To think there’s no way you can wipe your bum clean?

[crazykoo124]

Born in a mixed race family with a Middle Eastern mother, I was always taught to wash my downstairs with water after no 1s and 2s. We have a built in mini shower head thing to just spray our bums clean, and before that we used to have a jug sort of thing.

I’ve always wondered, do you genuinely think your bum is clean if you only wipe?

The way I see it, if someone dropped a few drops of urine or fecal matter on my flooring at home, I’d scrub it clean and atleast use some water. No way would I give it a wipe clean with a dry wad of tissue! So how can your skin be clean….

Am I missing something? Do you wet the tissue before use?

Sorry for the silly question! Have always wondered.

@WheekestLink

I got such a shock when I went to my first toilets in SE Asia but quickly came to realise that it's sooooo much cleaner to wash afterwards.

I couldn't understand how to use them, but this has prompted me to google. Now that I know, this would absolutely not work for me, unless the water comes out at the sort of pressure that would knock dried bird-shit off a car. By "not work" I mean it simply wouldn't get ride of 90% of the shit. I suppose I need a better diet, but in the mean time, the pressure of physical wiping will do a better job, albeit it's never perfect.

I'm kind if disappointed it won't work for me, as I hoped there was a better method than dry paper, and thought this would be. On the plus side, this thread is the first I've heard of Wype, and that sounds promising.

Ahhhh, life's too short to worry about shitty bums.

Here’s a thought. Dry loo paper is, in the grand scheme of humanity’s time on earth, a very, very recent invention. Before that, there was probably no wiping at all, unless with some random handy foliage, or some other such that was within arm’s reach.

People used to use squares of newspaper before toilet paper was invented. And before that, rags.

I wipe my bum until the paper comes away clean. And wash my bum every day before getting dressed. As I only use my bum for sitting on I think it’s fine. I would think that spraying water if you haven’t thoroughly wiped first carries a risk of getting faecal bacteria up the urinary tract.

Just wiping with loo roll is grim 🤢 have been using the very MN unfriendly wipes my whole life as it’s what my mother taught us to do. Also nice when on period. Had never heard of these Wype sprays or thought of using baby lotion - great ideas!

@OhPeeQueue

Which 'other part of your body'? confused Where are all these faeces ending up?

Obviously meant theoretically. If you got poo on your hands, would you wipe it with dry tissue? For example, carers May get poo on their arms when cleaning patients. You may get poo on your hands cleaning baby/toddler?

But you don’t use your bum for anything you might use your hands or arms for.

Ok, I just went for a poo and had this thread in mind. It was a bit soft so left quite a bit in the area to wipe. I cannot for the life of me work out how a gentle spray from a bidet or a bottle of water when out could possibly remove it all and leave the arse any cleaner than wiping it with paper. Neither of these methods is ideal if your partner is about to partake in some rimming, but it has to be much of a muchness in terms of making it cleaner than it was?

Before that, there was probably no wiping at all, unless with some random handy foliage, or some other such that was within arm’s reach.
This makes me think of Jilly Cooper romps and the men always wiping splooge off the women with handfuls of grass/hay/leaves.

@lanbro You might actually have just changed my life! (Wype order has been placed, is that too strange a Christmas present to myself?! 🤣)

Also for those of you who don't understand a shattaf, I could make some sarky passive aggressive comment but just look it up. It's really normal!

"But what do you do when you're away from home?" Sports bottle people, again look it up.

God there are some filthy mingers on this thread.

Caustic soda on a bit of sandpaper for me. I wouldn't go back, never felt fresher.

Depends if your poos are solid or loose/ diarrhoea type.

"But what do you do when you're away from home?" Sports bottle people, again look it up

People actually carry shitbottles with them when they're out and about?

Do you put the shitty nozzled bottle back in your bag after you've used it? Have you ever accidentally mistaken it for your drinks bottle?

Spraying it with water won't get rid of the germs either.
As long as my hands are hygienically clean then I'm not scared of some germs on my bum. I shower every day plus sometimes a bath at night and wear clean underwear every day.

Surely wiping with loo roll until it comes away clean is sufficient for a bum (whose sole purpose is to poo out of) is sufficient until your next shower. As a PP said, we don't touch things or eat with our bums, so who cares if there are germs around it for a few hours?

you wouldn’t just use toilet paper if you got poo on your hands

I don't eat with my bum, though. I wish I could, that'd be a brilliant party trick.

Bidet is the solution.

@Rubyupbeat

Not always 'just' a hygiene or cleanliness issue. My bottom becomes literally raw, to the point of bleeding, if not washed after each movement, this has occurred since I've got older. Indoors it's okay, as I have the facility to clean myself, but I have to carry toilet tissue wipes when out, I hate having to use them, but its the only way.

I'd see a doctor about that

I use Dettol and a scouring sponge.

Sports bottle people, again look it up.

I will forever snigger every time I see someone walking around with a sports bottle from this day forth.

I don't tend to shit all over my arse. It's perfectly clean with wiping thanks very much. No skid marks here.

@HarlanPepper

This obsession with other people's arseholes is peak Mumsnet. Read a book or something instead.

I’m in the GPs waiting room (DD has an infected patch of eczema) and I just pissed myself so loud

Spraying water at turds without soap of some sort, whether on the floor or on an arse, sounds jank as fuck. The jug doesn't sound as bad but still it feels like water just spreads the poo around. Or am I misunderstanding and you keep flannels and soap by the bidet?

People are so offended. It's hilarious.

Wiping just with paper, just isn't very hygienic. Some cultures find it extremely disgusting and look down on people not using bidets or bidet toilets.

Have you never seen that sign an Italian football fan was holding up at a football game ' we have bidet ' ?

HHahah

This is coming from someone disgusting herself, who only uses toilet paper. But I can see it's gross and won't defend it.

Some cultures ( Muslims particularly ) are way way way more hygienic then us in the west. Just accept it. It's not a big deal.

@hotmeatymilk

Points for using the word “splooge” on a Monday morning 😆

We had a bidet toilet seat added, I love it! I have Lichen Sclerosis so wiping can be pretty sore sometimes, washing instead helps a lot.

I never really understood bidets, but after spending time in Finland (where they have the little showers next to the toilet) and Japan (fancy toilet seats) I realised how much better it feels to shower off.