Prívate vs state Primary education

[ClumpyMascara]

DH wants to send twin boys to private Primary school - he was privately educated and I wasn’t, he feels very passionately about it.

While I have no quibble with them going to private secondary, where I do believe you can see the benefits, I don’t see the point in private primary? We have great state primaries near us and the education they will get won’t be that different?

It just seems like a waste of money - we aren’t super well off but his parents are going to help (and agree with him)

Most of our friends have done state primary, private secondary with their children

My experience has been academic teaching has been on a par between state and prep. DC go to a good with aspirations of being outstanding state primary and the extra curricular is shockingly awful, and has got significantly worse since covid (ie pretty much non existent).

Dixiechickonhols

Hi Dixie I really like what you wrote snd I agree. What did you do with your kids for secondary school? Did you choose grammar, state or private?

For clarity the boys and their younger sibling will definitely go to private secondary from 11. Most of our friends have had their children at our local (very good) Primary where there’s been no trouble getting the children into private for year 7. We live in a small but expensive city where there are many private schools and places generally aren’t too difficult to get if you’ve been organised and they pass their entrance exam/interview. We don’t seem to have the same set up as some on our area but now I’m thinking that Primary is the way to go or potentially moving them over from KS2.

FedupAnon2 She passed 11+ and went to Grammar. She’ll go on to Grammar 6th form. We are in Lancashire so it’s a pass in catchment and you have a place not super selective.

FedupAnon2 state grammar

@Motheroftigers
Where did she ask for experiences of people with kids in private schools? The original post which people are responding to without necessarily going through each individual comments does not ask for this. The title of the thread very much sets up a private v's state debate, that is what the OP wanted, that was what people gave her.
Might need to bring you to the front of the class where you will listen better.

Thank you @Dixiechickonhols

@GonzoFlyingProducts

The thing is that "they education they will get" WILL actually be that different.

People imagine that the difference is: State School says "1+1 is 2" and Prep school says "1+1 is 2 and that will be fifty quid" but it's just not that simple.

My three all went to prep school then on to state Grammars and it was the early years that made the difference - learning good French and Latin, a grounding in the classics, a huge emphasis on an absolute proficiency in maths and English (and provision for LOTS of extra help if needed that only a private school can offer). By the time they got to eleven and were ready for secondary school they were confident, independent, scholarly and in love with learning - that is what prep school can give kids in a way that state primary school simply never can. Plus of course the school had amazing facilities, a pool, loads of inter-school competitions in gymnastics and netball and cricket not to mention in chess and maths - state schools just can't afford to do the "extras" that you get from prep school. Their French teacher will be French, their music teacher will be a jazz pianist, the cricket coach will have played for England - prep school kids get the BEST of everything and once it's in them it's in them for good - it's not fair - but it's real.

My advice would be to spend the money EARLY and get them into prep school (although you had better have had their names down from birth for any of the good ones in any major UK city) and watch them develop into people who then cruise through senior school (of any type) with astounding success.

But in the end remember - the kids who do best in education are those who are supported best AT HOME. Don't order them to do the homework - take a real interest in the homework. Don't just praise their drawing of the Tower of London - take them to the tower of London.

@GonzoFlyingProducts

I agree with all this.

Sadly, I wouldn't be able to afford this from age 4-18 for both my kids. I am disappointed but that's life.

Our local state schools are good so I think we will send them there and spend money on extra curricular activities, experiences and tutors rather than do state primary and then private secondary.

But at the end of the day, we, like anyone else, can only do what we think best.

Hmmm. Well I haven't read the full thread, but in my experience private primary is better and just as valuable as private secondary. I have experience of both private and state, as we moved our dc when they were in years 2, 1 and R (yes, 3 in consecutive school years).

My youngest went from a class of 30 to a class of 11, he read with a teacher every day instead of once a week - he went from being lost in a big class to getting a huge amount of individual attention and it made a big difference (he is an August baby). My dd had speech and language therapy within school and came on leaps and bounds (one of the reasons we moved them is that the state school did nothing to help her).

There are significantly better opportunities for extracurricular activities from the early years too - music and sport in particular, but also things like LAMDA - it will of course depend on the school. You also have easy and direct contact with the teaching staff.

We chose schools with strong pastoral care (2/3 are now at secondary) and the sense of looking after each child as an individual makes an enormous difference to their school experience. I have never for one second regretted our decision - not even when our mortgage statement arrives!