To wonder if our children would be the ‘poor’ ones at private school

[Changethefloorthroughout]

DH and I have a good joint income of over £100,000 and I’m seriously considering private school for our children.

A worry for me is if they are surrounded by children from much wealthier backgrounds if they would feel ‘poor’. I’m just posting for thoughts from people who know a bit more about the independent system than me.

There will be people with less and people with more. You are not making this decision on income (if you are don’t privately educate your children) you are making it because you believe the whole education is better. Even in very smart areas there are schools where parents are down to earth and make sacrifices to educate their children privately. And others who don’t work and live of their investments or whose GP pay the fees.

would everyone else have much more money than you.

You should have said that then as the word poor isn’t right… and offensive to those who are actually poor

I work at a public school. Some students have obviously got a lot of money and it shows in attitude and clothes and parents....some have a lot of money and they have great attitudes and its not an issue. The ones on bursary aren't obvious. There are Teslas in the car park but there are also range rovers, golf's and Nissans.
It depends on the school and the child.

I can't tell you about your specific situation but yes my friends have had issues. They earn around £70k, mostly him so tax is more than if they earned £35k each. They found that as well as the school their DS's friends did expensive extracurricular, went on fancy holidays etc. when he was younger he obviously didn't realise then once he was older he was fed up he couldn't go on the ski trip to the USA and the adventure to Borneo. One child is obviously easier to afford too.

My DD's were state school educated and did expensive extra curricular on a similar salary

My kids are at an independent school. Their friends range from the children of actual billionaires to children on full bursaries. I’ve never known anyone be unkind due to differences in income and it makes no difference to popularity. On the other hand, I’ve seen quite a few parents trying to suck up to to the super-rich

100k sounds very low for private school and a mortgage. presumably it's the cheap end of private schools then in which case it's unlikely to matter as much.

Thanks @LadyMacbethWasMisunderstood. I appreciate your posts - always sensible.

@FuzzyPuffling

I got a full scholarship to a private school and hated it. I was bullied for being the "wrong sort" and much much later my mother agreed it was the wrong place for me.

But £100,000 = poor???

Not on any planet I know.

Nobody is saying £100K a year is ‘poor’. Not one soul.

The question is - is it enough to afford private school for 1+ children?

BINGO!

Knew 'girls' and 'bitchy' would come up

I hope you don't mean teenage girls aren't bitchy and it's just a stereotype. They are all bitchy, we all were at that age.

@OnceuponaRainbow18

Quite an insensitive thread.

Try being the poor one in a state school…!

You are not obliged to open the thread or read it

...but what are you actually buying? My kids go to the local state secondary, have excellent accdemic results and local friends who think we live in a lovely house (mid terrace).

You could work less, be at home with kids, or go skiing every Feb half term and Bahamas in December and your children go to the local school and still receive an education.

You could put all your salary into your pension or save for university fees. You are not rolling in it and there is a huge opportunity cost to spending your whole salary on something that is available for free in the state sector...

So, what are you actually buying?

@LoveGrooveDanceParty

Nobody is saying £100K a year is ‘poor’. Not one soul.

Read the thread title

Personally if your local states are good I would send them there and use the money for trips/activities/money toward helpigg nhs them at uni/with a deposit

Well not all private schools are the same so it depends on the actual school.

@AutumnLeaves21

They will be surrounded by much wealthier children and they will notice. They’ll also notice different treatment from the teachers Speaking from bitter experience. It’s not a mistake I’d make again.

I’ve worked in private schools and I’ve not noticed this. There were a few students who were very wealthy and a few on some sort of full bursary but as for the rest of them I couldn’t have told you whose family was earning £1m+, whose was earning £100k, who had grandparents paying the fees, etc.

It might be different at some of the very big, well established schools but I don’t think you would be able to send multiple children to one of those on £100k a year.

I think some people were bored on a Saturday night and delighted to find a thread that could be ‘offended’ at.

But it does go to show as even after paying school fees we would be left with around £80,000 gross, yet that is at the lower end of the wealth spectrum. So in many ways it’s a very different world to the one I’m familiar with.

@Changethefloorthroughout

Of course you’re not being a knob, that’s why I’m asking.

However, two at private senior is less than £30,000 (I know this will go up, but so will our salaries) and that still leaves us with over £80,000 gross.

30% of your joint salaries is a lot to pay for school fees. What are the state schools like around you?

& the fees obviously

£100 k income and you're worried about your kids feeling poor? Jesus

Post tax it wouldn't be enough to pay he fees for one dc at certain schools.

@lastqueenofscotland has a great point. 30k a year towards house deposit, travelling the world, extra curricular activities, endless tutoring if needed etc would be wonderful.

That income isn't enough for secondary school private .. not where I live anyway!

I think it completely depends which school. We are in similar position and kids at private prep (south Manchester) and we are in the middle I would say.. lots richer lots less well off but really makes no difference in the way the kids or the parents interact x

I guess this is what I’m asking though @Pumperthepumper, why, when it still leaves us with a high annual income? The income levels in independent schools must be pretty high and I clearly have different (low! ) standards.

DH went on a bursary and scholarship to a very expensive “elite” school. He was definitely marked out as “poor”. He didn’t mind overly but he lived in a modest 4 bed cottage and didn’t spend holidays on a yacht like his peers.
My 2 close friends teach at a good but not elite independent, average parental income exceeds £250k so £100k would definitely be bottom tier. Whether it matters depends on so many factors.

@Changethefloorthroughout

I guess this is what I’m asking though *@Pumperthepumper*, why, when it still leaves us with a high annual income? The income levels in independent schools must be pretty high and I clearly have different (low! ) standards.

Because it’s too high a percentage to make the risk worth it. For example, what happens if one of you can no longer work? What happens if one of you is made redundant?