Page 6 | Aibu not to buy gifts for teachers?

MrsHookey · 2021-12-10T14:35:08+00:00

I do it every year but am just fed up as there are so many expenses. Aibu to just write a nice card instead?

echt · 12/12/2021 03:56

Somebody somewhere will prove me wrong, but I can't think of a teacher who says they WANT a present.

A card is lovely, more than enough, saying something the teacher has done to make things better for your DC. (This can also be used to push them up the next payscale).

TerrifiedandWorried · 12/12/2021 07:41

We would rather have whiteboard markers, photocopier paper, pencils, reading books etc than anything else. It's been a horrific year, budgets are fucked because of cost of supply staff (the only silver lining of not being able to get any supply staff now is that it's cheaper).

TansyZels · 12/12/2021 08:28

Quick question for secondary school teachers:

I’ve always done Christmas emails to the head saying how lovely form tutors have been while DC were in primary. Would it be good to do it now DC are in secondary? I do send thank you emails to specific staff for specific things over the year and we are going to give tubs of chocs and a general card to all staff as well, but there are some teachers who have definitely gone above and beyond in supporting. I’d like to let someone high up know how much we appreciate the extra effort they’ve put in.

334bu · 12/12/2021 08:31

Go for it. Any secondary teacher would love a note of appreciation from parents and if it came through SLT even better.

Thegreencup · 12/12/2021 08:35

I've only ever bought a tin of biscuits or sweets for the staff room.

Last year our DC school said no presents (cos Xmas presents are a spreader of Covid apparently) and asked that people spend the money on foodbank donations instead. Which I think is a fantastic idea.

FrenchFancie · 12/12/2021 08:48

I work in year 1 as a TA - I genuinely don’t want or expect gifts, but I do get a bit … im not sure? Sad when the teacher is given several amazing gifts (large box of chocolates, jewellery in one case!) and I don’t get anything even a Christmas card!

I work for minimum wage and give many hours for free during the year. It’s me that wipes noses, finds changes of clothes etc when accidents happen. I do the first aid and pick your kids up of the floor when they go flying at break times. I’ve been copiously bleed on this year, I’ve been sicked on and cried on. I’ve crawled under the table to retrieve the SEN child who is having a meltdown, and sat under there with them for 40 minutes. I’ve done it all with unvaccinated kids with no face masks and no ventilation (and no pay when I got isolated for having a cough!), and I keep doing it because I enjoy it and it’s a huge privilege to work with kids and see them come on.

If you don’t want to give gifts, or can’t afford it, that’s absolutely fine and no one will think badly of you, no one will treat your children any differently. It does make me feel under appreciated when the teacher is showered in gifts and the TAs are forgotten. We do so much for the kids (because we enjoy it) and it does sting a bit to be left out….

(I’m sure someone will be along in a minute to call me grabby and rude 🤷‍♀️)

TheDuchessOfMN · 12/12/2021 09:03

Not grabby or rude at all @FrenchFancie
I’d rather not buy anything, than exclude TAs (like I already said upthread).

PoorMegHopkins · 12/12/2021 09:14

Nope, no need for presents.
Yes, we love cards and notes.
We like all the children.
We were in school the whole time.
We are still in school with high Covid rates.
We are aware we get paid.
We are aware other people work hard too.
We don’t want struggling parents to spend on us.
Really. No need.

Think that covers it?

BorsetshireBanality · 12/12/2021 09:18

A few years ago I gave DD a tub of Celebrations and asked her to take it to the staff room, but she gave it to the nice secretary on reception instead. Actually I think she made a good call giving it to the nicest kindest person in the school!

Thewindsofchange · 12/12/2021 09:21

How about something like this if you think the teacher has done a good job?

thankateacher.co.uk/about-us/

We've used it before for a teacher who did an amazing job with our difficult ds and they were really touched. I think it goes on this school record.

MsJuniper · 12/12/2021 10:07

We always used to take a present for the teacher so it's been "a thing" for a long time.

Now I am a teacher and I do appreciate the gifts and cards. It makes me feel like I am an extended part of each child's family, more than just a service provider. I give them a card and token gift too.

Unfortunately I am diabetic so don't eat sweets, chocolate or wine and am crap at looking after plants, so most gifts are wasted on me although at least the food bank gets the treats.

I am currently wearing a very snuggly dressing gown which has definitely been my most useful and used teacher-present to date! No-one's ever bought me a mug though 😭

My son's school does a collection and it's very low-stress for parents and I assume nice for the teachers. All the children sign the card and there's no set amount for those who contribute.

MintyGreenDream · 12/12/2021 10:38

I got teacher a personalised bauble only a couple of quid

dayouttobangor · 12/12/2021 12:10

A nice card seems fine to me.

CheesyFootballsAreEvil · 12/12/2021 18:31

@MintyGreenDream

I got teacher a personalised bauble only a couple of quid

They probably have enough of their own and why would they want reminding of work on their Christmas break?

Iwantthesummersun · 12/12/2021 18:34

There’s absolutely no need. I am always hugely grateful and appreciative but don’t expect it. Actually, I always find a use for all those mugs too!

Newmumatlast · 13/12/2021 07:52

@LethargicActress

There are plenty of jobs that are hard and long hours yet don't routinely get gifts given at Christmas.. i never get this sycophantic gift giving of teachers. It's a job. Nothing else..

This is true, but then there are lots of jobs that routinely command tips from many people, without much rhyme or reason. I never get why teacher gifts get so much criticism compared to hairdressers, drivers, postmen, refuse collectors etc getting tips.

To be honest I don't give tips or gifts to them either. I only give tips in restaurants because it is the convention but I don't agree with tipping or gifting as routine for someone doing a job they are paid for. Doing a good job should be expected. I don't disagree with giving a letter of thanks or even a gift for stand out work/going above and beyond though.

When I was at school there were gifts at primary for teachers but not secondary. I wouldn't have wanted to gift every teacher- some didnt do a good job to be honest. Yet I had others who were amazing. One stand out teacher I sought out after uni and emailed thanks to for her influence and hard work. She was not liked by alot of students because she disciplined but she was actually an exceptional teacher and I felt she should know that.

Newmumatlast · 13/12/2021 07:58

@MsJuniper

We always used to take a present for the teacher so it's been "a thing" for a long time.

Now I am a teacher and I do appreciate the gifts and cards. It makes me feel like I am an extended part of each child's family, more than just a service provider. I give them a card and token gift too.

Unfortunately I am diabetic so don't eat sweets, chocolate or wine and am crap at looking after plants, so most gifts are wasted on me although at least the food bank gets the treats.

I am currently wearing a very snuggly dressing gown which has definitely been my most useful and used teacher-present to date! No-one's ever bought me a mug though 😭

My son's school does a collection and it's very low-stress for parents and I assume nice for the teachers. All the children sign the card and there's no set amount for those who contribute.

Collections are ok but can be worse than individual gift giving so schools should keep an eye out for them tbh.

I have a friend who was asked to contribute to a collection and all paid £5 so not an unreasonable sum but the parent who organised it had showed the other parents a gift she would buy with it then made it herself (clearly) - 100% not worth 30x £5. Can't say what it was as could be outing but genuinely was awful. Another who was struggling was asked for £20 and told everyone had to give that sum but she couldn't afford it and was pressured in the WhatsApp on the basis 'everyone else' had.

I'd rather stay away from collections as they just seem to be an opportunity for people taking the piss with the purchase (there was a thread here the other day too where the person bought body shop stuff not agreed to) or for pressure being put on people who cannot afford it. I think it only really works if there is a good relationship between all organising and contributing but that isn't always going to be the case with changing classes and alot of parents.

MalbecandToast · 13/12/2021 07:58

Comparing tipping waiting staff to buying gifts for teachers is ridiculous. A member of waiting staff warns national minimum wage, a primary school teacher can earn anything from 30-40k a year

Magissa · 13/12/2021 08:24

I taught in secondary for years and while it was lovely to get a gift, for me, a card with a nice message means so much more. I have kept them all in a folder and occasionally still get them out to read.

WoWsers16 · 13/12/2021 14:04

@FrenchFancie

I work in year 1 as a TA - I genuinely don’t want or expect gifts, but I do get a bit … im not sure? Sad when the teacher is given several amazing gifts (large box of chocolates, jewellery in one case!) and I don’t get anything even a Christmas card!

I work for minimum wage and give many hours for free during the year. It’s me that wipes noses, finds changes of clothes etc when accidents happen. I do the first aid and pick your kids up of the floor when they go flying at break times. I’ve been copiously bleed on this year, I’ve been sicked on and cried on. I’ve crawled under the table to retrieve the SEN child who is having a meltdown, and sat under there with them for 40 minutes. I’ve done it all with unvaccinated kids with no face masks and no ventilation (and no pay when I got isolated for having a cough!), and I keep doing it because I enjoy it and it’s a huge privilege to work with kids and see them come on.

If you don’t want to give gifts, or can’t afford it, that’s absolutely fine and no one will think badly of you, no one will treat your children any differently. It does make me feel under appreciated when the teacher is showered in gifts and the TAs are forgotten. We do so much for the kids (because we enjoy it) and it does sting a bit to be left out….

(I’m sure someone will be along in a minute to call me grabby and rude 🤷‍♀️)

TAs are the schools secret weapon - I absolutely adore my TAs and the classes wouldn't run as brilliantly as they do without them! I never open any gifts at school , I save them for Christmas Day so my TA never know what I've got as well I don't know what she's got: With collections we all get the same - which I think is what it should be if that is happening as TAs in our school do stick to one class. I think it's the TAs who are in and out that can be tricky for some. Xxx

Chakraleaf · 13/12/2021 16:35

Mine have all been sent home due to school closing so I got out of teacher gifting this year!

Mammyloveswine · 13/12/2021 18:44

I'm a teacher.. I'd love just a nice card!

Tbh I teach in a deprived area and definitely don't expect anything!!

tootootaataa · 13/12/2021 19:11

@BorsetshireBanality

A few years ago I gave DD a tub of Celebrations and asked her to take it to the staff room, but she gave it to the nice secretary on reception instead. Actually I think she made a good call

giving it to the nicest kindest person in the school!

I love this!!!

funinthesun19 · 13/12/2021 19:14

I don’t. There are just so many teachers.