to think health professionals shouldn't shame people

[EmmaGrundyForPM]

My son did not get a Covid jab. His rationale was that his risk of serious illness was very low even if he contracted it, and that all those who are at high risk have now been jabbed. I don't agree with that argument, and have had all 3 jabs myself, but respect that that is his view. He also suffers from anxiety and panic attacks.

He finally decided to have the vaccine, as he realises that various restrictions might impact on him (Covid passports etc) if he remains unvaccinated. So he went off yo the walk-in centre to get one this morning.

He's just got home fuming. When he presented himself, the person registering him asked him why he hadn't had his jab earlier. Why would that be any of their business? He then went through to the vaccinator who asked the same thing. He did explain that he had changed his mind because he wants to go to concerts and to visit his grandparents abroad. The vaccinator then said "that's a very selfish attitude, you won't have a vaccine to prevent people dying but you will to go on holiday".

Surely Health Professionals ought to be encouraging people to get vaccinated, not shaming them? I've given him grief about not getting vaccinated but I'm his Mum and he lives with us. I volunteer in a vaccine clinic and have always made a point of being really positive towards everyone who comes for their vaccine. AIBU?

Lots of people will be getting the vaccine to travel and go to concerts, that was put in place to encourage young people to get vaccinated. HCP can act all righteous, but the fact is young people don't have much need to be vaccinated.

I’d have jabbed him with the thickest needle I could find. So he got off lightly, even if it wasn’t strictly professional

Thanks and well done. I’m now having second thoughts about my booster. What if the vaccinator loses patience with me because I’m upset and take longer? Are they going to be rough giving me the booster because I can’t just walk in, have it and walk out?

Thanks and well done. I’m now having second thoughts about my booster. What if the vaccinator loses patience with me because I’m upset and take longer? Are they going to be rough giving me the booster because I can’t just walk in, have it and walk out?

Because, as I said, I’m not a medic. I imagine it’s not a case of them using any random needle, the particular needles used for the booster will have been pre-arranged (surely?).

As for them losing patience and being rough with you, can’t speak to that, I’m afraid. Sounds a bit unlikely but I don’t have injection anxiety. Has it happened before?

Thanks and well done. I’m now having second thoughts about my booster.

Oh come on.

Oh come on.

I think if you were needle phobic, that comment could make you feel worse. The comment was definitely goady and unpleasant and I’m sure the vast majority of vaccinators, probably all, wouldn’t think like that never mind do it. There’s some nasty people on here and I think the post should probably be deleted as it’s inflammatory.

Well, anyone who has had the first two vaccinations will know that the syringes are preloaded.

But there are a lot of threats here that if you care about vaccinations happening, you'd better have no anonymous opinions about people who won't get vaccinated or they'll not do it. If you're big enough to choose not to get vaccinated, you're big enough to deal with the fact that some people won't think you're fantastic for making that choice

It's interesting that the responses and voting are pretty evenly split. For those of you disbelieving it happened, I wasn't there so can't say for sure but I can't see why my son would make it up.

I'm really glad he's finally had it, and I think he's relieved that I'll now stop nagging him about it.

However, the responses on here have made me think about why people have vaccines. Can all the 48% who voted that the vaccinator was right to call my son selfish say that they only had the vaccine for altruistic reasons?

Can all the 48% who voted that the vaccinator was right to call my son selfish say that they only had the vaccine for altruistic reasons?

I didn't vote but I'm not sure that altrustic is exactly the word to describe my motivation, but I've always thought that if you can get a vaccination, you should as part of living in a community with mutual protection. The same reason that I'm happy to pay tax. Some things in society don't work when the people who can opt out.

PleasantBirthday

That posters comment was unnecessary. People can have whatever opinion of me they like, I wouldn’t be friends with someone who made that comment and I think a lot of people would think they were nasty. If you think it was appropriate, that’s your choice.

Of good grief. I didn't say I thought it was appropriate, I said I don't think an adult huffing and making threats about a clearly flippant remark is ridiculous.

Of good grief. I didn't say I thought it was appropriate, I said I don't think an adult huffing and making threats about a clearly flippant remark is ridiculous.

I wouldn’t huff, I just think the person commenting about the thick needle is a total nob. It’s not beyond possibility that it could make someone with a needle phobia worse, just like the thought of being judged by a vaccinator may possibly make people hesitant to get the vaccine at this late stage.
Personally I wouldn’t care less about either of these things, but still don’t think the comments should be made.

As for them losing patience and being rough with you, can’t speak to that, I’m afraid. Sounds a bit unlikely but I don’t have injection anxiety. Has it happened before?

The only vaccinations I've had since childhood are one tetanus and the two Covid jabs. The tetanus was before my normal dislike of needles turned into a full blown phobia. The vaccinators with the covid jabs were lovely but it was quieter when I had them and they had more time.

Oh come on.

You clearly have no idea about phobias. Do you tell people suffering from depression to pull themselves together?

Well, anyone who has had the first two vaccinations will know that the syringes are preloaded.

Well not necessarily. I've had the first two but wouldn't have a clue what happened, I was being distracted by DH and the chaperone from the centre at the time.

Can all the 48% who voted that the vaccinator was right to call my son selfish say that they only had the vaccine for altruistic reasons?

Of course they can't. I'm sick of all the holier than thous telling us how much better than the rest of us they are.

Well, anyone who has had the first two vaccinations will know that the syringes are preloaded.

I didn't - I didn't give it any thought or look at the needle.

DD is now over due her 2nd. She was so brave with the first. The rear in her eyes was awful to see. We have it on the diary and are working up to it. I shall give short shrift to anyone who questions why she hasn't been earlier.

It's unecessary, unprofessional and impolite to shame anyone for not already having a vaccine, especially if they are there to have one.

I had my vaccine for myself and my elderly relatives. Nobody else. Just like my DC had their childhood immunisations for them. I wasn't doing it for herd immunity in the community.

YANBU

Often people with phobias struggle to have even flippant, jokey marks about it. I worked with a woman scared of spiders and she couldn’t even cope with someone saying the word spider. Phobias are like that.

I'm a retired doctor, and the comment was totally unprofessional and unacceptable. I am surprised that any qualified health professional would make it, however stressed by the pressure the unvaccinated are putting on the NHS.
But not all vaccinators are doctors and nurses- there are many trained volunteers who have not been exposed to years of our ethics teaching and may lack basic courtesy and professionalism.
If your son feels strongly, he can raise a formal complaint.
But in the circumstances, where we are racing the clock against omicron, I think we need to accept all the volunteer vaccinators we can get, with or without the ability to bite their tongues at patients' failings.

But not all vaccinators are doctors and nurses- there are many trained volunteers who have not been exposed to years of our ethics teaching and may lack basic courtesy and professionalism.

Jesus, really? I’m very surprised, although, as you say, needs must.

A lot of the people that worked in the walk in centre that I went to were volunteers. obviously the actual jabber was a Heath professional as was the woman who was supervising the room you had to wait in after your jab. The person who commented may have been a volunteer.i would imagine minimal training.

My great niece has exactly the same attitude as your DS, she also expects her CEV Grandmother, my sister to be happy with her travelling from Edinburgh to Southampton after her University term ends on the train and just bowl up for Christmas. My sister is going move out of her home, she is still recovering from an operation to stay with a friend for a couple of days while my niece tests. Apparently niece is upset she may not be able to travel, nothing else.

I had the vaccine as I’m in my fifties, I had covid last year and was very ill, it took me months to fully recover. DS is 20 he really worried about his Grandmother my MIL who is almost 80. I had it for personal and altruistic reasons. I stopped bothering with a friend who made it perfectly clear that if only the old and ill died what did it matter. I pointed out one of his children could have something they knew nothing about as could he and be vulnerable without knowing.

There is a world of difference between someone being genuinely scared due to needle phobia or mental health issues and someone who just doesn’t want it.

Thanks @Babdoc

Ds won't make a complaint, he will just let it go and to be honest, if it was me then so would I. As you say, it might well have been a volunteer rather than an HCP.

@TisTheSeasonToBeVegan

Often people with phobias struggle to have even flippant, jokey marks about it. I worked with a woman scared of spiders and she couldn’t even cope with someone saying the word spider. Phobias are like that.

My husband was like that about dentists for most of his life. He's mid 70s. We have had a wonderful dentist for 20 years who worked so hard with DH to get him past this, appointments where he'd just sit in the chair and chat for 10 mins, appointments where dentist just got him to open his mouth and he'd look in with no instruments or touchings. DH can now happily see dentist and can even cope with fillings although he doesn't like them and has so much local that you wouldn't believe.

If a dentist had been sarky with him he would never have gone back and I just thank God that we found our dentist.

@TisTheSeasonToBeVegan my Mum was like that about the dentist. She'd start to get tearful if I mentioned I'd been. I'm not quite as bad as that, although I did feel ill when DH had his jabs and I'm struggling with the continued pictures of people being vaccinated in the press.

@Rainydayss

It's personal choice what he chooses to do. People have genuine and personal reasons for not having it and shouldn't have to explain it to a vaccinator. A women my age living on my estate died of a blood clot 1 week after her vaccine. It gave me huge anxiety about it, especially as I've had mine a similar time. Plus you can still carry and pass on covid after the vaccine. It's health risk to himself yes but so is smoking, drinking, not having smear tests etc

Why don't you count up the number of people who died from Covid BEFORE we had the vaccine and compare that with those who have died from complications ? That would make more sense or how about reading those headlines with the anti vaxxers who die and are begging people to get vaccinated or saying they wish they had had it ?

But in the circumstances, where we are racing the clock against omicron, I think we need to accept all the volunteer vaccinators we can get, with or without the ability to bite their tongues at patients' failings.

Maybe. But they do need to be put in their place. Vaccinators like this, dealing with anxious or hesitant people could not only put them off coming for their next vaccine but potentially other medical care in the future. I know of a woman who had a bad experience with a health professional years ago and now won’t have any medical care. That person has a lot to answer for. They are there to treat not judge. I’m sure many have thoughts but they must stay as thoughts

The vaccinator was right but entirely inappropriate to share that with your son. I’m sure health professionals have had views on me and I wouldn’t thank them for sharing those thoughts.

The posts talking about being rough and making the injection hurt, etc. are nasty and definitely not what is going to happen. HCPs are not going to want to purposely inflict pain, most people wouldn't. I'm all. For the vaccine, and certainly wouldn't relish in hurting another person.
When I went, they literally just confirmed necessary details (NHS number, name, etc.), "so this is your first/second/booster, then?", then the jab was administered - no comments made.

I voted YANBU because the vaccinator was out of order - but agreed with the vaccinators sentiment