Prívate vs state Primary education

[ClumpyMascara]

DH wants to send twin boys to private Primary school - he was privately educated and I wasn’t, he feels very passionately about it.

While I have no quibble with them going to private secondary, where I do believe you can see the benefits, I don’t see the point in private primary? We have great state primaries near us and the education they will get won’t be that different?

It just seems like a waste of money - we aren’t super well off but his parents are going to help (and agree with him)

Most of our friends have done state primary, private secondary with their children

I’ll point out that my husband is partially deaf and went to private because of better provision for this

While our boys don’t seem to have any SEN needs, he thinks if something comes up like dyslexia etc then the support would better from what he’s seen

I do t think we should worry about things that might not happen

And yes I know we are VERY fortunate to even be in the position of considering so please no lectures on “most people couldn’t afford this”

My own view is that if the state provision in your area is as good / better than the private provision then it’s a waste of money. That’s the case where we live - all four primaries are rated outstanding.

Depends on the schools. There are good state schools, good private schools, bad state schools Nd bad private schools.

You need to actually look whats on offer.

That’s exactly my point - we are lucky to live in a nice area with excellent schools so it just seems like a waste of money for Primary stages

One benefit would be that the twins would be making friends in primary that would also likely be going to the same secondary as them so they would hopefully have less of a bit transition when the time comes.

I’d go and look at all the options before I made a decision - if I were in the position to make a decision! - we’re stuck with the local primary and whilst the teachers are lovely it is hideously big and busy and chaotic and we’ll be saving like crazy to hopefully be able to give them a private secondary education. If I had the option I would move them now.

We have a lot join our prep in years 5/6. They will then start the secondary school with the skills in sport/ music that can be pushed out of the state school curriculum. Contact rugby, playing in orchestras etc. As well as prep for the entrance exam. Maybe a compromise?

But then our area is very mixed, some absolutely lovely some country lines drug dealers types so that obvs impacts on the school

I'll echo what a previous poster said. There are good and bad private schools as there are good and bad state schools.

Both of mine have been in private since Reception, my dd is now in Year 13 so nearly at the end. Her school has been exceptional. She has grown into a confident, articulate, empathetic young lady and I couldn't be more delighted. My ds is in year 11. I didn't like his prep school where I felt they wrote him off in part due to his immaturity linked to him being a summer baby. Fast forward to his secondary school where he has truly blossomed, has made great friends, has grown in confidence and is self-motivated.

Would they have done as well at a state school, perhaps. I don't know and I can't answer that question but we are very happy that we chose their schools.

My son went to private pre school & we would have considered primary if we saw the benefit, but we didn’t.
He has just started reception in a good local primary and all is going well. No regrets moving him.
I even had need to formally complain about the care at after school club & so did a few other parents, so private doesn’t necessarily mean best / perfect

Does the school you are looking at go all the way to sixth form? I had huge concerns about him going from pre school to sixth form in a tiny bubble and then crashing at uni. I’ve seen it happen to my friends and it isn’t always good for them.

Agree with you OP- I went to a private school for both but the kids who went to a state primary and then joined my secondary in no way lacked ability and you couldn’t tell really who came from what primary. Save the money/ enjoy the money

We’re in a similar position and have decided on the state primary for the reasons you say. It’s a great primary in a lovely setting and we know loads of parents whose kids are in it or have been through it and no one has a bad word to say about it, so it just seemed silly not to go.

(Also the private primary was single sex and we felt reception age was too early to be in single sex education).

Does the school you are looking at go all the way to sixth form? I had huge concerns about him going from pre school to sixth form in a tiny bubble and then crashing at uni. I’ve seen it happen to my friends and it isn’t always good for them.

Very much agree with this - I joined a school like this aged 13 and most of the kids who’d been in the school from age 3 really struggled after leaving school at 18.

I'm SLT in a private senior school and I can assure your there is a massive difference between state and prep educated children. You can spot them a mile off at interview and they settle much better into school life

We went for State Primary and State Secondary largely based on the quality of schools available to us and we are glad we did.
Both DC experienced a wider range of friends
They both have friends from Primary and different friends from Secondary (in fact DS has integrated the 2)
Both were more streetwise than kids who had been at the school since age 3
DD is finding a large diverse 6th form college easier than some of her peers who had only ever experienced the relatively sheltered environment of 1 small school
We saved a lot of money
I know a lot of people in the community from the DCs time at Primary

There was no attainment gap for them either

I think class sizes make a massive difference at that age. I just don’t think most state schools can compete on the level of attention kids get in private school, particularly in the earlier years.

We’ve got an excellent state primary that parents fight tooth and nail to get into and achieves great outcomes. My daughter is happy and thriving but I’ve recently been to look around the local preps and I’m considering a move at year 3.

Reasons for a move:

• amazing facilities
• music provision (no contest between
• better sport (sport is good at our school compared to most primaries but more specialist provision and a pool at the private)
• smaller class sizes and less social issues/behavioural problems *attached secondary is one of the schools we’d like for year 7 plus

Reasons to stay

• saving money and lifestyle reasons
• child is happy

The thing that will swing it is the level of behavioural issues in the class. There have been quite a few issues with some of the boys in her year which have disrupted her learning. If those issues escalate we’ll look at a move. The other things are nice to have but are a better offer than state can provide. Ultimately it comes down to opportunity cost of fees versus other experiences/uses of the money.

I believe unless you INCREDIBLY wealthy to the point a 100k here or there doesn’t matter…
if you want to set your kids up you are better off using the money to buy your twins starter homes/flats at uni or post uni vs pay for private education in primary if there is a decent state school option available.

Our plan is decent state primary and private or top state school (we bought our house specifically so these were options)

@ClumpyMascara

I’ll point out that my husband is partially deaf and went to private because of better provision for this

While our boys don’t seem to have any SEN needs, he thinks if something comes up like dyslexia etc then the support would better from what he’s seen

I do t think we should worry about things that might not happen

My children are private (from Y4), it’s a prep, so they’ll stay until end of Y8. It’s the best thing we ever did.

They have lots of local buddies in our village (and I make a big effort to keep in touch with them), and we feel part of a strong community.

The education is amazing, but more so the opportunities to do extras.... tie dye, proper cooking, comic club, Forrest school etc etc.

However, based on the experiences of a few friends, I’m nit sure private is automatically better fir sen.....

We ended up sending DS to a private primary after we couldn’t get him into any decent state schools. He’s in a class of 20 which is good, and has specialist teachers for music, art, PE, IT and drama. It’s a nurturing school and I’m really happy with it.

If you earn northwards of £300k then go for private. The class size is amazing and if you are in a competitive area like south west London it’s really hard to get into the good secondary’s without having been helped to prepare.

If your below this sum then I would really think it through

@Totalwasteofpaper our plan is similar. Local primaries are good. High school not so much. We are planning next house move on the basis of high school and putting the money into bigger house / their uni / their houses

I have 2 dc in prep primary. They have received a fantastic foundation level of learning and more. The class sizes are small and I can speak to a teacher on the day at the door if I need to. The school are very very helpful if there are any issues.

My reception child is flying through word cards and two books a week and has maths and English homework twice a week.

Whether they go on to grammar or private secondary they will start year 7 with al the tools and knowledge they need to sprint off and not struggle with holes in their education because state classes are just to big to deliver.

I have spent time in a state school as a TA, it was the main reason why I put them in private. The teacher was fantastic but the class had over 30 children in and there was very little actual bums on seats head down learning. You will be shocked at the amount of time wasted in getting 30+ kids organised.

The teacher was a star and she absolutely did her best but I could see why so many kids leave school not being able to read or write properly.

Investing in private primary is absolutely worth it.

But do your research on the school.

We're sending my DS to a prep school as a way to pass the 11 plus and get a place at a grammar because the secondary schools here are rubbish.

If he was going to go to a normal state secondary then I wouldnt bother with prep.

You need to be aware on the quality levels of schools around you. Jist because they're state doesnt automatically mean they're bad, just like being independant doesnt make them automatically good.