To think 2 year olds should do as they're told?

[SleepingStandingUp]

And that if they don't it's a reflection on lax parenting? I'm taking not climbing and sitting in high sides, not going upstairs when told not to / coming down when told to, sitting at the table to eat, not pushing each other?

AIBU to expect that we'll raised two year olds can do all this and the fact mine don't is because I'm doing something wrong and therefore to ask how to make them behave??

At two, they're learning. At two, as the parent, you're learning, how to parent the two year old you have in front of you. Some are more compliant - my just two year old taught her godmother how to change a nappy, she was a right managing little thing - and some of them are fire crackers - think Calvin & Hobbes on Crack. . . if you've got my little madam, you might think you're the bees knees, even if you feel slightly inferior in the face of her knee high superiority, if you have the fire cracker, you might be exhaustedly wondering what the fuck did you do wrong, and where is the desk where you go for returns and refunds. . .

Lolz!!!

Ok, I'll bite. It reflects on the parent's ability to parent if they just sit back and allow their child to do those things unchecked.

But toddlers will be toddlers, they be kray kray!

X post with loads of people including you OP sorry!

A friend of mine did have very obedient toddlers but she smacked them every single time they disobeyed. I’d rather have unruly children.

Hahahahaha!!!

😂😂
Just in case you're serious, people will only judge if you don't discipline or deal with the unacceptable behaviour.

I obv tell them off and remove them etc but I struggle with appropriate "punishments"

I would lose all notion of punishments. There are no appropriate punishments for a 2 year old behaving naturally. Appropriate response from you is to repeatedly remove them from the dangerous place as many times as they go to it.

Do you want a stiff drink and we'll tell you about threenagers ?

Some children at 2 are compliant, listen to you and do as they’re told. If you have one of these you smugly think you’re the best parent on earth.
Some children at 2 are feral, do not care and basically want to cause havoc. If you have one of these you think you’re doing something wrong and doubt your parenting skills.
If you have one or more of each you know the secret: some children are just more…spirited than others! As long as you’re consistent and try your best your child will become less feral in the end!
(Not accounting for children with additional needs here btw! If you have any concerns always consult you HV or GP)

🤣🤣 the problem with 2 year olds is that they are 2. They often don’t understand what is going on, they’ve got no sense at all and they are going through a developmental stage of testing boundaries. Only 3 year olds are more challenging.

You do need to be firm and consistent and lay out clear expectations, but don’t expect them to always be compliant because they are 2.

I’m a secondary school teacher and when I had children I was blown away by the amount of teaching required to socialise under 10s, I’d always thought it was a natural process, but they really don’t just pick it up!

@Namechangeforthis88

Sorry but that's crazy. I don't even know where to start.

With advice, empathy, comparison or gin.

Give them time what, til they're not two?? 😂

Sorry to let you know, but I don't always do as I ought to, despite knowing the consequences. Cola and chocolate is a lovely breakfast occasionally.

@megletthesecond

Do you want a stiff drink and we'll tell you about threenagers ?

4-6 was a really eye opener for me!

Hahahaha!

I don't think it is about punishments at this age OP. It is about redirection, saying sorry, removal of toy causing the issue etc.

Also just leaving this here

Ohhh they like to start early on the terrible twos! Ds1 started at 18 months, and I well remember one morning when he’d been screaming solidly for nearly an hour, having had a 90 minute long tantrum the night before - I was heavily pregnant and was on the phone in floods of tears to dh, telling him I couldn’t cope.

Then it went quiet. If you have a toddler, you know that silence is not golden - it is terrifying!

I got off the phone and went to find ds1 - he was standing by the kitchen bin, eating left over tortilla chips we’d thrown away the night before. But that’s not the worst part. I knew that, if I took him away from his delicious bin snack, he’d start screaming again - so I let him carry on eating!

When he got bored and wandered off, I emptied the bin and found somewhere better for it to live. Ds1 must have had a cast iron digestion, because he didn’t have any trace of an ill effect from eating from the bin. And he got over the terrible twos, and is now a very nice young man - and I survived two more goes of the terrible twos with his brothers. And then the teenage years……

My own DC were (very) late movers and so were relatively easy to control at 2.
My friends DD is 2 and, when with me, at nursery, with her Aunt etc. is very biddable and does what she is told. With her Mum, less so. Two year olds test boundaries with the person they trust the most.

I don’t even know where to start with this pile of wank.

At two, they're really only babies. Any consistent expectations are going anywhere.

Blimey OP, I'm assuming you therefore must have twins and just wow, I take my hat off to you for still being vaguely sane. My 2 yo's (3 of them, not at the same time!) were wonderful, if you enjoyed a carnival of disgraceful strops, interspersed with occasional mania, screaming, tantrums and then wonderful bear hugs that made it all worthwhile.

As the penguins of Madagascar say, just smile and wave boys. It gets better, I promise and just try to keep a sense of humour; it helps!

@Sparklfairy

I'm guessing you don't have kids OP. Fwiw neither do I, and I love the theory of good parenting = good toddlers but am aware the reality is very different. I also don't remember being two and a little shithead.

No you missed the last bit. The not quite twonager twins are mine 😂

My then two year old was pretty good like that. Then he hit 3 and all hell broke loose.

My 18 month old is approaching the terrible twos already

what, til they're not two?

Yup, you've got it!

DS was a runner. I never managed to "train" him out of it. He grew out of it when he was ready. Nothing I did had any impact on his strong instinct to run every chance he got.

I thought I was doing something badly wrong. Turns out he's on the spectrum, plus very strong willed, so no idea if it's his ASD or his personality, but my attempts to change him were utterly futile!

This too will pass is the MN mantra with good reason.

You have not-yet-two-year-old twins? Give yourself a break OP! I’m sure there’s absolutely nothing wrong with your parenting. Well done for surviving this far 👍🏻