Head Teacher at prospective school

[WhoopsWhatsMyNameAgain]

So it's that time of year when we do the rounds to see which primary schools we want to send our kids to...

We've viewed 3 within our catchment area and had thought one in particular we were especially interested in. BUT I've been up tossing and turning over the Head and need some views from other parents please (and maybe teachers if you're here!).

1. AIBU to be put off that a Head of a state primary sends her young daughter to a private school? We have LOADS of very well regarded state primary schools around where she lives and works (I know where she lives and where her daughter goes through Facebook) and the fact she sends her child to Private makes me feel like she doesn't believe in the system she works for. Why should I send my child to her school if even she doesn't believe it's good enough?

2. she has been at the school 2 years. She's mid-late 30s and extremely ambitious from her LinkedIn profile and organisations shes involved in. That's great but this, combined with the fact she's been off sick for 2 months now, suggests to me she may not stick around, AIBU to assume that?

We initially loved the school partially for some of the aspects that are Head dependent so I'm now questioning it. She's also changed the whole school curriculum in the past 2 years which makes me worry as they were great performing in 2019 data so who knows the impact of this.

Help please! Are any of the above red flags for you too?

(Considering we have other great options too)

@cafedesreves

I don't think this is a bad thing. This will give her a good knowledge of what the private sector is offering and hopefully she will take the best of it to improve the current school. I work in a private school but my DS will be state educated all the way. It's great to have knowledge of both sectors.

Sensible post.

The only thing that would concern me about this Head, OP, is that she hasn't made sure that randomers can't see her private information (assuming Facebook enables you to keep things private if you choose - I don't use social media so don't know).

Are you going to ask the teachers if they send their kids to private school? After all they will be teaching your kids

How do you know that it’s not family pressure to send the kids to private school? As others have said maybe the wrap around is better

You need to focus on what the teachers do

@MissM2912

The off sick for two months would worry me more than the private school thing.

This.

There is a huge focus now on the quality of the curriculum in schools and many schools have changed and adapted theirs in the last two years, more so as a result of the impact of Covid. You cannot tell whether this has impacted yet as there are no external data (results) since then as assessments were suspended so nothing to flag.
It may be a concern that the head is a little inexperienced and is seeing the school as a means to an end but the teachers are the ones who will have most impact on your child day to day (and I say that as a Headteacher). Of course, any one of them could leave at any point so you should be aware of that.
Honestly, your intrusive prying into the head's life and personal choices is the main red flag I see here.

@notagain1001
Why? Do you know what's wrong with her?

I mentioned up thread, I'm returning to work as a nurse next week after 3 months off. I badly fractured my shoulder needing surgery and physio. My particular injury was severe, as I mentioned I had surgery and only 10% of those having this injury need it. My shoulder was broken in 3 places, with a piece of bone thecwrobg way round. As well as that the long term prognosis is often poor, especially as at 55 I'm no spring chicken. It's unlikely I'll get full movement back. I'm still painful and stiff and can't put my arm behind my back, meaning I struggle to clean my arse after going to the loo (I'm going to cross my fingers I only need to wee at work!) and can't take my bra off. Still that's an improvement from when my husband had to help me shower and dress and even butter my toast and cut my dinner up. Should I have given into presenteeism and gone into work when I couldn't even look after myself and was iff my head on opiate based painkillers and knly sleeping an hour a night? I hope my colleagues are more sympathetic than you.

You have no idea why this teacher is off sick. Like me, she could have a fracture, severe long covid, cancer, anything!

One absence of 2 months is far less concerning than endless odd says, surely?

Ps the injury was sustained when I fell from my bike. An accident. Of course cycling always carries the risk of accidents, but so does crossing the road.

@MissM2912

The off sick for two months would worry me more than the private school thing.

Why? If she’s good at her job, as she seems to be she will have made good provision in her absense.

People, including Headteachers, are human and get sick - she could have cancer, long Covid, need heart surgery with a longer recovery….

Oh and in the dim and distant past I had 3 months off after a hysterectomy. Should I have gone too work as soon as I came round from the anaesthetic even though I'd just had major abdominal surgery?

It doesn’t mean she doesn’t believe in the system. It just shows that she can see the limitations (class sizes) and the limited funds for extra curricular. These are things totally beyond her control when it comes to her own school.

My daughter went to a fee-paying Senior school even though we both taught within the State system, we worked in it but didn't necessarily support the dogma, it's a job, that's all. If you speak to many teachers nowadays they are teaching a curriculum they don't necessarily support and as it changes so frequently, being a political football, there's not much they can do about it, even at HT level.

If you have great options just choose your nearest school. They are much of a muchness in all honesty . One really good head I knew really put the pupils needs first but her kids went private.

Are you in a area that does the 11+. Its not normal to have this much anxiety around primary school choice.

This is all so weird stop stalking people!

When we picked a school for our eldest we had a choice of 3 that she would probably get into based on distance, though no guarantees of course. After looking into them a bit and doing the visits etc they were all very similar so we chose the closest one with the plan to move her if it turns out to be completely shit. Job done.

It has genuinely never crossed my mind to search for any of my kids teachers on social media you sound like an absolute nightmare OP. I hope for that teacher's sake you pick elsewhere!

Maybe her husband works at the private school?

Interested if you stalk your dentist or doctor too? Maybe the use private healthcare for their kids!?!?

dramatic thunderclap

Stalking on Facebook?
To make decisions about a professional?

Urgh. Yabu.

I haven't rtft but you come across as a stalker.

Gosh you are way overthinking this. As long as it's not a horrific school just send them to the one closest to your house. You may not actually get the choice to be honest.

Can't you afford to send your dc to the same private school?

You seem to have an unhealthy interest in the head and her personal life. I have viewed a lot of schools, and looking through headteachers' social media and judging their life choices never happened.

The HT may send their child to private school for a while variety of reasons, including additional needs. It's really none of your business.

@Unhomme

Can't you afford to send your dc to the same private school?

You do realise, don’t you, that this may well not be financially or practically possible for the majority of people?

Stalking her on social media is weird.

You are overthinking it.... Maybe you should be the one sending your child to private school?