Aibu not to buy gifts for teachers?

[MrsHookey]

I do it every year but am just fed up as there are so many expenses. Aibu to just write a nice card instead?

If all this end of year presents had to be organised by the dads:it wouldnt be happening

It a rediculous tradition. More pressure and more expensive and more mental load for women. just what we needed . I am having my kid write a letter /card at the end of the year. Gifts are ott imo.

True. Dads would never bother with this.

@FlyingPandas

I contribute to teacher gifts, but tbh I think most teachers are happy with a genuine heartfelt thank you.

I always send a short email to my DC's teachers to say thank you at the end of term. It always slightly staggers me how genuinely chuffed each class teacher is to get that actual written thank you note - it makes me sad, in a way, because it's clearly not something that many parents do - and I think that can be appreciated far more than John Lewis vouchers or a Christmas plant.

A note from a parent or child is always lovely - it is the thought that counts, and it is nice to feel appreciated, because we do try really hard to make sure every child is happy and learning to the best of their ability. So when I get a personally drawn card ( as I did today) written by a child, and signed by her and her older sibling (who I taught a few years ago) it made me quite emotional. When I mention that I like a particular colour, and the pupil remembers that and makes a card in that colour, it is lovely. When a child writes how much they enjoyed learning a particular topic, which I have spent hours and hours planning and preparing to make it interesting and fun, it makes me feel it is worthwhile. The thing about letters and notes and cards is that they say things that people might genuinely feel but not necessarily voice out loud, and so it is always touching to receive them. An email to the head if you feel warmly about a particular teacher is great too, and can have long-lasting effects!

YANBU

A thank you note for their hard work will be more appreciated than any gift. It is a ridiculous idea and unnecessarily onerous on many parents and I say this as a teacher.

Dc are in y3 and y5. I usually buy teacher gifts but this year the teachers have not been great for various reasons . I bought chocolate biscuits for the school office staff though as they are always so helpful.

As a secondary teacher I am not used to getting gifts. When I have had them it has been from the young person and so very much valued and appreciated. But that’s not the gift as much as the thought and the relationship.

A lovely card, a hand made thing, a letter of appreciation if you genuinely feel it. All will be well received but there would be no issue of there is nothing given.

I know someone who spent no less than £50 on teacher gifts. She then got annoyed when her child was told off as “I buy her gifts”. So please don’t feel that teachers are favouring those who buy expensive things

Exactly this . I have been a teacher for many years and l never give one thought to whoever didn't buy me a present. But l do remember when parents say a little thing like..Danny loves being in your class or Wow you have really helped Lucy with her reading. Totally fine not to buy a present..honestly.
And never once in all the years has a fellow teacher passed a comment to me on a present they got or didn't get.

This again????

No one has to buy for anyone!! Do what you want and stop fretting about it. I don't care if anyone gets me a present or not 🙄. Teachers don't care.

It's not just teachers though is it? Postmen, milkman etc are all leaving cards now hoping for a tip/gift. Seems to be everyone thinks it's just the education profession expecting gifts when they actually aren't!!!

@SpeckledlyHen
"It's a job. Nothing else.."

This week, on top of my 32.5 hours of paid work, I've done 3 unpaid lunchtime/afterschool classes to help Y11 prepare for their Mocks, given four unpaid hours of coaching to my two trainee teachers, stood on the freezing sidelines for an hour watching my Y9 boys in a football match, volunteered at our evening carol concert until 9pm, did extra unpaid duties all week to cover staff absence, covered a colleague's 2 lessons so she could take a relative to hospital, and had what felt like a million guidance conversations about Options choices in any given free moment.
I've bought chocs and sweets as prizes and treats for my very tired and flagging students, and doughnuts for my team. Fruit for kids who I know are struggling for food at home, boxes and boxes of tissues because everyone has a cold.

I'd be very very grateful of a lovely card that said words to the effect of "you've made a difference to my kid" because that's why I do it all. Presents not necessary.

Cards were always welcome and more than enough.

It’s a lovely thing to do but definitely not expected. Teachers have had such a hard time throughout this pandemic, being blamed for all the government’s decisions, working in unsafe conditions, government saying kids don’t get COVID or spread it and schools are safe when it blatantly isn’t true, covering staff absences and isolations, working both in person and online at the same time etc etc
There has been such a lot of nastiness towards teachers that a card or note saying thank you would really go a long way. They have really not been recognised and instead have been demonised as if they were the ones who closed schools. Moral is at rock bottom at the moment.

Our school have specifically requested that we don't send in a gift. It's a completely ridiculous and totally unnecessary thing to do. More schools should put the foot down and tell parents not to worry about this. Teachers do not need, expect or want gifts. Even a few pound into a collection puts pressure on parents and no teacher wants to make parents feel they have to do this. I send a card with a note thanking the staff for their efforts and wishing them a merry Christmas. I guarantee that means more to them than any well intentioned gift.

I've retired early but the best present I ever got was from a Sixth form who had all clubbed together and bought me a cheeseboard and some nice pate. So thoughtful and they told me it was for all the unpaid revision sessions I had held after school in run up to their A levels.

At DD's primary, we used to collect a couple of quid from each parent in the class and get the teacher some JL or M&S vouchers, maybe flowers. At secondary, it is not a thing. There is no need to buy teachers presents.

Having said that, I did always ask teachers if there was anything they needed for the classroom and often supplied eg boxes of tissues or pritt sticks which were always gratefully received.

@mistermagpie

I feel so much better after reading this thread! I have three children, two in nursery where multiple staff are involved in their care but they have a single key worker each. Then I have one at school with two class teachers plus the TAs etc. The buying of gifts for all these people is honestly more than we can afford but I was feeling like the only parent in the world who was planning to just do cards. I'm glad I'm not alone.

I'm appalled at the pressure some of you are under to contribute quite large sums of money for a gift. It really isn't necessary. Your schools should make a policy about this: only cards are acceptable. You should raise it with school governors if it is all getting out of hand.

A card is fine, don't even have to do that if you can't afford cards. I hate that there is this pressure every year. It just needs to calm down a bit. It loses the real spirit of Christmas if people give out of some sort of sense of obligation.

I bought DS1 teacher wine, because next year she is teaching DS2 and she will need it.

I know a teacher , primary school, and he just throws them all in the bin.

I’m a teacher. Please don’t buy gifts.
It’s of course lovely to be thought of, but in my school every gift has to be declared, logged and forms filled in.
Much nicer to receive a card we can hang up in the classroom and that’s not necessary either.
Honestly, we are not in it for gifts, but thank you anyway.

@MrsHookey

I am a teacher. I do not like the whole teacher gift giving as I always think of the families who cannot afford or feel embarrassed that they cannot buy a gift. I feel uncomfortable. If people want to say thanks i encourage them to pay it forward and donate to a food bank at their own discretion.

I find it morally abhorrent. We do not need gifts. I have a salary.

A happy pupil doing the best they can at learning is thanks enough.

I’m the child of a teacher and I loved the tradition of buying presents for teachers. It meant I got to eat lots of extra boxes of chocolate 😂 but seriously a card is a nice meaningful gesture.

@Grayskelly

I bought DS1 teacher wine, because next year she is teaching DS2 and she will need it.

🤣

Honestly, it's fine. While I do appreciate gifts, I also appreciate a card. And nothing is fine too - everyone is hard up this year. I am not buying my class presents this year- I just can't afford it either! I vowed this year to stop spending money of my own in class as the pressure to do so was ridiculous - I shouldn't have to be buying the pencils. I worked out that i'd spent 300 quid approx on things for my class the previous year. Books the school couldn't provide, decent art supplies, cushions for the book corner, sketching pencils etc. I sort of wish that there was a gift ban and that those who can or want to contribute put money into a classroom resources pot. That would help me and the kids the most. Or vote for a party that doesn't cut funding to the bone.

* I sort of wish that there was a gift ban and that those who can or want to contribute put money into a classroom resources pot*

Excellent idea. I dread to think how much money I have spent on class resources over the years.

@334bu

* I sort of wish that there was a gift ban and that those who can or want to contribute put money into a classroom resources pot*

Excellent idea. I dread to think how much money I have spent on class resources over the years.

Yes a good idea- this year I have already bought

Stuff for baking
Flour etc for playdough
Craft items
Books (we don't have enough of the story)
Glue sticks
Felt tip pens