To ground my dd indefinitely and take her phone

[Autumnbe]

Long and short of it went through my dd12 phone last night and saw photos on her phone (saved not active message) of a boy with his top off, next saved photo was her posing in her bikini with her face scrubbed out. Upon questioning her it transpires that she did infact send him this picture. She doesn’t know him well and has not been in contact since.

We are a very open family, sit down to dinner every night, discuss the day, very close. I feel like I don’t know her at the moment. I also feel very guilty for not being aware that she potentially would do this.

I’m worried if I don’t punish her now, her behaviour will spiral.

She also has pornhub in her search history, which she said was a joke with her friend. Her friends are also into vapping. She is adamant that she hasn’t tried it but what do I do?

12 year old? I'd be ashamed.

A year ago I blocked all of the sm apps on my DDs phone having seen some disgusting and sexualised sm messages sent to her that she wisnt tell me about and didn't know how to deal with so she deletes and I found them

I would have gone to police if we could have saved or tracked down who sent them, of course a year later she tells me she knew it was a boy in her year (13 -14 yo ) at her school whom we don't know but she knew name of, but she's off IG and Snapchat amyway. Too late to recover now but she was 13 at the time and had all the lessons on safe social media talk and still couldn't protect herself and I went ape to see what was going on in general. Teenagers are awful

I still check her phone

I still reserve the right to remove apps and her phone access

I want to protect her

I blocked IG and sc chat for and she tells me when anyone send anything dodgy

I Tojo k unlimited social media contact on personal mobiles is not what anyone parent should agree to until DCs are at least 15 and savvy and can and will say "no don't be a creep "

• I think

just don’t let her have a smart phone. Honestly it’s way too much responsibility for your average young teen.

if she’s doing this at 12, what is she going to be doing at 14. Tell her it’s not a punishment, you just want her to stay safe. Tell her your sorry, you thought it would be okay for her to have a smart phone but you were wrong.

She won’t be happy but providing her mental health is okay she will adapt. Social media is horrendous for young people. We are in the wrong for expecting them to be able to handle it.

Don't shame her for having a sexuality