bidet? Does it just spray cold water on to your bum? Do you then dry with more tissue, or a towel? If you use a towel, do you have different ones for different family members?

It all seems a faff and if it's just cold water, it's not actually removing any germs.

@GoldenOldBoy

How do you dry off after a bum shower? Do you use lots of tissue or is there some sort of communal towel next to the bidet?

I want to know this too!

It really doesn't matter what you do as long as you do something. Half the world uses just toilet paper and last time I checked half the world didn't smell of shit or perish from unclean arseholitis.

Isn’t it funny how animals don’t have this problem? Why do their buttholes not need cleaning? I know they lick them clean but not all animals do.

I've never understood how you use a bidet - do you wipe clean with tissue and then use bidet? Does it just spray cold water on to your bum?
It’s got a plug, so it’s less about spraying and more about creating a little warm bum bath. Lower yourself in for a dip and let the warm water clean you – aka spread the poo from your bum hole throughout the water, so effectively spreading germs right across your bum cheeks. Then dry your germy bum on a towel – ideally put this on a heated radiator to more effectively diffuse poo germs throughout the room.

Hope that helped the poo trolls “finish”

People managed with leaves or squares of cut up newspaper - good quality 3 ply soft loo roll works fine. I'm not eating my lunch off my bum!

This thread is absolutely wild.

@hotmeatymilk

I've never understood how you use a bidet - do you wipe clean with tissue and then use bidet? Does it just spray cold water on to your bum? It’s got a plug, so it’s less about spraying and more about creating a little warm bum bath. Lower yourself in for a dip and let the warm water clean you – aka spread the poo from your bum hole throughout the water, so effectively spreading germs right across your bum cheeks. Then dry your germy bum on a towel – ideally put this on a heated radiator to more effectively diffuse poo germs throughout the room.

Hope that helped the poo trolls “finish”

I thought you're meant to use it like a running tap ? Not like a bath. You're meant to straddle the bidet. Open the tap at a pleasant temperature. Then take some soap, clean yourself with the water from the tap and the soap and then dry yourself with kitchen roll. Spray bidet with disinfectant afterwards and wipe clean with kitchen roll or whatever.

It is wild! The woman who posted saying she could smell the ‘unwiped ’ bum holes of her fellow participants in the yoga class was my favourite bonkers post of the year.

The anus is a sphincter which opens and extrudes slightly to allow stools out. In a healthy digestive tract, there's little/no residue. If you a regularly finding there is a lot of mess to wipe up consider changing your diet and your toileting position to find a healthier position to eliminate, eg squatting.

I thought you're meant to use it like a running tap ? Not like a bath.
But then why is there a plug hole to use it like a bath? The plot, and the water, thickens!

Last time I used a bidet was when I was about 10, to wash my feet.

He washes his bum over the edge of the bath!!

Oh that's gross. Does he was the bath afterwards?

@hotmeatymilk

I thought you're meant to use it like a running tap ? Not like a bath. But then why is there a plug hole to use it like a bath? The plot, and the water, thickens!

The water needs to go somewhere and it's like a sink.

Do you bathe your hands in the sink too ? Or do you just use the running tap to wash your hands ?

@vodkaredbullgirl

Last time I used a bidet was when I was about 10, to wash my feet.

Yes! So handy when sightseeing around Rome in the summer in sandals.

Oh, I don’t wash my hands.

@hotmeatymilk

Oh, I don’t wash my hands.

Same