To be so upset I’ve been denied leave to attend a funeral

[Purplehighlighters]

I’m quite shocked about this and really upset … not even sure why I’m posting but a bit stunned.

Do they deserve you? That's a genuine question, if they do things like this, what else do they do that's completely unreasonable? How's the job market at schools locally? Are there so many positives to your school that's it's worth working for people like this? There's a (really quite significant) national shortage of teachers, would be be reasonable to look for another job? Some SLT treat their staff so incredibly poorly, it's a wonder they ever went into teaching in the first place.

Personally I would approach the head and ask if you can arrange cover whether you will be allowed to go. If they say yes then I would email all staff explaining you have a funeral to attend but only if you can find cover. State that you will return the favour and cover a lesson or duty for them in return.

I was in a similar situation as a secondary school teacher. I got one colleague to double up her lesson and another to teach my class in her free period. I then went to the Head and asked for the time off. I was out of school for two hours.

@luluBlakey1 school staff can't take unpaid leave without permission.

I should add that I had wonderful colleagues in my department!

OP,
I'm so sorry for the loss of your friend.

It would be one thing if cover genuinely couldn't be found, but to refuse an exceptional request is awful.

I would be deeply unhappy in these circumstances.

How often in the past 5 years have you asked for a similar accommodation?

If it is completely abnormal, I think you should consider lodging a complaint.

A decent Principal would appreciate the sincerity of your request and try an accommodate you.

I think you're getting a hard time on this thread OP. It sounds like the lesson could be covered by other staff but the head has refused to. I'm not sure what you can do about that and it is really frustrating. I would be very upset and would make that known. Surely you won't be as capable in the lesson as you'll be upset and frustrated at missing the funeral. Sorry you're having a shit time and sending love

Do you not have a TA

What date is the funeral

Tell them you'll be signed off sick with stress if they don't let you go
It sounds very unreasonable

If there are staff members who could cover for the hour then yes they are being very unreasonable.

I think the Head is being an arse. I would do all I could to accommodate a request from someone I manage to attend a funeral especially if they were willing to arrange cover themselves and only wanted an hour. I get schools migjt be more challenging than many workplaces but it will just breed resentment if staff feel unsupported.

I'm sorry for your loss OP. When I saw the thread title I knew you'd be a teacher. Your head is vile.

Just call in sick and go to the funeral. Life is just too short (as you obviously know in these circumstances) to care about nonsense rules from employers. Go and pay your respects to your friend. That's much more important.

Sorry for your loss

If it's a close and old friend ( as in time not age ) I think that's a bit unkind
I'm a teacher and I'd be allowed to go
Can you just take a couple hours...rather than whole day ?

Condolences on your loss, OP. :( I know some schools are really stretched right now. But, it is awful that several SLT staff are available who could cover for an hour and your Head has still refused. It is a one-off special situation; I don't think you're being unreasonable at all. x

@Purplehighlighters I'm so sorry that you've lost your friend and your headteacher is being a toss-pot.

I'm a teacher too, although primary, and I actually left my previous school for a very similar reason. I was denied leave for a funeral as it was not deemed as 'close family'. I made a complaint to the governors and the request was still turned down. I started applying for other jobs the same day as I couldn't bear the thought of spending the next 30 years working somewhere knowing I'd miss the funerals of my nearest and dearest as they weren't considered 'close family'.

When I handed in my notice they tried to back track. They also commented when I asked for my attendance record for my new school how little leave I'd taken in 5 years (sickness, carers etc).

I'm now at a lovely, caring school who I see are wonderful when other colleagues are in similar situations and I feel reassured that should I ever need to, leave would be unquestionably granted along with a cuppa made and a check in of how I'm feeling.

I knew you would be a teacher when I read the OP. Some HTs have absolutely no compassion.

You know what to do next time you are expected to work unpaid after school, or to take a school trip out that runs into your own time, or any of the dozens of other things you are expected to do in the spirit of 'good will'. It's a two way street isn't it?

@amillionmenonmars

I knew you would be a teacher when I read the OP. Some HTs have absolutely no compassion.

You know what to do next time you are expected to work unpaid after school, or to take a school trip out that runs into your own time, or any of the dozens of other things you are expected to do in the spirit of 'good will'. It's a two way street isn't it?

Yes, this seems blindingly obvious, but probably necessary to point out given the experiences of OP and a lot of posters on here. I wonder how much goodwill this headteacher manages to get back, and what the staff turnover of the school is.

@Purplehighlighters I’m sorry about your friend. It’s very unfair that you’ve been denied an hour’s leave to attend the funeral. Be sure to say no to any requests for cover or extra work that are not convenient for you in that school in future!

@Philandbill yep me too, I used to work for a Head like OPs, they'd refuse leave even for grandparents. Imagine being the only grandchild not at the funeral because your boss just felt like saying no. They can cover staff for a pointless meetings, but a funeral is a no no. Leaving that school was one of the best decisions I've ever made. In what other professions do staff get treated like this? I sometimes wonder if some people go into teaching (and rise to SLT), because they enjoy being mean. They bully their students then they bully their staff. I agree that making a complaint is worthwhile. It could be important evidence in the future if there's ever a need to take action against a Head. Heads have been removed due to high staff turnover that concerned the parents and governors. It can be a warning sign that things aren't right, then they can usually find other evidence that they're not leading the school effectively.

OP, I'm sorry to hear about your bereavement and the way you are being treated. I haven't RTFT. As a GP, I'd sign you off sick with 'bereavement' or 'work-related stress' or a combination of both if you came to me.

@Purplehighlighters

It is the funeral of a friend.

Teacher, can’t take annual leave.

Yes, that's unreasonable.

I'd go to the doctors and ask to be signed off with stress. If they're going to be like that then I'd have no qualms about fucking them over for a week or 2.

Hello, sorry about the loss of your friend. Schools are very careful at the moment. I had to isolate is November to protect my husband during cancer treatment. It was granted as unpaid. A supply teacher was brought in. I think if you ask for unpaid they may allow it?
It’s really difficult to know what the reasons are. Maybe lots of people are asking for time off and they HT just wants to put a stop to it. Who knows?

I recall hearing a Headteacher being asked for 9 people to be released go to a funeral on the same day (a former colleague from many decades before). They were told it was impossible to run the school with 9 extra absent on top those already off. It was suggested that 1 could represent them all at the funeral and the rest were told they could go the evening before to the church when a short service was to be held to 'welcome the deceased' to lie overnight in the church. (Obviously in their own time)
The Headteacher went to the 'reception of the body'. None of the 9 staff did.

@Purplehighlighters

It is the funeral of a friend.

Teacher, can’t take annual leave.

It was my experience as a teacher that leave was given for the funeral of close family, I think Aunt/Uncle was as far out as it went, I know that I couldn't attend the funeral of a cousin.