To think there’s no way you can wipe your bum clean?

[crazykoo124]

Born in a mixed race family with a Middle Eastern mother, I was always taught to wash my downstairs with water after no 1s and 2s. We have a built in mini shower head thing to just spray our bums clean, and before that we used to have a jug sort of thing.

I’ve always wondered, do you genuinely think your bum is clean if you only wipe?

The way I see it, if someone dropped a few drops of urine or fecal matter on my flooring at home, I’d scrub it clean and atleast use some water. No way would I give it a wipe clean with a dry wad of tissue! So how can your skin be clean….

Am I missing something? Do you wet the tissue before use?

Sorry for the silly question! Have always wondered.

Rather than polluting wipes, what about using a drop of baby lotion on a wad of ordinary toilet paper?

I'm from a similar-ish background (Latin American middle East diaspora) and bidets are the norm, as they are in a lot of countries. I find it really hard to go back to just paper, I'll time my showers accordingly instead!
There's a lot of English habits that would be considered unclean in many other countries. I used to cringe at my mum saying so but I can see why. Wearing shoes indoors, not rinsing plates, not washing hands every meal. All of these seem to get quite debated.

Surely this is actually what the dreaded loo brush is really for?

‘I used to cringe at my mum saying so but I can see why. Wearing shoes indoors, not rinsing plates, not washing hands every meal. All of these seem to get quite debated’.

Who does these things?! No one I know.

I just squirt a bit of Johnson’s baby lotion on some loo paper and give it an extra wipe. However, if your diet is good then your bowl movements will be good and exit easily. Washing and showering daily will also help. 😉

@pictish

I’ve seen some crowing on Mumsnet in my time, but ‘I wipe my arse better than you’ takes it to a whole new level.

Well, I pop out to the garage and spray my arse clean with the pressure washer.

Aren't people overthinking this?? I've used both ways and tbh haven't notice a major difference (except unpleasantly wet knickers after the shower). It's your bumhole, 99% of the time it'll be clean enough for whatever you've got planned for it 😂

@Lightstoobright

Wtf is this thread

My thoughts exactly. And everyone eager to share their technique

Bum wiping and discussing Boris's hair this is what MN has come to.

no one asks to sniff my behind
and i prefer poo before a shower

@CardiganAddict but surely not all ‘Latin American’ people’s own a bidet? Just like some but not all English people do own one. Lots of ‘English’ people I know remove shows before entering a house and we all certainly wash our hands before eating, so I don’t think you can be so general with your ideas about what countries do as a whole, as it differs widely.

@Heepers

Aren't people overthinking this?? I've used both ways and tbh haven't notice a major difference (except unpleasantly wet knickers after the shower). It's your bumhole, 99% of the time it'll be clean enough for whatever you've got planned for it 😂

The idea of walking around all day with a smelly bum just gives me The Ick.

YANBU - I find it weird and gross! You wouldn’t wipe faeces off of any other part of your body with tissue and consider it clean.

I use stuff called wype - it’s a kind of aloe gel you put on the tissue before wiping. Feels so much cleaner and more pleasant.

@Chocolatefreak

I agree OP, having lived in countries where there is either a bidet, hose or toilet spray I cannot understand how people in the UK can stand to just scrub their arse, ineffectually, with yards of loo roll! So unhygienic! And wasteful!

The issue is drying afterwards- unless it's your own bathroom and you have a towel it's again wasteful yards of loo roll.

Yes, us disgusting UK people. You tell us!

@LakieLady

Well, I pop out to the garage and spray my arse clean with the pressure washer

I’d love to see you shooting 30ft across the tarmac.

We have a bidet that was in the house when we bought it, I’m a convert.

@CardiganAddict

I'm from a similar-ish background (Latin American middle East diaspora) and bidets are the norm, as they are in a lot of countries. I find it really hard to go back to just paper, I'll time my showers accordingly instead! There's a lot of English habits that would be considered unclean in many other countries. I used to cringe at my mum saying so but I can see why. Wearing shoes indoors, not rinsing plates, not washing hands every meal. All of these seem to get quite debated.

It’s a little bit insulting.

I grew up in houses with bidets (German parents). Our current bathroom is too small for one but it’s on the list of must-haves for Dream House. A bidet would signify I’d arrived at true adulthood.

Urine is sterile so wiping / washing is just for comfort
It may be sterile, but urine stinks? Dried urine stinks even worse. It’s not about comfort, it’s about avoiding smell.

I agree OP. I always wonder about this. I’ve always washed my rear and so do my children. If I’m out, I wet tissue and use that, but then have a proper wash once I’m home.

Dry wiping poo and wee makes me feel sick. Due to diet in this day and age, poo doesn’t just fall out of bums for a majority of people. It will sometimes smear. You need more than dry tissue to get rid off it.

Unfortunately I’ve smelled a lot of smelly butts at yoga classes and other sports. I can only think it’s because people don’t wash their bum.

I don’t like the expensive toilets with all the extra spray bits on - I don’t like that there’s extra bits to clean on them as they’re a less simple, easy to clean design - I also don’t like using them for that reason. I also think that microdroplets obviously do spray around, and then there’s the thought that you’re spraying around the backwash from the person that also uses it, that you couldn’t get clean before. BUT, I don’t judge people from other cultures based on that, because it’s really not ok. Even when those people are English. Believe it or not.

Never have I spent so much time considering the hygiene levels of mine or anyone else's arsehole. Quite extraordinary.

I wipe. I shower daily. I wear clean clothes. Does this make me a crapslattern? Do I care?

I put a blob of aloe Vera gel on some loo roll to wipe with before I start the process of wiping. Wipe with that and then dry with subsequent plain loo roll. Alternatively baby lotion would work. Just like people used to clean up babies during nappy changes when out and about.

You wouldn’t wipe faeces off of any other part of your body with tissue and consider it clean

Which 'other part of your body'? Where are all these faeces ending up?

i remember my son's nursery nurse telling me she carried a little spray bottle with her and had taught her children to do the same- i think she found it hard to teach the children in the nursery just to wipe.
I like the Japanese toilets which have all sorts of spray functions (aiming at different areas with different forces!) - and include a drying function

@herewegoOVERANDOVERagain

Never have I spent so much time considering the hygiene levels of mine or anyone else's arsehole. Quite extraordinary.

I wipe. I shower daily. I wear clean clothes. Does this make me a crapslattern? Do I care?

I agree. Maybe it's too early for all this. (Well in the slovenly UK anyway other countries have been up and about polishing their bumholes for hours presumably)

ouch, baby lotion would sting surely?

Which 'other part of your body'? confused Where are all these faeces ending up?

Obviously meant theoretically. If you got poo on your hands, would you wipe it with dry tissue? For example, carers May get poo on their arms when cleaning patients. You may get poo on your hands cleaning baby/toddler?