To think 2 year olds should do as they're told?

[SleepingStandingUp]

And that if they don't it's a reflection on lax parenting? I'm taking not climbing and sitting in high sides, not going upstairs when told not to / coming down when told to, sitting at the table to eat, not pushing each other?

AIBU to expect that we'll raised two year olds can do all this and the fact mine don't is because I'm doing something wrong and therefore to ask how to make them behave??

Toddlers are twats. There is NO reasoning with them.

Good luck.

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣😬🤣

You should train a two year old what you expect, and reinforce good behaviour (and tell off for bad behaviour). If you do this every time, you’ll have a fabulously behaved child by age three.

But expecting a two year old to do what they’re told all the time?! Good luck with that.

It's ok, I've left them with Nanny whilst I have root canal treatment so I'm getting a break 😂😂

@JurgensCakeBabyJesus

DS is just 3 and very verbal, he's spent the last 38 minutes taking about the fiber details of monster trucks, whilst wearing only his pyjamas top because his willy needs some fresh air and was feeling lonely in his pants. I need to get ready for work, I've given up reasoning with him. Small children are illogical

Hahaha @JurgensCakeBabyJesus I’m in stitches about ‘his willy needs some fresh air and was feeling lonely in his pants” 🤣🤣🤣

Do they get easier when they talk? DS had additional needs so it isn't a fse comparison

SleepingStandingUp Yes and no. They’re less frustrated but often more unreasonable when you actually know their demands.

My 2yo was messing around at bedtime and I asked her if she had her listening ears on and she just said “no mummy, I don’t want to listen to you. I want to play.” And “I want Daddy not you” and “shush mummy I am busy, stop interrupting” All of which are probably just as irritating as crying at me.

Oh dear OP. YABVVU. Only people who don't have children think 2yr olds should behave that way. Plus my 87 year old great aunt who is convinced that my 21 months old should sit down quietly when being told so, not touch anything and definitely not want to explore her two bedroom flat. We just don't go around anymore together as it's IMPOSSIBLE to keep him seated 😂

I have twins and I think my parenting style was pretty relaxed. Keep them safe, let them play etc. It was not always easy, my daughter just wanted to chat ALL the time which was exhausting! My only rules really were on behaviour, I think because I wasn’t very strict at home when we were out and explained they needed to behave, be quiet etc they honestly understood from a really young age. Neither ever had a tantrum either.
Much harder work meow they are teens!

Now not meow!

@SleepingStandingUp

Do they get easier when they talk? DS had additional needs so it isn't a fse comparison

No. Mine then could just argue with words and express how upset they are that you dared to:

• give them a broken muesli bar. (It was broken in the box!
• cut toast wrong! toast is squares taste revolting compared to triangles or fingers. But tomorrow it will be the opposite and you’ll never know till it’s wrong. (It’s like Russian roulette but with breakfast foods)

They are super ego bruisingly honest.

I was told I have a horrible singing voice snd should just not sing. But I can listen to her sing so that’s ok. (I can’t sing but it’s ok)

I just feel like its ALWAYS my kids. Sit to eat snack at playgroup, who wants to guess who didn't want to wait for it so climbed on the table. End of group, who's kids are hiding behind curtains in the wrong room? And which Mom cried because her card wouldn't work to pay for the party? So I'm the irrational mother with unruly kids

I do think some of that is just having twins.
You can't mould your parenting style to suit one child, you can give them your full focus during every trip out.
You are also just going to be tired looking after two dc all the time.

And theyre dirt magnets 😂 so we see other pristine toddlers in the bus and mine are always rammy 😂😂

It does feel harder with two but I think lots of people probably think "well lots of people have two kids, so it isn't that different"

Well, from 12-24 months my son was absolutely angelic, which I attributed to my superb parenting skills, and my DH and I merrily conceived another one because we owed it to the world really, given how great we were at parenting.

Then my son turned 2, and in a shocking twist it turns out it actually wasn’t our great parenting, and it also turns out that wrestling with a feral naked toddler who doesn’t want to wear clothes when you’re 35 weeks pregnant is no picnic.

Well I’ve failed spectacularly!

My son did all of those things when he was 2. Now that he’s 3 he’s a CHALLENGE - maybe yours are getting it out of the way early!!

@3WildOnes

A friend of mine did have very obedient toddlers but she smacked them every single time they disobeyed. I’d rather have unruly children.

Absolutely.

I exercise firm but gentle parenting. I explain cause and effect, in short. My daughter is 2 and her comprehension is great. But she also does her own thing sometimes. And actually, as long as she isn't really misbehaving that is fine. Shes a person like me. And I sometimes get bored in situations and dont want to be places. So I think if you remind yourself of that, and that 2 year olds haven't yet learnt all the masking and societal norms, then you'll understand the behaviour more and that often what you perceive as bad behaviour is just them trying to communicate a need.

In terms of punishments as you put it I dont really do that. I definitely dont smack and never would. I did timeout a couple of times but it doesnt work with my daughter. So instead I tell her not to do what she is doing, what I want her to do instead, why that is, and we do cuddles and sorries then move on. If activities need to be changed up because that's the problem, then within reason we do that. She is still learning and is very little. She is a very polite and kind child. BUT of course she wants to climb and explore everything. What you describe sounds normal :)

@SleepingStandingUp

And theyre dirt magnets 😂 so we see other pristine toddlers in the bus and mine are always rammy 😂😂

It does feel harder with two but I think lots of people probably think "well lots of people have two kids, so it isn't that different"

We used to joke that DD could get messy in a sterile empty room, it was almost impressive 😂

They have no ability to control their impulses at that age, everything is frustrating to them and they'll let you know it.

You can tell them 100 times not to do something but they don't really understand how to control the urge.

It will get better, nearly 2 is much harder than nearly 3.

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 you should be in stand up comedy

@supersonicginandtonic

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 you should be in stand up comedy

After watching Graham Norton the other week with that couple who podcast, I did suggest to DH that we should do one and then I could afford a Nanny 😂😂

@Chasingaftermidnight 😂😂😂😂😂😂

@DragonMovie

My son did all of those things when he was 2. Now that he’s 3 he’s a CHALLENGE - maybe yours are getting it out of the way early!!

Let's hope 😂😂

what's rammy please?

I think 2 year olds should do as they are told. My 2 year old thinks otherwise.

I think that is pretty standard.

YABU.