To be so upset I’ve been denied leave to attend a funeral

[Purplehighlighters]

I’m quite shocked about this and really upset … not even sure why I’m posting but a bit stunned.

So sorry to hear this. It really comes down to senior staff in school. I'm a primary teacher and was allowed a morning off last week (unpaid of course) to attend a funeral for my neighbour/friend. Head teacher went above and beyond arranging cover for that morning. Are they usually good about other things?

@MrsLarry most employers are strict on compassionate leave for a funeral. If she was using annual leave does it matter?

You would definitely be dismissed for pretending to have covid symptoms and going to a funeral!

[quote julieca]@MrsLarry most employers are strict on compassionate leave for a funeral. If she was using annual leave does it matter?[/quote]
As long as she has enough leave of course

YANBU. Yes schools have a general policy that you can't have time off for a funeral unless it's an immediate family member (parent, spouse, sibling or child), but not all schools stick to this religiously. My school don't, they can be reasonable, especially when it's only a hour. My school have given time off for things like nativity plays and family weddings abroad in term time,so they're not all run by heartless managers.
They could at least let you go unpaid, to just say no outright, when it involves so little cover, is very callous. There isn't anything you can do however, apart from withdraw goodwill. So don't run the voluntary club, refuse to do the Year 11 intervention, work to rule essentially. It may seem pretty, but that's how schools take advantage, they run on goodwill and lots of the positive things that happen at schools wouldn't if staff didn't go above and beyond. Unless you actually want to leave (which would be reasonable given you work for an arseholes Head, who is probably a dick in other ways too), then working to rule may make you feel a bit better, at least in the short term, so they're not taking you for a mug. If they want to follow the letter of their rules with no flexibility, you should so to imo.

@MrsLarry she would have to be going to more than 2 funerals a month for that to be an issue.

Sorry, I meant petty not pretty!

@Purplehighlighters

You would definitely be dismissed for pretending to have covid symptoms and going to a funeral!

I’m not suggesting you do that. I’d be going off on stress and getting a doctors note as they sound like bastards and I wouldn’t owe them anything But regarding the situation you described- that would be on them to prove.

If you have a permanent contact- they wouldn’t be able to have you struck off the teaching register on the suspicion you didn’t have covid. You are giving them way too much power.

OP, I am a teacher of many years’ experience. In every school I’ve worked in the headteacher would permit this if you had made an informal arrangement for cover with a colleague and presented it as a fait accompli. Apologies if this has been suggested as I have read OP’S posts but not the whole thread:

Can you run a report for the relevant period on your MIS to find the list of staff not teaching during the relevant period and approach them individually and personally, asking if they will cover you? You will reciprocate in the new year. I truly have never worked anywhere where teachers wouldn’t help each other out with this.

I’m with you OP. I think different schools have different cultures. Yours sounds crap. My school lets people have time off for any funeral. It’s not based on what relation you were to the deceased.

Leave for funerals shouldn't be based on the odd pisstaker who has a ‘funeral’ to attend every other week. The vast majority of people aren’t like this!

I would call in sick and go, personally.

@Klkkk you have posted this on someone else's post...you need to start a new thread as what you've written is both irrelevant and insensitive to this post.

I am sorry for the loss of your friend.

I worked in Primary Education and this was the norm. I couldn’t go to my next door neighbour’s funeral luckily my husband was home.
I needed to stay due to the distance when my aunt died unexpectedly during half term. I was next of kin so had to deal with everything and the Deputy Head complained when I returned. She actually said” She was just an aunt it wasn’t like you lived with her or anything!” I then told her I had indeed lived with our beloved aunt three times during my life. She didn’t say anything else but went very quiet.
I asked to be let out a little early to go to a funeral of a boy that lived a few doors from us previously and it was not allowed. I legged it out of there and ran to the church which was nearby. The Head had gone and then realised I knew the family well when my sons were there and we all hugged their family. He asked me later and said he hadn’t realised we were close so I think he felt a bit bad about it. He knew the mother. Her son had committed suicide which was totally unexpected by everyone.
I realise it is difficult but sometimes friends can be closer and more involved in your life than relatives. It is a pity Senior Management don’t take over for the hour for you. You were there for your friend when she was alive and her family will know that just write them a little letter, light a candle for her and a posy of flowers to spend time at home thinking about her.
Teaching is supposed to be a caring profession but this always made me feel like it was only caring to a point.

Call in sick. Tell them ur not mentally in the right frame of mind to be at work. They can't hold that against you, these days they have to be very careful.

I’d leave plenty of schools are compassionate just not yours

@ThanksItHasPockets - but the head doesn’t want me to be out. It’s not that cover can’t be found.

I’ve been teaching nearly twenty years and I know things aren’t like this everywhere thankfully but I am put out at this.

I’m sorry about your friend OP

If it was just for an hour, does that mean it’s at the end of the school day? If so, could you go to the wake straight after school and pay your respects that way? (That’s not to say I agree with the head, just a possible suggestion).

I'm sorry. It's shit.

At a previous school I worked at, a coworker was denied leave to attend her Grandmother's funeral. Her grandmother had raised her since birth. Friend was told the funeral leave policy was "only for parents or children".

Lovely.

And the computer says no

That seems to be your approach

I would absolutely approach my head and ask for 5 mins, explain how much this means to you and you appreciate that causes hassle for the school you will be just an hour and will prepare for it as fully as possible

Why are people struggling so much with this? And/or being mean to someone who has lost a friend. My god this place stuns me daily! Vile!

So sorry for you OP he's a proper dick (as are many on this thread)!

I do think you could say you're not mentally well enough to attend school on the day of the funeral because it wouldn't be a lie as you're clearly (understandably) very upset and there's very little they can do, other than find a full days cover and wish you better.

Them denying you the hour is actually causing the stress that would mean you need more time off.

I'm so sorry OP. It's awful. I worked for a manager who did this. The official HR policy said you only HAD to grant leave for a close family member including grandparents but excluding aunts etc.

The staff member wanted to attend the funeral of her best friend and godmother to her daughter. The director point blank refused and said she was doing it to protect her employee (who was also a manager) by making sure HR policies were applied consistently. She refused because she was a mean bitch and she enjoyed doing it. Kicking her grieving employee while she was down. I left as soon as I could find another job. Who wants to work somewhere like that?

Did you check the policy? If he/she is not following the pol8cy, involve your union rep.
You are entitled to unpaid leave .

Or sucks when they apply rules rigidly
I put a request in for a half day 30s after school told me when the reception nativity was to be. Denied as it was only 5wk 6d notice (we’re supposed to give 6wk notice). 4 yo is beyond herself as she’ll be the only one with no one but what can you do?

@Happy1982ish do you think I’ve created this thread without asking for leave?

You aren’t entitled to unpaid leave just because you want it. You can ask but they don’t have to grant it. I do know most would.