Head Teacher at prospective school

[WhoopsWhatsMyNameAgain]

So it's that time of year when we do the rounds to see which primary schools we want to send our kids to...

We've viewed 3 within our catchment area and had thought one in particular we were especially interested in. BUT I've been up tossing and turning over the Head and need some views from other parents please (and maybe teachers if you're here!).

1. AIBU to be put off that a Head of a state primary sends her young daughter to a private school? We have LOADS of very well regarded state primary schools around where she lives and works (I know where she lives and where her daughter goes through Facebook) and the fact she sends her child to Private makes me feel like she doesn't believe in the system she works for. Why should I send my child to her school if even she doesn't believe it's good enough?

2. she has been at the school 2 years. She's mid-late 30s and extremely ambitious from her LinkedIn profile and organisations shes involved in. That's great but this, combined with the fact she's been off sick for 2 months now, suggests to me she may not stick around, AIBU to assume that?

We initially loved the school partially for some of the aspects that are Head dependent so I'm now questioning it. She's also changed the whole school curriculum in the past 2 years which makes me worry as they were great performing in 2019 data so who knows the impact of this.

Help please! Are any of the above red flags for you too?

(Considering we have other great options too)

Both the schools I am a governor at have changed the curriculum provision over the last 3 years in response to DfE requirements/COVID catch up/new OFSTED framework, so that wouldn’t bother me.
I would be more perturbed about the long term sickness though. Where she sends her own children is a red herring

Our deputy head sends her DS to a private school, if you ask her the reason why she says they meet his SN perfectly and he'd be not severe enough for SN school but bad enough to struggle in mainstream, he's in a small class of 20 with a TA and a teacher (year 5 or 6 I can't remember exactly) and is happy.

It doesn't mean the DHT hates the system she works in, actually she's very good at fighting for the right school for the DC she is in charge of.

I admire her choice to go against what would be seen as right, to instead get the best education for her son.

The private school wouldn't really bother me - maybe she wants a separate line.

I don't like constant change, one thing that made me chose our fantastic primary was the longevity of the head & the resulting culture of the school.

Most schools have changed curriculum. This is partly in response to massive focus on curriculum by ofsted.
Her personal choices have nothing to do with you nor with how well she manages the school.

Her being off sick for two months will impact the school but you have no way of knowing whether she will be back soon so it is pointless worrying about it.

Choose the school that is most convenient and had the nicest feel. Job done. End of. The other consideration is that staff change. This head could leave tomorrow and you will have put all this angst into a now defunct decision.

The private school would not put me off. I'm an ex teacher and all head teachers that I have worked with work ridiculously long hours. Sometimes private school works out much easier than state as they cab be there much longer which can make childcare easier. The ones around here also do very good holiday care too so it may just work out easier for her.

Former primary school teacher here. I'd say that she sounds like she's career building & will likely stay with the school til she has an outstanding Ofsted under her belt and then move on.
Just a guess but I've had a lot of head teachers. It's a hard job. I've had career builder heads, final salary pension heads and ideologically driven heads. Not sure which is best tbh and there's a lot of burn out.

A head teacher being at a school for years isn’t always good as sometimes you need new eyes to see how things are run.

All local schools have changed their curriculum too. Also bear in mind all results are from 2 years ago, a lot has changed since then

@MargaretThursday

Having been at a school where the head did send his children, I can say that in that case I think it was bad both for the school and his children to be at the same school.

But there will be other state schools, the OP actually says the Head is in a nearby area and she knows the schools there so it doesn't sound like the Head would be sending the children to her own school anyway.

I do agree that it is better for teacher's children to go to a different school, at primary anyway as they tend to be smaller than secondary schools where you can be a bit more distanced.

I base it on how a school feels, whether it suits my child.
Literally anything could happen
At dd3s primary a new headteacher arrived, caused havoc and was let go by Christmas due to every member of staff threatening mass resignation. Did it effect my 5 year old? No, not at all.

Thank you so much to those with genuine insight and advice. I appreciate the perspective as I'm new to all of it. I hadn't realised changing curriculum was a common result of Covid. And that Heads using private provision was commonplace either. I do feel a bit bad for judging her as many of you make valid points about why she may choose to do it that I hadn't considred.

To those (many) who have been, frankly, rude and hostile I think you need to take a look at yourself and the approach you take to Mumsnet. I'm not a stalking "that parent". I'm a genuine person who wants the best for their child, had some concerns and was seeking advice (preferably given in a respectful way as others have). I didn't stalk, I typed her name into Google and it all literally was at my fingertips! The private school and the Head need to lock down their social media if they don't want people accessing the info. Nor do I blame her for anytime she's having off (we all have issues at one point or another). I simply wondered how others felt about it as I combined it all gave me a bit of a red flag. It's ok for parents to challenge the way education or education professionals are; we are paying for the service through taxes. Challenge is good.

I will process what you've all said and will go with my gut. Thank you!

@WhoopsWhatsMyNameAgain Tbe head can't change the curriculum. The national curriculum is national, its in the name. Is this outside the UK?

I'm glad I don't teach in your daughters prospective school!!

Creepy stalking and god forbid you get sick

Private school thing would make me feel we didn't share the same values but wouldn't necessarily mean the school wasn't right.

Most schools are going through massive curriculum changes following the revised inspection framework.

Her being off sick for 2 months could definitely be a red flag, but impossible to know unless you know the reason. Which you shouldn't be able to find out.

People send their kids private or homeschool because they can. Maybe her husband earns quite well. You're overthinking this.

I think it's appalling that you are scrutinising and criticising the decisions an educational professional has made in her private life.

Are teachers not allowed a private life now, without parents twittering about how their choices impact their little darlings?

Which other professions do you scrutinise? Presumably you know where your doctor lives and whether he has ever used a private healthcare provider? Maybe you have an opinion on how your solicitor lives her life?

Bloody hell. The changing curriculum and months of sick leave are fair game but that's all.

And FWIW - if the local private school is better (because they get £15k pa per pupil instead of £4k) for her child then that doesn't mean she isn't fully committed to making her school as outstanding as it can be within the parameters state schools have to work in.

Although to be honest I think the biggest favour you could do for her is take your kid somewhere else.

1. You know nothing about this woman and her child, their circumstances and why she has chosen that particular school. Maybe the child has a learning need that makes the private school a better choice for her. Maybe she needs the wraparound care. Maybe her partner works there and they get a free place for the child. Or maybe she just thinks the school offers her daughter something the other schools in the area don't. Even if she hadn't chosen a private school, she probably wouldn't have put her daughter in her own school anyway - it can make things awkward. Regardless of whatever motivated her decision, it's none of your business and doesn't mean she doesn't believe in what she's doing in her own school.

1. Why shouldn't she be ambitious for herself? Why shouldn't she be looking to learn and grow and further her career? Why would these things be negatives? No, she might not stay at the school forever, but many Heads don't. The days of Heads staying at the same school for ten plus years are gone.

You have no idea why she's been off sick for 2 months. Given her age, maybe she's had a stillbirth or late miscarriage. Life happens to all of us. Sometimes we need some time off work. It doesn't mean we're not good at our jobs or deserve to be judged for it by people poking about on our Linkedin Profiles.

All schools should have curriculum changes every few years. That's good practice. The curriculum change you're referring to is probably the recovery curriculum put in place after covid anyway. Curriculum change is a good thing - schools shouldn't be teaching the same old same old year after year. I'd be very worried if a school weren't constantly looking to innovate and develop what they teach.

Measure a school by how happy the teachers and pupils seem. If they seem happy to be there and the school is full of laughter and fun and creativity then the Head will be a good egg who values the right things in education. If there's silent corridors, lots of focus on strict behaviour policies and endless blathering on about targets and SATs then I'd avoid like the plague - those are the marks of a careerist Head in my experience.

I wouldn't worry about the head. It's the deputy that makes the school what it is, in my experience. They seem to have much more interaction with the pupils, and are often class teachers themselves. It wouldn't worry me that her daughter goes to private school, as it's what people with money do. Doesn't mean she doesn't believe in the state system. Curriculum shake ups are usually a good thing, and shows that they are actively assessing their teaching methods. If the school felt right before you started stalking the head, then it's right.

@MissM2912

The off sick for two months would worry me more than the private school thing.

I've been off sick for 3 months (returning next week) due to fracturing my shoulder. I'd hate for people to judge me for having an accident (fell off bike).

Context is everything.

The National curriculum is the minimum that should be taught, schools are expected to teach beyond this depending on the school context. As the context changes, so should the additional curriculum. A school that teaches the bare minimum is doing the children a dis-service.

@fourminutestosavetheworld

I think it's appalling that you are scrutinising and criticising the decisions an educational professional has made in her private life.

Are teachers not allowed a private life now, without parents twittering about how their choices impact their little darlings?

Which other professions do you scrutinise? Presumably you know where your doctor lives and whether he has ever used a private healthcare provider? Maybe you have an opinion on how your solicitor lives her life?

Bloody hell. The changing curriculum and months of sick leave are fair game but that's all.

And FWIW - if the local private school is better (because they get £15k pa per pupil instead of £4k) for her child then that doesn't mean she isn't fully committed to making her school as outstanding as it can be within the parameters state schools have to work in.

Oh for god's sake, take the wasp from your mouth. You're so rude!

I couldn't care less where she does her weekly shop, which house she lives in, what she watches on TV etc. I care about the school system she chooses because she Heads up a school! It's directly related.

Honestly, I'm flabbergasted at how rude some people are on here. And then how they try to demean others. I bet in real life you wouldn't talk to someone like that!

@WhoopsWhatsMyNameAgain get a grip! Stay out of the woman’s life. She Heads a school.. she doesn’t owe you a damn thing. Stay out of peoples private lives. You come across as desperate and jealous.

[quote User135792468]@WhoopsWhatsMyNameAgain get a grip! Stay out of the woman’s life. She Heads a school.. she doesn’t owe you a damn thing. Stay out of peoples private lives. You come across as desperate and jealous.[/quote]
Jealous?! Now I've heard it all!

The witches are out today clearly! So rude.

Guess it's a good job I'm not a head teacher. There is no way on God's earth my children will ever attend a school I teach in, for so many reasons, but one is wrap around care. Whilst it's true many state schools offer excellent wraparound provision, local private schools offer a more traditional extra curricular activities/clubs which is desirable for me child.

As for being off sick, I had almost 7 months off a few years ago......I collapsed in the staff room and, for all intense and purposes, died. Had to have intensive CPR and my heart restarted with a defib on site. Paramedics stabilised me and I was air lifted to hospital, where I stayed for almost 4 months. My workplace didn't post montly updates in the newsletter explaining the circumstances of my absence. Its also worth noting that had I taken some sick leave in the weeks and months before the incident and got treatment it would never have happened, but as a teacher there is too much pressure (often from parents!!) To not be off sick.

Only way you get to attend sports day, nativities etc