Page 6 | Dating... Great guy but hate his clothes

Shawaddywaddeee · 2021-12-12T02:33:06+00:00

AIBU? Met a lovely guy, only been dating about a month He's funny, kind, genuine, honest, generous But He's not great in bed and his dress sense is awful Can these things be changed? Or do you think I should just finish it now?

AnathemaPulsifer · 13/12/2021 10:55

Talk to him about the sex. Doesn’t sound like you’re having an orgasm and you have as much right to one as he does.

DillDanding · 13/12/2021 10:57

Unless he’s extremely young and has barely had any sex, the being crap in bed and a bad kisser would be a deal breaker for me.

The clothes you can work on, but life is too short to be stuck with someone that’s bad at sex.

stalkersaga · 13/12/2021 11:23

When we talk bad in bed, I think there is a key difference between "doesn't know how to give a specific partner an orgasm" and "doesn't care or even notice if partner has orgasm".

#1 can be worked with. #2, not so much, in my experience. What man doesn't know that women also like orgasms, no matter how little sex he's had?

TrishM80 · 13/12/2021 11:40

In what way is he bad sex?

Panacotta · 13/12/2021 19:11

@Shawaddywaddeee

Ok so update..

I saw him tonight.
He smelt nice and had ok clothes on
The sex was crap and the kissing isn't great either 🙈
BUT
He's such good company, kind, caring, trustworthy, good heart etc I'm going to see how things go.
Sex dwindles after time anyway and good guys seem to be hard to find these days x

No attraction then really op?

Panacotta · 13/12/2021 19:13

I've been with DH 25 yrs and still have great sex. When I have the energy. I don't think I'd date someone who was crap in bed 😬

DillDanding · 13/12/2021 21:10

Sex dwindles after time anyway and good guys seem to be hard to find these days

Set your sights a bit higher and don't settle.

Plus the thought of a bad kisser gives me the heebie jeebies.

KatherineJaneway · 13/12/2021 22:18

good guys seem to be hard to find these days

Ones that wash are reasonably easy to find but your bar seems exceptionally low

BridStar · 13/12/2021 22:41

He sounds fucking grim. What's he find that's kind and considerate? Not murdered anyone?

Nothing good can come of dating some troglodyte other women wouldn't even sit next to on a bus.

Gagagardener · 13/12/2021 23:32

OP: I m glad he turned up smelling nice and dressed reasonably well. That could mean he's realised something! How old are you? My current DH and I got together after first flush of youth. Both widowed. He said after a few months that he'd had more sex with me than in his whole first marriage; and certainly I had to teach him a lot of things, including kissing. But from the off I felt he was kind', honest, reliable and he made me laugh a lot. The sex has dwindled; but I've never regretted getting over my first disappointment with his lack of technique. I hope things work out for you. If you get on really well, he'll like learning how to please you - in all sorts of ways. Good luck.

Gagagardener · 13/12/2021 23:32

OP: I m glad he turned up smelling nice and dressed reasonably well. That could mean he's realised something! How old are you? My current DH and I got together after first flush of youth. Both widowed. He said after a few months that he'd had more sex with me than in his whole first marriage; and certainly I had to teach him a lot of things, including kissing. But from the off I felt he was kind', honest, reliable and he made me laugh a lot. The sex has dwindled; but I've never regretted getting over my first disappointment with his lack of technique. I hope things work out for you. If you get on really well, he'll like learning how to please you - in all sorts of ways. Good luck.

WhatToDo1988 · 14/12/2021 03:01

That sounds awful. I'm sorry but you need higher standards. Smells of BO, sticks a finger in and it's over in 5 minutes. He should be trying a hell of a lot harder. He should be trying to impress you. What you are essentially saying is "I have such low self esteem, I will take any man with a pulse." Great. It will only get downhill from here.

For goodness sake, at least try to address the sex issue. Tell him what you like and see if he does it. Then you'll know if he gives a shit about what you think.

And by the way, yes, sex dwindles a bit over time. My DP and I don't do it as often as we did years ago. But when we do, it's pretty great. You need higher standards, for your own happiness.

WhatToDo1988 · 14/12/2021 03:03

And fuck off with suggestions to buy him clothes and get him to shower more. You're not his mother. Nothing kills passion faster than having to infantilize a man.

Rno3gfr · 14/12/2021 03:07

My dp dress sense is awful. He’s a good lobster so I put up with it. It’s worth it. Most men are happy to amend their attire once you start buying them gifts...ahem, clothes

ABitOfAShitShow · 14/12/2021 03:31

All I’m going to say is that if anyone meets a guy who owns a terrible pair of old sketchers and some denim shorts circa 2000, run. It’s my ex and the clothes will be the least of your worries.

Ah…simpler times. When all I had to dislike about him were certain items of clothing (and his inability to close cupboard doors).

Fun fact, he knew I hated them and wore both the day he moved out. (He also left the cupboard doors open.)

KosherDill · 14/12/2021 03:39

Sounds promising; looking forward to updates!

ImmutableSexQueen · 14/12/2021 04:25

He was a bit bemused because he already had one without holes in it so didn't understand why he needed another.

Made me laugh!

Catflapkitkat · 14/12/2021 06:35

OP sounds like he would make a good friend. Keep looking

EurghCobwebs · 14/12/2021 06:51

Morag is that you?!

DukkaTheHallsWithBoughsOfHolly · 14/12/2021 09:53

He sounds like he should be a friend and nothing more. Set your sights higher, you don’t have to make do.

50ShadesOfCatholic · 14/12/2021 09:56

Does he have his own hair and teeth? Does he have hair or teeth, in fact?