Head Teacher at prospective school

[WhoopsWhatsMyNameAgain]

So it's that time of year when we do the rounds to see which primary schools we want to send our kids to...

We've viewed 3 within our catchment area and had thought one in particular we were especially interested in. BUT I've been up tossing and turning over the Head and need some views from other parents please (and maybe teachers if you're here!).

1. AIBU to be put off that a Head of a state primary sends her young daughter to a private school? We have LOADS of very well regarded state primary schools around where she lives and works (I know where she lives and where her daughter goes through Facebook) and the fact she sends her child to Private makes me feel like she doesn't believe in the system she works for. Why should I send my child to her school if even she doesn't believe it's good enough?

2. she has been at the school 2 years. She's mid-late 30s and extremely ambitious from her LinkedIn profile and organisations shes involved in. That's great but this, combined with the fact she's been off sick for 2 months now, suggests to me she may not stick around, AIBU to assume that?

We initially loved the school partially for some of the aspects that are Head dependent so I'm now questioning it. She's also changed the whole school curriculum in the past 2 years which makes me worry as they were great performing in 2019 data so who knows the impact of this.

Help please! Are any of the above red flags for you too?

(Considering we have other great options too)

Looking at publically available information is not stalking.

TBH the fact that a HT's SM is not better locked down also questions her judgement.

I'd cross it off your list as you have so many other great options. I think you're being too judgy as you know nothing about this person's life no matter what your social media snooping has told you, but if you need the school staff to pass your personal values tests then much better to go elsewhere.

She may not want her children to be at the school she runs. They have their own lives.

@Sirzy

But that goes for any school. Nobody ever knows what’s around the corner. That’s why you need to look at the whole school and not focus on one staff member. Certainly don’t focus on one staff member to the extent the OP is which is very much on tne extreme side of things!

In what way is this extreme?! It's the Head. And it's my kids education!

Maybe she can afford it and wants to. It’s also none of your business. You don’t know her, her child or her child’s father. You don’t know their circumstances. You have no right to know these things. I certainly would not have my kids at the school I work at. It’s a source of potential conflict for a start. By choosing none of the local state primaries she has stayed neutral. “The head sends their child to the primary down the road. Why should we place our child where the head doesn’t want her own child going? What’s wrong with this school?”

I'm a Secondary teacher. Points 1and 2 are a bit odd, but I can comment on the changes in Curriculum. I assume this has been done in order to fill gaps left by school closures. I'd be very concerned if a school hadn't changed the curriculum after children have missed months of schooling.

You are choosing state schools, you don't have the luxury to be that picky. I think you are being daft

It can't have escaped your notice that many people who run the education system went to private schools and send their DC to them too. Being good at a job doesn't always mean it dictates your whole lifestyle. What if you were a great and ambitious headteacher and didn't want to limit yourself to only working in private schools? Should someone like that not work in the public sector? Should a great doctor who used private healthcare only work in private hospitals? Listen, I'm no fan of the private system, but just pointing out the over-simplifying nature of your post. If she wasn't as good but was an ardent supporter of state education, would that be more appealing? Plus lots of people are ill at the moment and others could go off sick at any time.

Ever get the feeling you are going to be that ‘parent’. Maybe she sends her child to a different school so her child doesn’t mix with school families, so she doesn’t have to socially mix with the families, which I assume could get awkward.

You are totally unreasonable and massively overstepping boundaries. It's also none of your business whether she privately educates.

Frankly, private education does afford more money being spent on individual children and whilst the education aspects are broadly the same, smaller class sizes, greater enrichment and wrap around are the reasons lots of people go private. Headteachers are at the brunt of this more than most and see the cuts to the budget first. You don't have to be an ideological leftie to be a teacher you know. She's doing what she thinks right for her child, just as you can.

My children all went state primary (best in my city and one where adjacent house prices are ludicrous). I would still have gone private if we could have afforded it.

If she can afford it, it's probably easier for her to be able to put all she can into her job role.

My children used to go to Private Prep school. The convenience was incredible, they were picked up at 7am from my house and they could be dropped off anytime between 4-6pm that evening.

It was easier to do that than use a childminder and have to go and get them etc.

I took my children out of private school as we moved house and where I was paying for a class of 8 children, the private schools in our new area had a class of 30 children so it was the same as state and I didn't need wrap around care.

I don't think this is a bad thing. This will give her a good knowledge of what the private sector is offering and hopefully she will take the best of it to improve the current school.
I work in a private school but my DS will be state educated all the way. It's great to have knowledge of both sectors.

Crikey, just choose a different school. I don't think the Head will be crying in her cornflakes if you do!

I was a primary teacher years ago, just for 4 years so no vast experience. I did a one year contract at a school where the headteacher and all the staff who were parents sent their children to private schools. I think there were only 2 out of 6 or 7 teachers who weren’t parents so it seemed odd to me. Were they picked at interview because of the schools their kids attended?
Worst thing I heard was the Year 6 teacher asking children where they were going on to. A few said private schools , the one who said they’d not chosen between 2 local comps was shut down before he’d finished speaking. I did find it an uncomfortable environment and was so glad when the year was up.

If the school doesn’t feel comfortable to you, and you have other choices, move on as you’d never be 100% happy.

TBH I think a lot of people who work in state education do not think it is good enough. There isn't anything we can do about it though, other than turn up for work every day and do the best we can with the resources we are given.

I think you are being ridiculous. The head at our school sends his children private. I only know this because our children go to a shared activity. It is none of my business what he does

Our school is fantastic and there are high aspirations for the children. With the best will in the world the best state schools don’t offer as much as a prep. If I had the money I’d do it in a heartbeat.

People do this? I had no idea!

Do you check out the FB posts from your GP,? Do you check to see if their own family are registered at the practice? What about your dentist?

I do worry that a HT has such open access to her FB account though - that is a mistske that even NQTs would be pulled up on.

The only red flag I get is regarding you. Stalk much?

Having been at a school where the head did send his children, I can say that in that case I think it was bad both for the school and his children to be at the same school.

@MissM2912

The off sick for two months would worry me more than the private school thing.

This really fucks me off. Life happens to teachers too. I had to have three months off when my mum was terminally ill (literally diagnosis to death less than three months, rapid and horrific) and died twelve years ago. Her passing was utterly traumatising.

And you'd judge me for taking that time to be with her to the end and to heal and recover in the aftermath?

Fuck that. This is why I left teaching tbh, nobody is allowed to be human.

Just to add - as a former teacher - if I had the money to support myself and my family I would have home educated if my own two children were not as happy as they were in their schools.

I would not have sent them to the school I taught in. Not because of the teachers - almost all of whom did a great job, but because the school was so underfunded that it was the teaching staff holding the place together. Don't even get me started on the changes the last HT made to the curriculum though. Not a chance my own children would have been taught under his tenure.

When you say the 2019 data showed great performance was that OFSTED or consolidated data from a website?
The curriculum in general has had some changes made/required to be implemented by the DfE and some of the changes are not necessarily easily applied through existing curriculum systems. Schools should be able to show you performance data as keeping track of where they are in relation to OFSTED standards for inspection (which have reasonably recently changed).

In terms of absence, it may depend on what is wrong and the school are not going to disclose personal information about staff. The question is, how smoothly does the school run if/when the HT is absent? What strategies do they have in place?

Where a teacher (wherever they are in the hierarchy) sends their children to be educated is a bit of a red herring. There are many factors which would affect that decision.

Remember that whilst she might be financially able to provide an experience for her children that has better resources/staffing/after school opportunities, it doesn’t mean that she isn’t 110% committed to improving outcomes for the children in the state school.

I work in a state school. Would I send my child private if I could? Yes - state schools are underfunded and private schools have better facilities. Not better teaching, but better resources and opportunities by the nature of money.

Would it make me work any less hard for the children in my care? Absolutely not - I’m passionate about doing the very best by them even if we don’t perhaps have as much money or resources. We put a huge amount of time and thought into our curriculum and pastoral offering for our wonderful children.

Do I believe in the system? It’s chronically underfunded. But we do our absolute best.

I really wouldn’t judge her on this at all.

I had my child at the (private) school that I worked at previously and it was a nightmare. Accusations of favouritism, having to go to softplay parties with parents and make endless small talk, people constantly trying to pump you for gossip and information, having to intervene in playground fall outs etc etc. We went our separate ways 3 years ago and it’s the best thing ever. I now am middle management at an extremely well regarded grammar school and DS would get priority entry if he passed the test. But we’ve deliberately moved house so he’s in catchment for our excellent local non-selective comprehensive school that all his friends from his excellent state primary will be going to. That’s not a judgement on the school I’m at, it’s more thinking holistically as a family. He has flourished independently since we went our separate ways. I want him to make his own independent life at secondary school.

Also take data with a pinch of salt given the last two years have been wrecked by covid. 2019 is probably the last accurate data point available.

Also, good data doesn’t mean you can’t improve teaching and curriculum offering - personally I think it’s excellent that they aren’t just “settling for good enough” and resting on their laurels. Sounds to me like she is passionate and striving for improvement even when they are already doing well.