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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Aibu not to buy gifts for teachers?

149 replies

MrsHookey · 10/12/2021 14:35

I do it every year but am just fed up as there are so many expenses. Aibu to just write a nice card instead?

OP posts:
DixonD · 10/12/2021 14:36

I don’t. My daughter has ten teachers involved with her teaching at the moment (primary!). We just do cards.

Original poster
MrsHookey · 10/12/2021 14:37

My sister says they do a hard job and long hours and it's just a little something. Also they remember who bought what. I'm just fed up with copious expenses though.

OP posts:
CrapDrawer · 10/12/2021 14:38

Not unreasonable at all. Gifts are not expected and a nice card is always very much appreciated. (I’m a teacher.)

PurpleDaisies · 10/12/2021 14:38

It’s absolutely fine to do that.

NotAshamedToFancyTheGrinch · 10/12/2021 14:39

You don’t need to be pressured into buying gifts you don’t want to buy . I’m not going to buy presents for teachers when my dc starts school.

Lushplease · 10/12/2021 14:39

Yanbu.

I think some people forget that teachers are actually paid to teach their dc.
Chances are they don't even particularly like your little darlingGrin

HeatingOnHeatingOff · 10/12/2021 14:40

I only do gifts if I feel the teacher has gone the extra mile with my child.

This year is the first time I’ve ever done a teacher gift.

I have a ds in reception and a dd in year 4.

Ds has been hard work since starting school, he has a speech disorder so they are doing speech therapy with him, he’s been soiling a lot in his pants (he hasn’t done it for 2 weeks thank god), and he’s been very disinterested to learn words, letters etc.

He’s had more help in that class than any of the others. He’s having an hour one 2 one with a teacher to help with his words and reading.

The main teacher and teaching assistant who has been doing all the work with him have got a £50 John Lewis voucher each and a personalised card.

modgepodge · 10/12/2021 14:40

@MrsHookey

My sister says they do a hard job and long hours and it's just a little something. Also they remember who bought what. I'm just fed up with copious expenses though.
I’m a teacher. Throughout the years I’ve had a few lovely personal gifts from students and I do remember who bought them, sometimes even years later. What we DONT do though, is remember who didn’t buy for us! It’s fine not to buy anything, really.
Sprig1 · 10/12/2021 14:41

I don't and I don't feel bad about it. Nobody buys me a present for doing my job. If there is a particular teacher who has been exceptional then I am sure that a heartfelt card (and an email to the head teacher, if you fancied it) would be appreciated.

chillydownwiththefiregang · 10/12/2021 14:41

I have contributed a small amount to a collection for eldest DCs teacher, and I am going to ensure she writes a card to the teacher and TA as well.

Youngest DC preschool teacher and assistants I have just done cards.

I can't afford to buy them all something. Speaking as a TA myself.

WhatATimeToBeAlive · 10/12/2021 14:42

YANBU. Not sure when all this started as we certainly didn't do it when I was growing up.

itwasntaparty · 10/12/2021 14:44

We always do a group thing, no pressure, stick a quod or ten or nothing, all kids sign the card.

Elisemum · 10/12/2021 14:46

Not the same situation as I have a toddler in creche but I don’t buy individual gifts. I buy treats for everyone, example a box of donuts or a box of cupcakes and a nice card for everyone saying thank you

TisTheSeasonToBeVegan · 10/12/2021 14:48

I always have presents apart from to one teacher that I didn’t like, but of course you’re not unreasonable if you don’t.

I have 2 teachers in my family and they both say that they pass a lot of the presents on to family and friends anyway.

Hillarious · 10/12/2021 14:50

My friend is a school teacher. I commented on the most delightful silver Christmas ornament on her tree. It was a present from one of her pupils. It reminded her how much she didn't like the child!

MalbecandToast · 10/12/2021 14:52

I've had kids in school for 16 years now and I've never bought them a Christmas gift its fine

TheDuchessOfMN · 10/12/2021 14:54

I stopped doing that a few years ago. It was doable with one DC, not 2+ and TAs

ViceLikeBlip · 10/12/2021 14:55

Of course that's fine! I'm a teacher and I think a genuine card is more meaningful than a box of chocolates anyway (I keep most of my cards from kids and from parents)

JingleJingleAllTheWay · 10/12/2021 15:00

I always put into the class money pool. That way, I don't have to buy several presents and it's cheaper, plus they get one big present each (TA)

You don't have to if you don't want to.

SirensofTitan · 10/12/2021 15:04

Of course you don't have to buy anything, it's not compulsory

Lasair · 10/12/2021 15:05

Yanbu (I’m a teacher) I wouldn’t want someone to give me a gift if it made life harder for them in other areas. A nice card would be lovely! We do get paid a wage. Gifts aren’t required but appreciated!

DoctorSnortles · 10/12/2021 15:08

I love a card. What I really like is an email to the Head saying I’m doing a good job.

I’m really not a huge fan of presents. There’s a limit to the number of mugs I need and my house is already full of stuff I’m trying to get rid of. Alcohol is different, however!

MrsMoastyToasty · 10/12/2021 15:09

My DS is in year 11. I have never bought any teachers a gift for Christmas or end of year. I don't do Christmas cards either.

JustMakingBananaPancakes · 10/12/2021 15:12

My sister is a teacher, and she definitely appreciates thoughtful cards. What she doesn't need is another "world's best teacher" mug or any other trinket you can get from Clintons.

WhenSepEnds · 10/12/2021 15:34

Teachers do a great job....but so do other professions. I do wonder why they are singled out so much? One of my friends has 3 primary age kids and was asked To put in £30 per collection!!! That's far too much IMO (I think she refused) teachers were able to work from home and were in Far safer position than many of us who worked frontline jobs throughout the whole pandemic so I personally don't think it's justified to single them out

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