Aibu not to buy gifts for teachers?

[MrsHookey]

I do it every year but am just fed up as there are so many expenses. Aibu to just write a nice card instead?

Oh and biscuits every week for a snack too 🙄

I've been a teacher since 2005. My honest opinion is this: I don't want anything. Not even because of very valid reasons like 'it's my job!' But quite practically because I don't want a load of crap. Sorry but that's the way it is. 28+ people in a class giving a mixture of 'best teacher mug', figurines, homemade food, wine etc. It's overwhelming. I don't want a load of homemade stuff - I have my own kids for that and I certainly don't want food when I don't know the ingredients. I can't drink alcohol and don't think it should be gifted if you don't know the person well. I certainly don't want a lot of toot I then feel guilty over binning.

Just don't give anything.

As for gift cards and money. That makes me uncomfortable.

There's always the poor kid in the class who hasn't got a gift wirh them who gets upset.

Don't give teachers presents. Those teachers who are suggesting gift options are just grabby. We don't NEED anything. We ARE doing our jobs.

@Passmethecrisps

As a secondary teacher I am not used to getting gifts. When I have had them it has been from the young person and so very much valued and appreciated. But that’s not the gift as much as the thought and the relationship.

A lovely card, a hand made thing, a letter of appreciation if you genuinely feel it. All will be well received but there would be no issue of there is nothing given.

I know someone who spent no less than £50 on teacher gifts. She then got annoyed when her child was told off as “I buy her gifts”. So please don’t feel that teachers are favouring those who buy expensive things

My son is at sixth form now and a few of them arranged for a Costa delivery for their teachers. Thought that was sweet as they sorted it themselves. These things mean more!

The best thing any parent could give me, if they really appreciated me, would be a positive email to the deputy head.
My current class are great, but recognised as the class with the largest amount of needs in the school and I am utterly drained. Any kind word from a child or parent to say thank you would be incredibly appreciated. Physical gifts are unnecessary.

I saw on here about buying pens etc for the class so we did that end of term just a big set so everyone can use them and teacher doesn't have to take it home.

I contribute £5 to the gift collection (which gets a gift for the teacher and TAs) and write a card to the teacher. Those are treasured more than a box of chocolates.
If you want to say a real thank you, I have emailed that head teacher to pass on my thanks, detailing what they have done that was above and beyond. This means they get recognition (and can be used for their performance management - the ultimate gift 😉)
I am a teacher and gifts are not necessary. Cards and kind words really do stay with you.

@chalamet

The best thing any parent could give me, if they really appreciated me, would be a positive email to the deputy head. My current class are great, but recognised as the class with the largest amount of needs in the school and I am utterly drained. Any kind word from a child or parent to say thank you would be incredibly appreciated. Physical gifts are unnecessary.

I'm going to do this :)

@MrsHookey
do it every year but am just fed up as there are so many expenses. Aibu to just write a nice card instead?
Teacher here and I would much rather have a nice card with a thank you written in or lovely message than any present. Yes, I’ve a few presents I’ve kept that remind me of particular children, but I’ve kept every card from my time in teaching and remember those fondly.

Not unreasonable at all. I only contribute money to our class gift for the teacher because I don't want to look mean in front of the other parents. If someone didn't start the collection every year I wouldn't bother. My DC writes a card for the teacher and assistants, but only because she wants to.

Please don't feel like you need to get gifts, it is not expected or necessary. What means the most to me is a simple thank you, whether in person, card or email. It's always lovely to hear that all of our hard work is appreciated. I would never want to add to the burden of what is already an expensive time of year.

I’m a primary teacher. I get paid just over £40k a year. DH earns far more than that and we have no children. I am far more privileged than the majority of children I teach. I do not need gifts. I love my job and I really love spending time with my pupils.

I ask the ht every year if we can have a ban on families giving presents and other staff protest and say they like the gifts.

I feel guilty when I know stretched families feel pressure to buy an extra gift. My favourite things are thoughtful notes from parents and children. I can keep them in a file, as they don’t take up much space, then look through them occasionally and remember that child.

@Goatinthegarden

I’m a primary teacher. I get paid just over £40k a year. DH earns far more than that and we have no children. I am far more privileged than the majority of children I teach. I do not need gifts. I love my job and I really love spending time with my pupils.

I ask the ht every year if we can have a ban on families giving presents and other staff protest and say they like the gifts.

I feel guilty when I know stretched families feel pressure to buy an extra gift. My favourite things are thoughtful notes from parents and children. I can keep them in a file, as they don’t take up much space, then look through them occasionally and remember that child.

I agree that gifts shouldn’t be compulsory and don’t expect presents from any of the children I teach but you can’t use your high earning family as the example to get present giving banned. Teachers at the bottom of the pay scale earn far less than you, TAs earn less still. They may then be the highest earner in the household.

Though not necessary, it is nice to receive gifts and after the shitter of a year we’ve had so far, I will be very grateful for gifts, cards and words of thanks. I will get my own kid’s teachers and TAs a small gift and card from
the children. I won’t think any less of children who don’t by gifts for whatever reason.

@HeatingOnHeatingOff

I only do gifts if I feel the teacher has gone the extra mile with my child.

This year is the first time I’ve ever done a teacher gift.

I have a ds in reception and a dd in year 4.

Ds has been hard work since starting school, he has a speech disorder so they are doing speech therapy with him, he’s been soiling a lot in his pants (he hasn’t done it for 2 weeks thank god), and he’s been very disinterested to learn words, letters etc.

He’s had more help in that class than any of the others. He’s having an hour one 2 one with a teacher to help with his words and reading.

The main teacher and teaching assistant who has been doing all the work with him have got a £50 John Lewis voucher each and a personalised card.

They go the extra mile every time they worked outside school hours.

I have 4 kids. I have never bought presents and nothing has happened because of it! Even if the teachers do remember, so what?

I've had another mum almost crying to me in the playground about affording teacher Christmas presents. She felt like she had to do it even though she had no money at all. It's so sad.

@earlydoors42

I have 4 kids. I have never bought presents and nothing has happened because of it! Even if the teachers do remember, so what?

And they don’t remember unless they’re arseholes! Most teachers are grateful for any gifts they do get but not judgemental about anyone who doesn’t get them a gift.

Yes a good idea- this year I have already bought

Stuff for baking
Flour etc for playdough
Craft items
Books (we don't have enough of the story)
Glue sticks
Felt tip pens*

This stuff floors me. How can the government or education boards get away with not buying the basic tools required for the job, or encouraging parents too.

The parents should be supplying their children's stationary tools leaving any access funds for schools in deprived areas.

Education is the most important thing you can give a DC, not having basic teaches them it is not very important or worthy of funding since poor teacher is the only one spending personal money.

@MrsHookey

My sister says they do a hard job and long hours and it's just a little something. Also they remember who bought what. I'm just fed up with copious expenses though.

Thanks, yes we do work long hours and put a lot of care into our work.... however I always tell my pupils that teachers know that Christmas is a very expensive time, so gifts are absolutely not necessary, but if they'd like to write me a card or do me a drawing, that would be lovely. My kids' school sends out a letter every year asking parents to please not add to the financial strain of Christmas by getting staff presents.

Honestly, we don't expect it!

My view is that the teacher has your child in their care for a lot of the year. My children are my most precious possessions so yes, they liked to give a card and present to their teacher.

You teachers are an incredible lot

I'm a teacher (and a parent). Christmas gifts get crazily expensive. A card is lovely especially if you add a nice message (assuming your child is happy!). Nice gifts are often the cheapest, like a packet of seeds, a bauble or home made biscuits. But no gift is completely fine. I think costs can spiral scarily and your child's teacher won't want you spending money you don't have.

As a secondary school teacher I would be thrilled with a card from any of the pupils I teach.

@earlydoors42

I've had another mum almost crying to me in the playground about affording teacher Christmas presents. She felt like she had to do it even though she had no money at all. It's so sad.

this is exactly why i make my policy on gifts very clear.

It's morally abhorrent and quite unfestive when you think about it. Unnecessary pressure.

I would far rather happy parents and pupils learning and behaving than any gift.

@Passmethecrisps

As a secondary teacher I am not used to getting gifts. When I have had them it has been from the young person and so very much valued and appreciated. But that’s not the gift as much as the thought and the relationship.

A lovely card, a hand made thing, a letter of appreciation if you genuinely feel it. All will be well received but there would be no issue of there is nothing given.

I know someone who spent no less than £50 on teacher gifts. She then got annoyed when her child was told off as “I buy her gifts”. So please don’t feel that teachers are favouring those who buy expensive things

One of my pupils embroidered a sampler with a quotation praising teachers. Her father framed it for me.That was a lovely gift.

Christ almighty, I don't have children but every year I am always flabbergasted at threads belly aching over what to buy teachers for Christmas. My DM was a single parent on benefits, so maybe i am projecting somewhat.