To think 2 year olds should do as they're told?

[SleepingStandingUp]

And that if they don't it's a reflection on lax parenting? I'm taking not climbing and sitting in high sides, not going upstairs when told not to / coming down when told to, sitting at the table to eat, not pushing each other?

AIBU to expect that we'll raised two year olds can do all this and the fact mine don't is because I'm doing something wrong and therefore to ask how to make them behave??

I haven't read the thread yet but after 3 nights of terrible sleep and awful tantrums by a just turned 21 month old who objects to the word no and fish fingers in equal measures I'm hoping it's not my parenting!

Oh, god that title made me laugh OP! Hahahahah hahahahahhaha hahahahahhahahahaha.
Apparently my children are/ were always very well mannered/ behaved but one of my finer moments was carrying my runaway 2 year old by his dungaree straps like a suitcase through St Paul’s Cathedral while being photographed by dozens of laughing tourists.
Or maybe it was the time I wrestled
the same screaming child out of a local newsagents where I wouldn’t get him a toy.

Or maybe it was when th other one, again around 2, lay on the ground outside the house and sobbed because it wasn’t raining and she wanted rain.
Or the time that same 2ish year old crawled under the loo partition before I could grab while I was sat on the toilet into the cubicle next door to say hi to the - god love her-very understanding older lady who was in there.

Hahahahahaha @logsonlogsoff I’m in stitches about your dc crawling into another person’s toilet cubicle 🤣🤣🤣🤣

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

@SleepingStandingUp
My friend summed it up perfectly when we talked about two year olds: she said ‘they want everything but can’t do anything’.

@DancinOnTheCeiling she was like a fecking ninja! Never seen her move so fast before. We’ll, only maybe when running towards traffic…

[quote logsonlogsoff]@DancinOnTheCeiling she was like a fecking ninja! Never seen her move so fast before. We’ll, only maybe when running towards traffic…[/quote]
@logsonlogsoff she sounds bloody brilliant 😅😂

Tell that to my two year old!

‘ obv tell them off and remove them etc but I struggle with appropriate "punishments"’

You can’t really punish a toddler for doing the very thing they need to to - assert their independence- to develop and survive as a human.
Besides, they have the attention span of, well, toddlers so the only thing that really works is being consistent, having the reflexes of Bruce Lee, and just get to them to past 3 years old when they wise up ( a tiny bit) are less likely to wreck havoc at the drop of a hat for no apparent logical
Reason.

Two. Years. Old. Please.

@DeepaBeesKit

This thread better be a joke. I'm ill with Covid and my 2 year old, who's also got it but you'd never bloody know, is off the fucking walls.

I've tried timeouts/naughty step. She has turned it on me, and now flounces off there mid tantrum announcing "I going the naughty step. You not come with me cos I cross with you."

This is brilliant

@DeepaBeesKit. We gave up on the ‘naughty’ time out step when we caught DS 4 and DD 2 playing the naughty step game and doing not bad impersonations of us losing our shit… the power was gone… if it has ever existed!

Sorry, this is such a long thread and I've not taken it all in - but OP, the thing I cling to is that other people almost never think your children are as badly behaved as you do. They are so frustrating at this age! You sit there fuming, thinking you are a terrible parent. But chances are, most people around you won't even notice. They may even think your children are adorable and charming.

If you possible can, I highly recommend taking them to the supermarket on a weekday morning. Where I am, this means it's less busy, but often the people who shop at this time are not in such a rush. You get lots of positive feedback, and your children will love it - but you won't get in people's way. It's really good.

When my DD was 2 she was an absolute angel. I was never smug about it because I knew it might not last, and I tried not to take it for granted, but I still did. She was an awful baby, then a superstar from 18mo (coincided with us doing sleep training and her actually sleeping for more than 45mins at a time) until about 3.5, then she had a stroppy threenager year or so before going back to being an angel. She's 7 now and is still very well behaved and generally a delight. Not looking forward to the teenage years but enjoying her while I can.

However. DS is 3 and has been a nightmare since 18mo. Before that he was pretty much a dream baby (sleep issues solved much earlier). He's only just starting to come out the other side, but he had a 45min tantrum this morning because DH said hello to him. He was a proper terrible two, is now a threenager, and we didn't do anything different with him. I adore him but he's hard work.

@LunaAndHerMoonDragons

OP as far as timeout goes I tried putting myself in it a few times when they were little and I still couldn't get any peace there. It's not you, they're being little kids. Sorry I missed the second bit of your post, I was too busy laughing at the title 😁.

Yeah I'd never get away with time out, their Maaaaaaam is solid and loud 😂😂

@Hall84

I haven't read the thread yet but after 3 nights of terrible sleep and awful tantrums by a just turned 21 month old who objects to the word no and fish fingers in equal measures I'm hoping it's not my parenting!

Sending sleep dust and hugs

@SarahAndQuack the bus has the same effect. They wave and say bye to anyone who walks past, they stare with their big blue eyes at people then pretend to go shy, they are utterly utterly adorable. Because no one heard them screaming in the bus stop and I'm singing at them to keep them quiet. But people always wave and smile back, say how lovely they are and old ladies always tell me I'm doing a good job. The kind of idiot who declares "omg, I'd kill myself if I had twins" is quite rsre

[quote SleepingStandingUp]@SarahAndQuack the bus has the same effect. They wave and say bye to anyone who walks past, they stare with their big blue eyes at people then pretend to go shy, they are utterly utterly adorable. Because no one heard them screaming in the bus stop and I'm singing at them to keep them quiet. But people always wave and smile back, say how lovely they are and old ladies always tell me I'm doing a good job. The kind of idiot who declares "omg, I'd kill myself if I had twins" is quite rsre[/quote]
Oh, that made me laugh because I relate! Yep, definitely this.

Honestly, I am sure most people think they are adorable children. I do know where you are coming from in feeling they're awful, but you are doing a good job. You just need to hear it more.

Two year olds are mood swinging little terrors/ angels.
My DD was two in September, sometimes she listens then says okay and obeys, other times she screams and says I yavan idea mummy and continues doing whatever it is she's not supposed to do.
( She doesn't really know what having an idea means but it's so cute the way she says it, I'm sure she knows we find it cute and thinks we won't try and stop her from whatever she's doing wrong.)

Hmm, no I wouldn't. From what I've read and experienced toddlers don't actually listen to what your saying a lot of the time. They need repetition. I personally believe unless you're one stroke and you're in time out (which for me is too hard core given their brains struggle to listen all the time) then they simply won't always do those things. I think repetition and engaging eye contact and focus before repeating something is key. Equally a chance to listen before consequences eg timeout. That's how we operate. I sometimes give too many chances before timeout and she plays me for a fool (generally whilst getting ready for work!) but it'll come. Two is still so young. Their brains are taking in so much all the time and listening to you and rules isn't always top priority. Throw in hungry, tired, bored, cold etc and you'll have even less joy. Don't stress. If they're kind and listen a bit and understand the general achievable rules you'll be fine. I find when they're that bit older you can explain more and really give consequences and they understand more. Two is terrible and brutal. Just don't expect too much and try to remember how the world must look from their point of view. The grumpy lady may be making a face but to your two year old the funny looking carpet may just look far too interesting to sit at the table.

@EatYourVegetables

They’re like tiny tyrannical drunks.

Like teenagers but less reasonable. Or like Henry VIII: “But I want that wife!! Want her want her want her. Wait… no didn’t want that one, want a different one!!!” They will scream for half an hour because you’ve stopped them from running into a road, or because you broke their cheese in half, or because the cup that was their favourite yesterday is no longer their favourite and why didn’t you guess that.

They’re terrifying.

🤣🤣 sounds like you've met my youngest.

2 year olds are arseholes and I hate to tell you this now, but 3 year olds are no better.

I assume you've posted in response to being criticised?

They should in Theory…

But my practical experience says “hahahaha are you fucking delusional?”

Mine once had a screaming losing her shit sobbing tantrum about the wind blowing off her hat. It was a windy day, her hat had a tie on it and was just behind her head.

My oldest used to freak the fuck out when ever my Dh’s aunt or neighbour talked.
Her greatest fear was tiny elderly Italians chatting.

@Hoesbeforebroes

2 year olds are arseholes and I hate to tell you this now, but 3 year olds are no better.

I assume you've posted in response to being criticised?

Toddlers are the reason some animals eat their young. (Imagine having 15 of them at once)

I started laughing a little when I read the title.

I started laughing a lot when I read the OP.

2 year olds do not behave. They do not follow direction well. You will have to guide them over and over and over again. The rare 2 year old who is perfectly polite and perfectly behaved is not the product of ideal parenting, they are the result of genetics, solar winds, and a butterfly fluttering its wings 300 years ago. and